RAOK: Winners of Silly (Clean) Jokes - Jojaby & SCCC2213

[TxAngel3115]

This was a very hard to make a decision there were some great jokes on here.. Thank you all who participated.


Hi All,

I have two (2) envelopes full of coupons that are waiting to go to the two who makes me laugh the most... I will make a final decision on Wednesday, November 4th, at 10pm central time...

Let the laughing begin!!!!!

[vicar01]

what do you call a cow with no legs??
ground beef

[shetlandponyluvr]

An oldie but a goodie-

"Where does Ronald Reagan keep his armies?
In his sleevies!"

[bethanyam]

AWWW I wanted to tell a dirty one......

A white horse fell in the mud!!!!

[Amalgamate]

This is a fun RAOK!

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

[SCCC2213]

LOL i like this thread already.

"I married Mr. Right. I just didn't know his first name was Always."

[TxAngel3115]

These are great.... I cant wait to see more...

[Jojaby]

This was sent to me - hope it makes you smile

. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU SLICE.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICALPROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[fussypants]

Where does a boy cow take a girl cow on a date?

The Mooooovies:)

[bunnynugget305]

ok, so this little girl walked up to her mom and asked
"mom, how old are you?"
and the mom said "honey that is not something you ask an adult!"
"mom, how much do you weigh?"
and the mom said "honey that is not something you ask an adult!"
"mom, why did you and dad get divorced?"
and the mom said "honey that is not something you ask an adult!"

the following day the little girl went over to her friends house where her friend told her to look at her mom's driver's licence "it will tell you EVERYTHING"

The following day the little girl walked up to her mom and said "Mom you are 33 years old and weigh 135 pounds, and I know why you and dad got divorced. You got an F in sex!"

(the joke isn't dirty, that would be your mind!)