* * * Those with nut-job family members please reply * * *

[3timesoccermom]

I think the title includes just about all of us, doesn't it?

Anyone want to share a story about something one of them has done that is completely incomprehensible??

I have a few but I'm trying to decide which one(s) to put here!!

[ladyspl]

My siggy used to be "Who needs comedies or dramas? I just have to answer the phone when family calls!" Thank God I have been able to distance myself, some, from the circus that is my family! I, too, have so many stories, I wouldn't know which to start with!
My sil fought with me over blood typing! We were in the hospital, visiting my gramma after a compound fracture of the tibia. Due to the significant blood loss, gramma had to receive some additional blood. My mother (*hanging head in shame over this comment) said to gramma, "Mom, now that you have other peoples blood in you, you wont be able to ever get a transplant, if you should need one" WHAT? REALLY? I calmly explained to my mother, that gramma will have only been given the blood type that is a match to hers, or the appropriate donor type. Went right over her head. Fine. Chime in my college-educated-sil, "oh, no. she can get whatever type of blood they have available." WHAT? Again, calmy, I explain if grammas blood type is O, they will give her only O blood! If she is AB they can give her AB, A, B, or O......" We digress a little into what blood types we all are, and determine that my 2 brothers, myself, father and mother are all type O. Cool, nice and easy. Back for round 2, sil says " oh no, Justin (my brother, her husband) has type AB blood" Ummmm no he dont! (side note, all same dad, no switched at birth, or mail mans kid here) Knowing that what she said was impossible, I called her out on it and said "2 O parents CANNOT produce a biological child with AB blood type!"
Wait for it......
Her response....again, a college educated woman!

"Blood typing skips generations"

Needless to say, my daughters will NOT be attending the college she graduated from!

[3timesoccermom]

ladyspl - that is hilarious!!! Thanks for being the first brave one to give us a story.

Well here's a simple one. Years ago when Hubs was still single, he and his (older by 8 years) brother shared a home. When the time came they went and got a Christmas tree which was very tall. Later (soon to be) Hubs left but when he comes back, he finds his brother has cut the tree down to size.

But instead of cutting it off at the bottom the bone-head cuts the top off.

[abond0017]

I'll go!

When I was about 12, my mom went out to a bar and left me and a friend that was sleeping over at home with a sitter. She got home about 2am, fairly intoxicated of course, and decided to wake me and my friend up with high fives and insisted we come out to the backyard where she proceeded to do cartwheels for us. Other times she would stop at red lights and make me get out and do "Chinese fire drills" with her which consisted of me and her running around the car as many times as we could until the light turned green. She was completely sober during the drills, and actually didn't drink much overall...despite what the cartwheel incident might imply. She was just that goofy in general...no alcohol needed for most of her shenanigans. Sad to say I am VERY similar lol! Don't even want to get started on the crazy things I do.

[ladyspl]

Oh my, these are great! Thanks for starting this thread!

I don't know if this one will count as a "smack on the forehead story" or a "oh no she didn't" story, but its definitely one that has people breaking out their football play charts to understand!
My dh's cousin was married, until he cheated. That's not the bad part. The "other woman" was 23 years older than he (35 vs 58)! Granted, she took very good care of herself and you'd give her 48 rather than 58, but still, shes older than his mother. Still not the bad part. Dh's cousin finds herself a new love, amidst the divorce......the 58 yo's SON! Bleh! During this time, cousin gets preggo, hmmmm whose is it? paternity test reveals soon to be ex-husband. So, what does she do? Yup, finishes the divorce, and marries the son! To recap...girl marries son of woman who broke up her marriage, and is now raising ex-hubbys bio child with that son, who takes the child to visit "gramma" (the 58yo) who lives in girls ex-house ($300k+) with girls ex-hubby, the bio dad of said child. My tongue is tied just trying to type this out! Jerry Springer could retire on his own private island, if he got ahold of this story! Worst part is that, it gets worse! Granny adulteress has other kids, 2 girls (well, women, because they are in late 20's early 30's) and both of those women have slept with the ex-hubby too!

Again, my dh and I steer VERY CLEAR of these folks! Our "family get togethers" actually consist of friends we have had for years, who like the quote says "you can pick your friends, but you cannot pick your family"!

[ladyspl]

OMG, I could fill up this whole thread!

SIL strikes again!
A demolition crew was tearing down a building and had put up a 8' chain link fence to protect it. The job was nearly done, with only a hole in the ground, the size of a CVS, left to fill in. The crew had left for the day, and the foreman was finishing up, taking 1 last survey of the area, before closing the gate and leaving.....que SIL....driving along and realizes she forgot something, so needs to turn around. Pulls through the gate, into the construction zone, and drives right down into the 200sf hole! "I just thought it was an entrance to one of those underground parking garages" Thank Jesus the foreman was still there! He had to use one of the heavy machinery trucks to pull her car out of the hole! Darn thing was bent in half! DH and I giggle our butts off reminiscing about this one!

[atcwag]

1. My father began "dating" a woman from the Philippines via the internet before he and my mother were officially divorced. His life completely revolves around her. I picked him up from the airport after his trip to visit her in September of last year. He jumped in my car and said "Well, I'm engaged now." Again, before he and my mother were officially divorced. This day just happened to be the day before my birthday, which no mention was made of. Any conversation I've had with him since somehow comes back to her. My wedding has been affected due to the fact that I put my foot down and said she wasn't welcome, mostly because at that point, he was keeping her a "secret" from everyone, including my mother. The money that he had told me he was giving to help with the wedding also disappeared.
2. My fiance's parents offered to plan, and pay for, our rehearsal dinner. Their idea was the Chinese buffet in town. When I said that this wasn't appropriate, they told my fiance that they were angry with me and that they had made a reservation at a "restaurant with a menu", but are now keeping the whole thing secret.

[3timesoccermom]

My Hubs' maternal grandfather, who I'm sorry to say was a mean old thing, lost money in the depression, like so many others. So, also like others from that generation, he never trusted banks again. So he took to burying his money in jars around his yard. Betcha there are still jars out there.

His wife, Hubs' maternal grandmother and he were not happily married and they kept their money separate from each other. If they would go to the grocery store or someplace where money was spent one of them would say "you owe me for this" or "I paid for that last time." Weird!!

This same grandmother suddenly took up smoking when she was 80 something years old.

abond - your mom sounds fun!! We used to do those Chinese firedrills with a big group of friends. I just remember laughing so hard I could barely run around the vehicle. I would be doubled over laughing and then we would all hurl ourselves into my friend's huge Mercury (forget which model). Fun, fun memories. And some of the time we were sober!

[3timesoccermom]

actwag - Geez, your poor mom and yeah, it's always encouraging to start married life with the in laws mad at you, right? I do hope everything goes great for your wedding.

ladyspl - WOW. Just WOW.

[XUfan]

OK...try to stay with this one:

It starts with my son Matt's SO, Carolyn.

Carolyn has a sister named Amanda...who used to be married to Joe...who is now seeing Angie...who used to be married to Kyle...who is now seeing Stacy...who used to be married to Matt...who is now seeing Carolyn. AND....they all have boys that play football and baseball together!

It's not a triangle!!!! It's circle!!!!!

Not as good as some of your stories...but we get a good laugh out of it!
(Since my son, my ex-DIL and my future-DIL are all part of this...I figure it's "family"!)