digi_diva is my winner; RAOK ~ Potluck of Qs, mix of inserts & non.inserts.

[SFShopper]

Okay's, I wanna put together an envie for one of you - a mix of inserts & non.inserts since all you peeps - soooo nice. Ends Mon., 02/14 - Valentine's Day @ 8 PM PST - and I'll mail out Tues., 02/15. ~ if I have Da Winners addy

Tell me ... arghhh - trying to think as I type this out... Okay - tell me a funny story.

Can I make a mod choose the winner? Fine... I'll choose a winner - arghhh

[Jasmin71]

We have 2 boys and 1 Daughter ( she is the youngest) once they all got a little older we tried to teach them that the Boys and Girls had different Bodyparts .

So this is what happends at the local Grocery Store :

This little old Lady been playing with my Daughter ( AKA Angel), making those funny faces you know how they are.

So this little old Lady finally asks my little Angel whats your Name which my little Angel yells out Proudly :


VAGINAAAAAAA !!!!


Yes she yelled it ,,,, I just stud there and turned the darkest Shades of RED. Of course EVERYONE heard it.... everyone stopped and then started to laugh.

No I could NOT find a hole to climb into ! Mind you I still had to shop there !


Another Funny for you:

I am from Germany so we put our Ring on the RIGHT Hand Finger.

So me and Hubby getting married ....I am standing up there with him in front of the WHOLE TOWN! And for the Life of me I cant figure out WHY his ring wont fit his Finger now I am even giving it a bit of a hard push. Our Pastor finally tells me its ok you can get it on later with a SMIRK. My Hubby Smirking as well, I am so nervous I dont even care I just want that darn ring on his Finger !

AFTER the Wedding is over and we go down the Isle, I am still worried sense his Ring is still not on. So then everyone comes up and tells us Congrats and for me they addes a NEW LINE

Congrats Huney but here in the US we put the RING on the LEFT Hand might want to try to put it there it might fit better !

Gave me hugs and walked off...... so YES LOW and Behold I tried to put the ring on the wrong side and my LOVELY Hubby & Pastor just stud there grinning their A$$ off .

Yup I finally put it on his right Finger and YES I fit !

[TiggerToo]

Can't think of a funny story at this point except I like stalking a certain person here, no names mentioned, (sfshopper) and outbidding this person (sfshopper) on auctions, giving them a hard time in the trade forum (sfshopper) and then smack talking them (sfshopper) through emoticons!!!

[fussypants]

When my son was about 3 we took him to lunch after a mid-morning doctor's appointment. It was a pizza restaurant with a lunch buffet. By the time we were leaving the lunch hour rush was starting and the restaurant was packed and so was the parking lot with cars coming and going.

We got our son all fastened in his car seat and started to pull out. He promptly started gagging and then vomiting all over himself and of course, the car.

We quickly stopped and pulled him out of the car and stood him up on the curb while we attempted to clean him up. We got him as cleaned up as we could and then started wiping up the mess in the car/his car seat.

While my husband and I had our heads in the car, he was standing on the curb waving to the people that were walking by our car and the passing cars in the parking lot.

Next thing we know, he starts waving his arms and then proceeded to yell at a group walking into the restaurant. He said: ''Hey, the pizza here is really good, because I ate so much I ''throwed up''!

Not the best promotion that pizza place could have hoped for! We laughed for days!

[digi_diva]

My hubby will kill me if he found out that I posted this, but the best one I can think of right now is on him! LOL!
What makes this so funny is that “normally” hubby is an extremely smart man so when he does something like this he doesn’t live it down for a loooong time.
My mom, hubby and I are getting our plates ready for dinner. Hubby looks at me with this totally confused look and says “this pepper shaker is ‘broken’”. I just stare at him with this totally blank look wondering how a pepper shaker can be broken? Then he completes his thought. “See, I pour the pepper here (over his eggs) but the pepper goes over there. (On the cabinet) I’m still blank for a few seconds (As I said, he is actually smart so this reaaaaalllly caught me off guard) Finally, I catch myself well enough to answer him. “Well, that’s because you’re standing in front of the fan!”
Needless to say we have made so much fun of him, not to mention, that story got eternally scrapbooked for all our friends and family to see! He still turns red on that one!
I read in the faqs that it was ok for tnt to post in the RAOK things, so I hope it is ok that I posted.

[angeleyeza]

a funny story? LOL ok... I had D3 at the grocery store with me 3 weeks ago. The usual Stop and get a cookie at the bakery. She politely says thank you and we walk off. we fill the cart and I had the lady the coupons and stormy stands there and she looks at me look " ut oh" I said to her what is wrong, she looks and smiles at me and screams at the top of her lungs, " I had to fart mom.. cuse me" needless to say the cashier was laughing her butt off, and the guy behind me was snickering. At least all the lanes near us everyone was laughing..lol me I didnt know wether to be embarrased or what. The manager that knows us by name was bagging..lol came over and handed Stormy stickers and a balloon.

talk about an interesting day..

[$savingmomof4]

My husband and I got married in November. We have been together,for what seems like forever-- 17 years. Our oldest daughter,who is 9 yrs old, after the wedding ceremony breaks out in song--- " I finally have parents.... I finally have parents". She is so funny! Everyone was laughing! It was a great day.

[bazzy]

My kid at an Amish-owned auction right after Thanksgiving...

He looks around slowly then announces to everyone with amazement that there are Pilgrims in the room...

[434Teresa]

This one is about my hubby to, which he wont know for he dont get on HCW

The other sunday afternoon he comes in the kicthen and tells me that he is going to go to town and fill his truck up with gas for the week. I said ok, then he said where is you van keys so I can dive it to town.. I busted out lughing and said now how are you going to fill YOUR truck up if you are going to drive my van, then my Julia looks up and says duh daddy..(she just turned 4)..

There is a lession here also you just dont know when a 4 year old is listening to whats going on..

[vicar01]

didnt say it had to be true right??
Unbaked Yeast Rolls

Those of you who have animals will probably appreciate this the most. It is a story that is hilarious in itself and the person who wrote it is a good writer and made the story even better. Enjoy...



We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of adoption, imagine taking in a 10 year old child about whom you know nothing and committing to doing your best to be a good parent.


Like a child, the dog came with his own idiosyncrasies. He will only sleep on the bed, on top of the covers, nuzzled as close to my face as he can get without actually performing a French kiss on me.


Lest you think this is a bad case of 'no discipline,' I should tell you that Perry and I tried every means to break him of this habit, including locking him in a separate bedroom for several nights. The new door cost over $200. But I digress.


Five weeks ago we began remodeling our house. Although the cost of the project is downright obnoxious, it was 20 years overdue AND it got me out of cooking Thanksgiving for family, extended family, and a lot of friends that I like more than family most of the time.


I was assigned the task of preparing 124 of my famous yeast dinner rolls for the two Thanksgiving feasts we did attend.


I am still cursing the electrician for getting the new oven hooked up so quickly. It was the only appliance in the whole darn house that worked, thus the assignment.


I made the decision to cook the rolls on Wed evening to reheat Thurs am. Since the kitchen was freshly painted, you can imagine the odor. Not wanting the rolls to smell like Sherwin Williams #586, I put the rolls on baking sheets and set them in the living room to rise for a few hours. Perry and I decided to go out to eat, returning in about an hour. The rolls were ready to go in the oven.


It was 8:30 PM. When I went to the living room to retrieve the pans, much to my shock, one whole pan of 12 rolls was empty. I called out to Jasper and my worst nightmare became a reality. He literally wobbled over to me. He looked like a combination of the Pillsbury dough boy and the Michelin Tire man wrapped up in fur. He groaned when he walked. I swear even his cheeks were bloated.


I ran to the phone and called our vet. After a few seconds of uproarious laughter, he told me the dog would probably be okay; however, I needed to give him Pepto Bismol every 2 hours for the rest of the night. God only knows why I thought a dog would like Pepto Bismo any more than my kids did when they were sick. Suffice it to say that by the time we went to bed the dog was black, white and pink. He was so bloated we had to lift him onto the bed for the night.


We arose at 7:30 and as we always do first thing, put the dog out to relieve himself. Well, the dog was as drunk as a sailor on his first leave. He was running into walls, falling flat on his butt and most of the time when he was walking, his front half was going one direction and the other half was either dragging the grass or headed 90 degrees in another direction.


He couldn't lift his leg to pee, so he would just walk and pee at the same time. When he ran down the small incline in our back yard he couldn't stop himself and nearly ended up running into the fence.


His pupils were dilated and he was as dizzy as a loon. I endured another few seconds of laughter from the vet (second call within 12 hours) before he explained that the yeast had fermented in his belly and that he was indeed drunk.


He assured me that, not unlike most binges we humans go through, it would wear off after about 4 or 5 hours, and to keep giving him Pepto Bismol.


Afraid to leave him by himself in the house, Perry and I loaded him up and took him with us to my sister's house for the first Thanksgiving meal of the day.


My sister lives outside of Muskogee on a ranch, (10 to 15 minute drive). Rolls firmly secured in the trunk (124 less 12) and drunk dog leaning from the back seat onto the console of the car between Perry and I, we took off.


Now I know you probably don't believe that dogs burp, but believe me when I say that after eating a tray of risen unbaked yeast rolls, DOGS WILL BURP. These burps were pure Old Charter. They would have matched or beat any smell in a drunk tank at the police station. But that's not the worst of it.


Now he was beginning to fart and they smelled like baked rolls. God strike me dead if I am not telling the truth! We endured this for the entire trip to Karen's, thankful she didn't live any further away than she did.


Once Jasper was firmly placed in my sister's garage with the door locked, we finally sat down to enjoy our first Thanksgiving meal of the day. The dog was the topic of conversation all morning long and everyone made trips to the garage to witness my drunken dog, each returning with a tale of Jasper's latest endeavor to walk without running into something. Of course, as the old adage goes, 'what goes in must come out' and Jasper was no exception.


Granted if it had been me that had eaten 12 risen, unbaked yeast rolls, you might as well have put a concrete block up my behind, but alas a dog's digestive system is quite different from yours or mine. I discovered this was a mixed blessing when we prepared to leave Karen's house. Having discovered his 'packages' on the garage floor, we loaded him up in the car so we could hose down the floor.


This was another naive decision on our part. The blast of water from the hose hit the poop on the floor and the poop on the floor withstood the blast from the hose. It was like Portland cement beginning to set up and cure.


We finally tried to remove it with a shovel. I (obviously no one else was going to offer their services) had to get on my hands and knees with a coarse brush to get the remnants off of the floor. And as if this wasn't degrading enough, the darn dog in his drunken state had walked through the poop and left paw prints all over the garage floor that had to be brushed too.


Well, by this time the dog was sobering up nicely so we took him home and dropped him off before we left for our second Thanksgiving dinner at Perry's sister's house.


I am happy to report that as of today (Monday) the dog is back to normal both in size and temperament. He has had a bath and is no longer tricolor. None the worse for wear I presume. I am also happy to report that just this evening I found 2 risen unbaked yeast rolls hidden inside my closet door.


It appears he must have come to his senses after eating 10 of them but decided hiding 2 of them for later would not be a bad idea. Now, I'm doing research on the computer as to: 'How to clean unbaked dough from the carpet.'


And how was your day?