Not just no, but HECK no!

[3timesoccermom]

I took my oldest daughter to the airport for a trip. Before leaving one of her good friends called and asked if she could "switch vehicles" with her over the weekend because my daughter's car gets better mileage and her friend was going out of town too.

I really like this girl - we all do - and she is responsible and mature, BUT you just don't ask to use another person's car like that, do you????? If it were older and beat up (it's a 2007 Toyota Corolla) I might not mind so much and it's not so much the friend I don't trust but other drivers.

Regardless, I just don't think it's a good idea even though my daughter, if she hadn't been living here would have said "yes" in a heartbeat. Yeah, she of the rotten driving record whose car insurance costs more than twice as much as the next highest vehicle on our policy.

[hburnette3]

I can understand switching cars IF they were both grown and own their own but not teenagers.

I would have had a fit. ok maybe not a fit but it wouldn't have happened.

I don't think the age of the car matters as much as the age of the girls.

[3timesoccermom]

They're 22 (mine) and 21 (friend).

BUT, WE paid every cent on daughter's car and are STILL paying for her insurance since she's in school.

[Jen1]

I wouldn't allow it either. ...Question though - who pays the auto insurance? If it's her, then you might have a fight on your hands, if you, then it's totally reasonable for you to say no.

[Dengineer]

No freaking way! Everybody in this situation has a car and everybody should drive their own car. Life is already complicated enough.

Although being in their 20's you really don't have much say (except through the influence of being the parent.)

[foggierbard9]

Another thing is, if your auto insurance is like my parent's car insurance was, nobody under the age of 25 unless in the family could drive the vehicle. The insurance didn't cover them.

If she lives at home and you pay everything, I say you have the say and they just deal.

[$Saving!]

A car isn't like borrowing a dress from a friend!

Obviously the friend has a whole different set of values and boundaries in her mind than most.

Perhaps no one has ever told her no in her life on big issues - like not borrowing a car and the requisite insurance coverage that someone else pays dearly for, or perhaps she just feels she's worthy of everything she asks for??

Dang, that takes a set (excuse me!)!


ETA - A dress doesn't come with massive liability insurance and tremendous exposure to financial hardship if the car is damaged or people are hurt, no matter who is at fault.

[434Teresa]

NO car borrowing here...I dont ask to borrow and I dont loan mine out ever. I will give someone a ride and I would ask for ride if I need one. But to loan a car out is always a no from me so thats why I dont ask to borrow one.

I dont want to feel bad if I tear someone elses car up and I dont anyone to feel bad if they were to tear mine up..so this way there is no hard feeling of any kind over a car....

[motherofmolly]

a car is a major respondsibility. Financial liability is large and can be devastating if she had a car accident and was say drinking. they would come back on the registered owners and the insurance.

your dd needs to learn now not to loan out her car no matter what.

[3timesoccermom]

Every one of you made good points - thanks.

My daughter was just asking me if it was ok and once I said no she told her friend the same so it was no argument with my daughter. She knew, since she still lives at home and we have footed every bill having to do with that car that we had the final say. But I am sure if she were in her own place she'd have said yes and we'd never even have known about it.

Her friend is a great person but just last week somebody "didn't see" one of my other daughters in her red truck and turned right on red, hitting my daughter's vehicle in the passenger side door IN BROAD DAYLIGHT! And she not only had her good friend as a passenger but a service dog in training. Thankfully everyone was ok.


So in addition to it being other drivers we are concerned about, like enginerd said - things are complicated enough. Why ask for more???


Also, what if her friend were stopped for something while in the car - would the officer believe she was just "borrowing" her friend's car?

Thanks all!!