Was/Is Your Dad A Better Grandfather Than A Father?

[sns4063]

My dad is awesome. Other kids always loved him and wanted him to go on field trips and stuff. He works super hard and then came home to help us with 4H projects and stuff. With my kids, he's just as awesome. He randomly drives by our house on the way home from work just to see if the kids are outside playing. He bribes the kids to get a popsicle when they are! He's hilarious!

[abond0017]

Yes.

My dad wasn't really around when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, he lived with us. They didn't divorce until I was 12, but even before that I didn't really know him cause he never really interacted with me and was always at work or "running around". He was selfish, wanted a boy, and didn't grow up until I think about 40 yrs old. I remember when my mom would have to work some evenings and he had to stay home with me, he would call it babysitting me. Really? Do you really babysit your own child? He made it sound like I wasn't even his. And when he did "babysit" me, it consisted of me finding some way to occupy myself while he watched TV all night. And he would leave me at home to make a quick run to the store to get himself candy, a coke, and chips....and NOT bring me anything back. Who does that? Eats all the stuff kids love in front of them without even thinking about them. When my parents did divorce...I saw him maybe 3-4 times a year and usually felt like an inconvenience since his girlfriends were really the ones that took care of me when I would visit.

Anyway, enough ranting. His ex fiance's daughter had a little girl and I couldn't believe how different he was with her compared to how he was with me. He dotes on her so much and buys her all kinds of stuff. Such a different person and sometimes it makes me angry that I never experienced having a father like that...but I guess I should just be glad that when I finally have a child I know he will be good to them. And we do have a better relationship now too. He has made a big effort as I have gotten older to get to know me more, and has actually been a better father now than I could have ever thought he was capable from prior experience.

[Chevelle]

Yes.

My dad wasn't really around when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, he lived with us. They didn't divorce until I was 12, but even before that I didn't really know him cause he never really interacted with me and was always at work or "running around". He was selfish, wanted a boy, and didn't grow up until I think about 40 yrs old. I remember when my mom would have to work some evenings and he had to stay home with me, he would call it babysitting me. Really? Do you really babysit your own child? He made it sound like I wasn't even his. And when he did "babysit" me, it consisted of me finding some way to occupy myself while he watched TV all night. And he would leave me at home to make a quick run to the store to get himself candy, a coke, and chips....and NOT bring me anything back. Who does that? Eats all the stuff kids love in front of them without even thinking about them. When my parents did divorce...I saw him maybe 3-4 times a year and usually felt like an inconvenience since his girlfriends were really the ones that took care of me when I would visit.

Anyway, enough ranting. His ex fiance's daughter had a little girl and I couldn't believe how different he was with her compared to how he was with me. He dotes on her so much and buys her all kinds of stuff. Such a different person and sometimes it makes me angry that I never experienced having a father like that...but I guess I should just be glad that when I finally have a child I know he will be good to them. And we do have a better relationship now too. He has made a big effort as I have gotten older to get to know me more, and has actually been a better father now than I could have ever thought he was capable from prior experience.

Wow, I can't even imagine. Babysitting your own child? I'm glad you have a better relationship with him now and know when you have kids they will have a good one with him also. Sometimes I think the light bulb goes on and they realize how short life is and that's when things change but who knows.

DH feels the same way you do. He had a horrible childhood (understatement) which his Mom won't even acknowledge. She adopted 2 kids and gives them everything. It's hard for him.

[Chevelle]

He wont even learn my kids names, yes I am for real he dont know their names...

Seriously, how hard could that be? That's unreal.

[annettenurse]

not sure.
In some ways my Dad was wonderful. In some ways he was ridiculous. Like he was disabled from polio. He did have a farm, but I think he could have done more to help my mom. She worked hard at a factory job for years. He could have kept the house clean & maintained a lot better. When hunting season came around, nothing else mattered.
He was also all about embarrassing us. Like yelling at my sister"go fattie go!" during a church soft ball game. My sister & I weren't really encouraged to play sports "cause we lived so far from town" yet my younger brother(1 yrs younger) played every sport, every year. Really wasn't fair.
But my Dad is very loving also. He & mom favor my sisters kids, so much that I can't defend them to my kids or DH. My sister lives a block away so my kids see the grandparents pass by the house, sometimes every day. Yrs ago I needed a babysitter for my daughter I offered to pay my dad to do it, but he said no. So you can imagine how much it hurts that he has babysat my niece from the day she was born & her brother from his birth also. They are now 11& 8, my sis works weekends, my parents babysit every weekend, a block away from my house. But very rarely stop to see my kids. Actually it really pisses me off.