. . . Poll on Monogamy . . . MEN Please Reply

[3timesoccermom]

Do you believe it's difficult for men to be monogamous because they are still "programmed" to spread their DNA around?

My brother and I were discussing Schwarzenegger and I said I was disgusted by yet another story of a man who "refused to keep it zipped" and how the consequences of his actions are now devastating his family.

My brother's response: "We’ll never get away from the fact that we are not biologically wired to keep it “zipped” for a lifetime.The degree of male faithfulness is often determined by opportunity. And clearly he would have had many opportunities. So if he only did it once or twice, I would say that is pretty good.

To this I say BUNK! I'm not saying people are only attracted to their spouse or SO their entire life but we have evolved and are capable of thinking and choosing whether or not to act on our impulses.

[shelleyf]

I think everyone should be faithful and it is so sad about Maria. I know she must be devastated. I think every man should learn to keep it zipped and sometimes people make mistakes but to hide that secret and have a child for 10 years is a very horrible thing to do. I think honestly is the only way to fix problems to move forward. But for some men no matter if their wife is the best in the world they will still cheat on them and it is so wrong. I don't think cheating on your spouse once or twice is good at all but with counseling it can be worked on but I feel if you love someone you will not be tempted to do those things. But alot of men don't think feelings the same way as a woman and to them it is just fun and and act and it hurts the family. When the woman decides she can't take the pain of what her loved one has done to her and leaves is when the man wakes up and realized he just lost his best friend all in the name of fun and then he is miserable. I wish people would grow up and stay devoted to their families because true love is hard to find.

[lasab]

If all of our decisions were based on our "preprogramming" or being "wired" a particular way, we would all be living like care-men/women. I don't buy it. IMO, being monogamous is a choice. While it may be more difficult for some to make the choice to be committed to one person, we all still have the choice.

This may be a little OT, but sometimes I wonder if the desire to "mess around" has less to do with spreading DNA and more to do with the thrill that one gets from doing something risky.

[jenrose]

If they are preprogrammed to 'spread their DNA around' don't get married and live a single 'playa's' life. If you are commited enough to walk down the aisle you better be commited enough to share your 'member' only with the person you put a ring on!

[3timesoccermom]

I asked my brother to provide proof of his "beliefs" and told him I will show him the poll results in a few days.

I intend to do a little research on this myself. Pffftt.

Even some animals make life-long commitments to each other.

[Smee]

I can kinda sorta buy a biological argument, but I reject any notion that we are powerless victims of it. Anyway, regardless of how anyone is programmed, if a man (for this discussion) struggles with monogamy, he should not make a lifelong promise of monogamy and enter into a marriage contract with that promise. "It's tough being a guy; they just can't help themselves," doesn't work for me. Stay single and play the field all you want or settle down with a partner who shares your views about unavoidable infidelity and is willing to look the other way. I think it's extremely arrogant to suggest that men deserve the benefits and security of a home life and devoted wife and to be able to give in to his so-called uncontrollable urges at the same time because they're hapless victims of biology. Cry me a freakin' river. It's just another example of misogyny.

[Smee]

Hey, ask him if women get the same biological pass if they cheat during ovulation. After all, women are biologically programmed to breed during fertile periods, and their libidos often reflect that. Sorry you were deployed, away on business, or otherwise unavailable, buddy. It's just biology!

[3timesoccermom]

Ha ha! Love it Smee.

[RockyGap]

Seems to me the "other woman" knew at the time Arnie was married and had at least three children but had the fling anyway.Looks like the reason a lot of married men cheat is because certain women have just as low standards as the cheating married men.

I find it hard to believe Maria did not know anything about this.

[3timesoccermom]

I believe the other woman is just as much a dirt bag as Arnie. Maybe even more if the reports that she "pursued him" are true.

But not every woman realizes when it's going on and I truly doubt Maria did. It drives me insane when I see articles say "most women realize it's going on but choose to ignore it." While there are certainly women (and men) who do that, others are COMPLETELY in the dark.

I am glad Maria's parents aren't around to see their daughter and grandkids humiliated in this way.