Kids say the darndest things! What has your LO said lately that had you in stitches?

Discussion in 'In The Family Way' started by mom2lucas, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. sweetpickle

    sweetpickle Member Trader Group

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    My ds (he's 8) always has me on my toes I feel like now I always need to keep 2 steps ahead of him! There are so many things he says I start to not to remember them all!! But the other day he called me down to his room and so I went and asked what do you need? He looks at me and shows his butt and says "I need a new butt, my has a crack in it" You called me her for that and he just laughs. When he gets undressed for his shower and say "Hey mom look it's a full moon" Young boys and their butts??!! The most embarrassing would've been in Wal-Mart. Him and his sister were misbehaving I gave them a look. He lays on the floor and yells "please mommy don't beat my butt" as loud (or seemed) as he could while covering it with his hands rolling around. I just started walking the other way..ugh.

    When we lived in N.C. my mom, sister, dd and niece that was 4 at the time went out to eat by the beach. My niece says "why is that chocolate man staring at me?" We were so embarrassed and then he walks over and says it's ok I've been called a lot worse.

    Just on Saturday we were at my other niece's 4th birthday party. My ds reached in the cooler I jokingly said "Cody that's beer" He looks at me with his silly smart look and says nah-uh it's coke. So my sister n law gets a drink for my niece and she says "I'm having juice and Cody's having beer" Oh did I have explaining to do for her! Then I made sure rest of day I didn't say anything smart and stupid!!!

    Now myself I was around 4 and we showed cows. So we were at the state farm show and I knew the place around pretty well. I had a little toy cow on a rope that I wheeled around and treated it like our real cows. At milking time my older sister had to take the cows to water them and to the milking parlor for my mom to milk. So she was to be watching me at the time. She was by all the cows, mom was at the parlor and I was at the water trough. A state police man came over and asked if I was lost. I told him no and my sister was over there pointing. So he took me over to my sister and asked her "do you know this little girl?" She looked straight at him and said "no I never seen that girl in my life". I couldn't believe she just lied to the cop and then he took me away to the police station!! She said I was crying and she laughs about it all the time. Needless to say she got in a lot of trouble for it and my parents asked why she would do such a thing. She told them she was tired of me running off and had to be taught a lesson! But in the end I got in trouble since it started to happen a lot more since every time I saw a cop and they would ask if I was lost and I would tell them yes since they would give you a lollipop while you waited for your parents to come get you. It was usually mom that came but the last time I did it was when my dad came....ooppss.
    My dad likes to tell the story of when he was milking cows I crawled on his lap and asked "Dad can't mom have the baby on your birthday?" My little brother was born on mine and my sister was coming the same month. He told me "I think it's a little late for that" Mines October and his is in April, lol! She came 13 days before mine..whew..now I thinks its "cool" but when your little it's just not fair sharing your birthday!! So I tell people we're twins but he's so slow it took him an extra 4 years to come out.
     
  2. Green is Gold

    Green is Gold Member of the Month June 2012 <br>Queen Of The Cir Staff Member Trader Group Moderator

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    We have a neighbor named Ray, his garage is the "pretend motorcycle gang clubhouse for men having a midlife crisis."
    Well, that's what I call it anyway. :whistle67:
    It's 3-5 guys who stand around (usually smoking some sort of meat in the smoker) talking about the latest episode of Sons of Anarchy. :rolleyes24:
    Ray keeps a freezer full of popsicles for my kids.

    Tonight, he gives my son (4yrs old) one and says, "Cole, you're gonna turn into a popcicle!"
    My son says, "Ray, you're gonna turn into a beer!"
     
  3. foreveretc

    foreveretc New Member Trader Group

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    We always try to stress to the kids how being mean can hurt someones feelings, my 4 y/o stepson (at the time) was arguing with his sister and told her "sissy, you broke my feelings!"
     
  4. sweety1218

    sweety1218 New Member

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    this afternoon i walked into my living room and found my 5yo baby girl on my laptop... they know they dont touch... when i asked her what she was doing she simply replied, with a cute little princess attitude, "ummmm, i'm getting goupons" (she cant say the 'c' very clearly yet)... can you tell who my little helper is???
     
  5. VivaciousJewelz

    VivaciousJewelz Mod of the Month March 2011 </br>Plays with Fire<b Trader Group

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    I was walking home from church and this guy tried to hit on me and asked me out. I said I have a boyfriend and Cara said "Yeah, we have Uncle *boyfriend's name*! Mommy, let's go see Uncle H!" I about died laughing.
     
  6. LadyCamelion

    LadyCamelion New Member Trader Group

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    Here's 2 for y'all:

    1. We were walking to the checkout counter at the dentist office. My 7 year old DS said to my 11 DD "So you had 2 cavities? I didn't have any." Then he stretched his arms up behind his head and said "Ahhh, it's great to be young!" The whole office broke up laughing!

    2. DD called DS a baby so he said "Yeah? Well your so little that it's like you just got born out of mom's butt!" DH and I just began to chuckle, then DD replied, "Babies don't come out of butts!" and he said "So where do they get born out of, then?" She said "Out of a mommy's pee pee." THEN he said, "Well, you're so little, it's like you just got born out of mom's WIENER!" At that point, we all just broke up laughing!
     
  7. JulieDB

    JulieDB New Member

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    Given our upcoming financial situation, we don't know how we will be able to eat. So daughter said, "Well just have to throw it up and then eat it again!"
     
  8. Justmeinflorida

    Justmeinflorida New Member Trader Group

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    Ok this isn't the same as kids saying funny things but I got one for ya about things they do.

    My friend who lived down the hall from me about 12yrs ago was going to TrueValue and was taking my son with her. When she came back, she told me something her son had did. The boys (then around 4) were playing in one of the isles and she was in another with her daughter. Her daughter went to go check on them and she found her brother on one of the display toilets taking a poop. Needless to say she got out of there very quickly...ewwwww!!!! I would've cleaned it but I think she was to embarrassed to think. :hysterical:
     
  9. gatosqueak

    gatosqueak Well-Known Member Trader Group

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    O.M.G. That's awesome.
     
  10. 434Teresa

    434Teresa New Member Trader Group

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    My little girl (5) told my mom that she wshe got big she was going to be like mommy(me) and do what she wants to. My mom told me what she said so I ask her about it. Then I asked her what if her husban was mean and told her what to do, she looks at me and says "I will tell him to pack his bags and get out and I ant playing around".......to much like her mommy, that sounds just like something I would say.
     
  11. 3timesoccermom

    3timesoccermom The Original Dinner Guru

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    Teresa - that is SO cute!!! I can't believe they are 5!!!!
     
  12. judytime

    judytime New Member

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    I remember my son is really obsessed with reincarnation.. not so much in a creepy way? But more like.. fascinated with the entire process. So he's utterly convinced that people get "reborn" into a sin they have taken part of. So.. for example.. if you starved someone to death in your past life you'd be reincarnated into someone really fat or really thin. His logic.. not mine.

    But he really made me laugh out loud.. we saw a particularly sad looking homeless man on the floor sleeping and he proudly announced that was Osama Bin Laden rather loudly to me at the bus station.

    I just couldn't get over how confident he was in his discover.. just how happily he said it with such a bright and beaming smile.. god... it was cute.
     
  13. hanna22

    hanna22 New Member

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