(Jokes & Humor) Real Advertisements

[queenofthehivemomof5]

Real advertisements

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

• Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
• A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
• Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
• For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
• Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
• Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
• Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
• For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
• Great Dames for sale.
• Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
• Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
• Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
• Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
• If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
• Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
• The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
• Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
• Stock up and save. Limit: one.
• We build bodies that last a lifetime.
• For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
• Man, honest. Will take anything.
• Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
• Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
• UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
• Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
• Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
• Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
• 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
• Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
• Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
• Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
• Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
• Illiterate? Write today for free help.
• Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
• Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
• Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
• And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
• We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
• Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
• For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
• Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
• Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

[sds74]

Ok I saw this one a couple of years ago. On a billboard in Louisville 'Tattoos while you wait'. :) LOL

[kingofthehive]

I thinkthe best billboard I have ever seenis on in the town I used to live in. It was a pic of uncle Sam pointing like in the old I want you ads. At the bottom it read "PULL MY FINGER"

[Jusk]

I have 2 favorites in my town.....

A funeral home with a street sign next to it that reads DEAD END


There is an office complex near the hospital.....most of the offices in it are medical.....

There was a big sign with an arrow-------------------->
Impotence Clinic

and the sign under it said <------------------
Self Esteem Support Group

It always cracked me up!!!

[MissChele]

On a billboard in Louisville 'Tattoos while you wait'. :) LOL

That's Tattoo Charlie's...

I like the "Used Cows For Sale" sign just south of Louisville on I-65


MissChele/KY

[MaryMary]

This is not a joke, while sounds like one.

I saw an attorney ad, his name as Thomas Badway.

"Go Badway, or else"?

I would of change the last name if I'd want any clients.

[BzyBee]

My dad took a picture in his town:

Regular speed limit in town is posted at 25 mph...when they started construction, they posted orange 'safety first' speed limit of 30 mph....:Eh: The signs are within 10 ft. of each other.

[mybebe]