ill be here as support for you!!!!!
I found this picture to just be wonderful!! It’s so me!! I have been over weight on and off since, I was ten years old. I know… sad huh? Nothing I am proud of that’s for sure, but you first have to admit you have a problem before you can fix what is broken. I am broken! I think I am a lonely eater. I eat when others are not around. I have hidden food and eaten it alone just so that no one would see me eating. I go out to dinner, but I hate to go out. I feel like people are looking at me saying, “WOW do you really need to eat another meal?” Ha! Probably not, but I have always been self-conscious. Maybe because I might be that person saying those things if I was skinny! Shame on me if so! I hate being overweight, I hate having to pay extra money for clothes because I am a PLUS size. I see cute clothes all the time under $10 for skinny “regular” people. I could buy an entire wardrobe of “regular” people clothes for the price of a PLUS sized dress. Yeah, that word makes you feel good too... PLUS … like here is a normal person PLUS part of another person. Do you ever wonder why someone decided that an overweight person should be considered PLUS sized? Was it to make them feel better about themselves or the overweight person to feel worse about themselves? Who knows, but I think it's a good question. How about at a place like Wal-mart in the mens section … anything over an XL add another $2. Once again punished for being overweight. Then again if they are using more material to make bigger clothes I suppose it cost them more, but it makes the consumer feel like they are being robbed, and made fun of at the same time. Maybe that would make an interesting conversation piece at your next dinner party. Ha! Ha! Maybe not…
I have so many goals in life I have not accomplished because I am FAT! I would love to join a sports team, join social groups, and feel comfortable in a swimsuit! Oh God to wear a bikini what a miracle that would be. I want to feel sexy again. I know my husband thinks I am sexy, but heck, I wouldn’t have sex in the day light to save my soul. When I see people who are seriously overweight, or maybe I should say fatter than I am, I always say to myself “Oh God please don’t ever allow me to get that fat”. I often wonder if when people look at me they say the same thing. “WOW please God don’t ever allow me to get as fat as she is.”
My big eye opener was in October. My husband and I went to Las Vegas for our third anniversary. When we got on the plane I tried to buckle up my seatbelt and finally did, but I broke a sweat doing so. It was an embarrassing struggle. I didn’t dare unhook it the entire flight because I knew it wouldn’t ever be buckled again. I was sitting on the isle, so there wouldn’t be disguising that. I was strapped in like a fat salami with no room to breathe. On the return flight I couldn’t get it buckled… not even close. I sat there struggling and struggling. I was starting to have a panic attack and sweating profusely because I couldn’t get it buckled. Oh my! I was humiliated. I was near the window so I just laid it over my lap and kept my arms over it as to not be seen by the flight attendant, much less by my husband. That was a very humiliating experience. I couldn’t have been any more embarrassed than I was at that moment. I sat there for three and a half hours in sheer terror that the flight attend would see my unbuckled seatbelt. Oh gosh! What if she called me out on the carpet on a full plane of people? To be comfortable I needed six more inches on that belt. I want to change my life, lifestyle, and my self-esteem. I want that seat buckle to click together with ease!! I want to feel like a human again. I don’t feel like one right now. I am beyond embarrassed! I am a skinny girl trapped in a chunky body.
My husband and I decided Monday January 4, 2010 would be the first day of the rest of our lives. My husband might need to lose 60lbs…. I need to lose 60+ more! Yeah probably more like I need to lose 140lbs ugh! What a vulgar and disgusting number. Try saying that aloud… even worse try admitting it to yourself or how about the entire world as I am right now. I don’t think the fact that I am overweight is a secret to the world, but I think it has been a secret to me. One of my best friends asked me to be her matron of honor in her wedding. The wedding is in October. My goal is to lose as much weight as possible by that day. The best part is I am (as far as I know) the only person that will be standing next to her that day. Meaning… I can put off buying my dress as long as possible. That being said, I now have a mission to fit in to a dress made for someone more human that I feel. Don’t get me wrong the wedding is not the only reason I am going to make this commitment to myself, but it’s a great incentive.
The reasons I need (want) to lose weight:
1. My health! I come from a long line of people with health problems. I have been very lucky, but I don’t want to test fate.
2. My self-esteem! I am a crazy vibrant person that holds back because of my weight! I know … I know … if you know me you must be thinking wow if she is holding back who really lies beneath those pounds?
3. My family. I want my family to be proud of who I am.
4. I want a baby. I had a miscarriage in March. I often wonder if it was because I am overweight. I decided I wouldn’t try to get pregnant again until I am at a healthy weight to carry a baby. Not only for my safety, but the babies too
5. For me! I want to be who I really am! I am not the fat girl with low self-esteem. I am the skinny, showy, crazy girl that’s currently trapped in a place I want to shed.
I am not delusional! I know that this is going to be a tough battle. One day at a time, and one-step at a time. I also know that there will be times I will mess up, but messing up isn’t my fate, merely a minor setback that can be corrected by just jumping back in the game again. I am a survivor for many reason, but for some reason I have allowed the fat to win. Well fat I have just a few words for you… you have not met the new and improved me who wants to change my life most importantly for me. My goals are to stay focused, go to the gym, and eat right. Oh yeah and yes I did say gym. Conquering one of my greatest fat person fears. It’s funny a gym should be about losing weight and about people who want to lose weight, but I see it as the meat market full of beautiful people. Not the fat regular person like me. The gym has always been a fear. Thank God for my partner in life! My husband will be my partner through this journey too. I am married to a great guy who honestly has no concept of the weight struggle. Yes he needs to lose 60lbs, but to be honest he says 60lbs but that’s pushing it. I think he is saying that to make me feel good about myself. He just doesn’t know that I am more aware of weight loss that he could even imagine. I live with it every day and have for 22 years. He is a former semi pro hockey player, and a nationally ranked tennis player, oh yeah and I can’t forget he was in the army too. He has been thin, trim, and healthy his entire life. God knows why he chose me for a life partner?
So do I have any takers? Who wants to join the cause? Do you have 10 pounds to lose or 100 pounds? I would love to have other people on my journey. It’s easier if you have a support system!!
Check out my Blog! Colie's Kitchen
ill be here as support for you!!!!!
*******May all your stores be filled with tearpads, blinkies and friendly staff****** (credit for my siggy goes to amys ) http://www.hotcouponworld.com/forums...ml#post2734713
I would love to be there for you as well. I have lost about 60 pounds since May of last year and I still have 50 or 60 pounds to go. Have you signed up for sparkpeople? We have just started a group for hcw & ogd members over there, let me know if you would like the link.
I understand about being a skinny person in a fat person's body. I was skinny when I came home from bootcamp but after 4 kids, 4 c sections, 3 knee surgeries, and a hysterectomy the weight just kept coming. I understand the "skinny" hubby part as well. My dh weighs maybe 150 pounds soaking wet while fully dressed. I always felt as if people were staring when we went out together...you know, "look at the skinny dude with the whale".
I also have fought Type II diabetes. As of right now I am controlling it with diet and exercise but I know it's still there in the background.
Make sure to take baby steps. That's how I started. Start drinking more water and less sugar filled drinks. Eat more veggies and lean protein. Please don't go low carb as that can really mess up your body. Eat more meals...just smaller and healthier. As far as exercise have you tried videos at home? I get them from my library that way I have a bigger variety. Try the Walk at home videos by Leslie Sansone, they are pretty good.
Well good luck and we will be here for you every step of the way. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
I'm trying to lose 50!! I'm in !
Your story is me . I was 100 lbs when I got married. I have never been good with diets. Every year its the same story I try them I stop. I am now 130 lbs over weight. My goal is to get to 120 lbs. I have gained a whole person , I am grateful my husband loves me the way I have turned out. I am not happy with the way I look. Nothing I own fits me anymore. I look at food and I gain weight. I am going to start my goals nice and slow however I would like to loose 50 lbs or more this year.We are also going to stop smoking with the new year so I am hoping I can do this. I do not eat all the time, I do drink a lot of pepsi. I have gone to the doctor several times about my weight. everyone this something is wrong because of the rapid weight I have gained.
--- Here is to a new year with new beginnings ---
I will be here to support you , because lord knows I am going to need it myself.
Moncks Corner, SC
I'm with you, sistah! I am so glad your DH is supportive and going through the process with you. I think that really helps. I want to lose weight, too. My goal is 20 pounds by mid-April when I go on a cruise to Hawaii with my mom!
I am just the opposite--underweight my whole life. But my dh and dd struggle and while looking how to help them this past year I found a lot of info at the Mayo Clinic website.
Here is a link for their weight loss philosophy:
Mayo Clinic diet: A weight-loss program for life - MayoClinic.com
And here is a link for their Healthy Weight Pyramid tool:
Mayo Clinic diet: A weight-loss program for life - MayoClinic.com
They base the eating plan on the Food Pyramid. The tool lets you put in your age, weight and sex and if you want to loose or maintain your weight. It then tells you how many calories you will need to do that--but you don't count calories. It shows you how to eat healthy by dividing those calories among the divisions of the food pyramid. So you eat so many carb servings, so many veggie servings, etc. There are a few pages you can print out that have lists of servings of each of these (like there will be20 to 30 protein items listed and the size of serving). So what I did was take these and made spread sheets with daily meals and snacks on them breaking up the types of food throughout the day. I put down breakfast and lunches exactly (like bowel of cereal, milk and fruit; chicken sandwich, carrot sticks, etc) and then put dinner with the leftovers like: 2 meats, 4 carbs, 3 veggies, 1 fruit--so whatever was being served could fit in.
They even allow 75 calories of sweets a day.
Since my dh and dd didn't need to loose a lot (like 20 and 7 only) cutting the calories as much as they said seemed a bit rash so we went halfway between maintenance and weight loss and they have lost steadily 1/2 to 3/4 pound a week. They had already been exercising so they haven't increased their activity level.
Oh, and I read an article by a professional trainer who said to be very, very strict for the first 21 days for your body to learn to function properly loosing weight and then you could have a splurge meal. But if you splurge before that it will mess up your metabolism. He then said once you are on the road to loosing you can splurge at a meal once a week.
I hope there is something in here that will help you on your journey. And wish you the best. You are an amazing communicator--a very interesting post to read. Keep us posted how you do.
I'm in too!!! I really need to lose about 55lbs to be around my goal weight, but I would be so happy with 40 even!!
I really need the support and motivation too! I am thinking of trying ww again, but not sure..
Im so stealing that picture for my blog! Love it!
You can do it and people here are great they will help you!
Ive been slowly changing things for months but now its time to get busy and really get strict and get it done.
If you ever need an ear feel free to PM me!! Good luck!
ETA I also need to lose 140+ so dont feel bad your not alone!! There I put it out there for the world to see too!
Im using the bodybugg I got for Christmas and just counting calories in and out. As PP mentioned I do think its good to be strict for a while. Im doing the fat smash detox again for 9 days. I always do it again after I have splurged or went off plan for a week or more.
It helps focus me and clean my body of addictions and cravings.
I normally dont make it the entire 9 days and find my groove back to a normal low cal eating within a few days but then I screw up again so Im stayiong strict detox for 9 days and then I have my entire menu planned for the month of Jan. so Im ready!
Sig referral removed due to expiration of Hot Entrepreneur status.
Hey Hbaqueen...do you like your bodybug? Is it worth it?