Things I learned while in Oklahoma

*Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. *

*There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4, 998 live in Oklahoma. *

*There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, plus a few no one has ever seen before. *

*Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe. *

*If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! *

*Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. *

*There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house."
"A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck."
*The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2. *

*Onced and twiced are words. *

*Coldbeer is one word. *

*People actually grow and eat okra. *

*Green grass DOES burn. *

*When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog.
City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night. *

*The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. *

*When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor. *

*Fix-in-to is one word. *

*There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper. *

*"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals
, and you start drinking it when you are two. *

*"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you. *

*"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?" *

*You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done,
or it's too dark to see. *

*You measure distance in minutes or hours *

*You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the
same day. *

*Stores don't have bags. They have sacks. *

*You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year. *

*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a
vegetable.*

*You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked. *

*You carry jumper cables for your own car *

*You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. *

*You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco . *

*You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. *

*The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football. *

*The first day of deer season is a state holiday. *

*You know which leaves make good toilet paper. *

*You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm. *

*The four seasons are: almost summer,
summer, still summer and Christmas. *

*You know whether another person is from East, West, North, or South Oklahoma as soon as he opens his mouth. *

*Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or"off to Wally-world." *

*You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili eatin weather."*

*A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a coke regardless of brand or flavor. *