Toddler, Delays, and Therapists

[jen276here]

This is LOOOONG!


DS#3 is 25 mths and doesn't speak much. He has a pretty cool vocabulary actually, but it is limited (He says 'I'll get it' 'Thanks' 'Daddy' All done/gone' 'Spongebob' and 'I'll do it'). He understands everything I say, follows directions, etc, so I'm not worried there. Hearing tests say he's fine and so forth. The Doc doesn't seem concerned either. I had him in a tracking program since birth though since he was an NICU baby. They suggested an eval because of his limited speech. So I go for the eval, they send a occupational therapist, a developmentalist, and a speech therapist. We do the whole thing, they score him and decide he needs all three. He is meeting and exceeding all his milestones except speech, but they said all threee will work together to get him talking. I told them right away I didn't agree w/ the OT or the Develop but would give it a go because what will it hurt, kwim?

So skip forward a few weeks now. We have seen all several times and I am really not liking the OT or Develop. They bring new toys he has never seen in, give them to him, and expect him to perform a specific task with them, give them back and move on. He's 2. He gets upset because he wants to explore the toy, since it is new to him, then he wants to figure it out himself. They want to hold half and make him bring the other to them (ie - a puzzle - he wants to put it on his table then put it together. They want to hold it and have him put the pieces in). He gets flustered because of this. Then they ask me to make him do it by doing the hand over hand w/ him, which her really doesn't like because he is being 'forced' to play. So he gets upset because not only can he not explore the toy, I am suppose to force him to sit on my lap and force his hand w/ the toy to the objective…. Then they take the toy away. The other day it was a Mr Potato Head - he has never seen one before. She gave him two pieces, didn't give me a chance to even look at them, held the spud herself, when he wanted to look at it, and expected him to know that the ear gets shoved into one of the holes - She didn't even show him this and I did tell her he doesn't own one nor has he played w/ one - but somehow he was instantly expected to know what to do….

When I give my son toys, I let him explore them. I let him figure what he can out then I show him the intended play for them (ie shapes go into the openings or puzzle pieces in their spots, etc). He takes the cue then has at it on his own. I never expect him to just 'know' what to do or to play w/ it only a specific way. And I certainly don't expect him to be okay w/ me forcing him to play…... The Develp told me the other day he needs to learn to play 'properly' with his toys and shouldn't just line cars up or use his train tracks as drum sticks. I told her that I didn't realize it was a developmental issue for a child to see other uses in things and as long as he is not throwing them or being destructive I personally thought he was being darn creative!

I don't understand the tactics being used and how they are helping him talk. All I see is them upsetting him to the point he cries and becomes terribly uncooperative. To which last week one asked me to 'just do what you need to do to calm him down so we can continue'…. Um you tortured him for the last 45min and you want me to just settle him in a minute? Kiddo wants you out the door! Also, they all keep telling me they are going to make him mad and he is going to cry a lot, but it will eventually get better….. ummm….These are the only tactics that are proven to reach the goal??? I hope not!!!

I like the speech therapist, but just wish we had more time w/ her as she is making progress w/ him and her tactics are very different. We are limited to one day a week though...

So does anyone have experience w/ a child who is meeting or exceeding milestones but has been recommended a therapist anyway and with a therapist who uses these tactics?

I have appts for the next three days and I'm compiling a list of questions so I can reevaluate for myself our needs for these three therapists. I personally don't feel these tactics are in line w/ my beliefs and goals in raising my son and am beginning to wonder if the suggestion for three therapists had ulterior motives because if he is meeting/exceeding all other milestones, I don't understand. Not to mention - all this 'need' was determined by very vague questions and 2 hours of three people interacting w/ him at once….

[queenofthehivemomof5]

Your the mom, if you don't think your son needs the other two therapists then drop them like a bad habit and just stay on with the speech.

Sometimes I think they try to push you into things you don't need for whatever reasons (money?)

Are these therapies based on a recommendation from your pediatrician or someone else. And have you had a chance to sit down with the team to express your concerns.

Ultimately however it is your child and you need to do what you feel is right for him. I think those tactics with a 2 year old old is a bit odd.

[CW&M Mom]

I'd ask that the speech therapist only come for a few weeks...that your worried about some of the behavior your seeing from him (because he's upset over not getting to play with the toys)..and want to see how he does just with the speech therapy.

IMO..as a mom who has a 26 month old... I would say he definitely needs to be speaking more. Since often toddlers only master one thing at a time...that is where I would focus. My daughter is in speech therapy..and what really helped was actually signing with her. We got baby signing time video's and watch them all the time. She's been in it since about 18 months. She progressed quite quickly...honestly the reason we still have speech therapy is she's a horrid eater..and they are working on that now. Her pronunciation isn't the best...and we may need to address that in about 6 months if it doesn't improve... as well.


I got the baby signing time dvd's online. They aren't really cheap...but they are absolutely excellent..and my older kids like watching them as well.



I almost wonder if why they are stressed over how he is playing with toys...is for instance...the lining up of cars instead of going around vroom vroom..."can" be a sign of Autism. That being said...my son does it all the time...and he's not autistic.


after a few weeks of just doing the speech...I think I would decide do I need to skip the OT and developmental stuff...or do I just need to find someone different. Most of my internet friends have children in therapy...and they have no qualms about firing one they don't like.

[jen276here]

I actually just got their full eval in the mail mid last week but hadn't had the opportunity to read over all 30+ pages until tonight. There are so many errors in it!

Just some examples:

It said he loves to have cheerios and bananas for breakfast then goes on to say he hates watermelon, bananas, apples, and pears…. Which is untrue (besides the fact they really did say he ate bananas then later said he hated them..) - I told them he eats bananas, apples, and pears routinely. Then later when discussing things he doesn't like I said watermelon.

It said he gets upset when the daily routine is disrupted and then in the very next sentence it says he has no firm daily routine. I told them we do not have a firm routine and things do change daily. I never said anything about him getting upset w/ disrupting his non-routine….

It says he tunes out when there is too much noise in the house - I said, in my answer concerning what goes on when my other sons are home, that it is noisy w/ them and their friends around and DS#3 just ignores them and does his own thing - He knows they're there, says hi and then goes about his own thing.

Ugh….

[CW&M Mom]

Did they have you fill out any kind of evaluation's on him?

We've done a sensory profile. A developmental evaluation. A list of all the words my DD was saying (they had them in groups) a list of all the things she would eat...ect. (the eating and talking)I kept and added to each week.

Did they do a denver screening on him? Developmental Screening Tools


the ages and stages and the denver we've had done.

[jen276here]

Did they have you fill out any kind of evaluation's on him?

We've done a sensory profile. A developmental evaluation. A list of all the words my DD was saying (they had them in groups) a list of all the things she would eat...ect. (the eating and talking)I kept and added to each week.

Did they do a denver screening on him? Developmental Screening Tools


the ages and stages and the denver we've had done.

We did the Age&StageQ, the Batelle Development Inventory, a sensory profile w/ the general observation session

[FunnyFace]

Jen, I've heard you talk about your cutie pie multiple times in just general conversation and personally, I wouldn't be concerned. Even after reading this, he sounds like a perfectly developed and adjusted two year old.

His lack of talking doesn't even concern me because I know several younger siblings that just decided not to talk a lot until they were older. Sometimes it's because they don't want nor do they have to say a lot to get what they want and have a happy day.

I honestly think speech and developmental therapy is pushed way too much or incorrectly in today's society. I can speak from personal experience with one of my own as well. You know your child best, but I'd highly recommend giving him another year without any therapy. If you are not comfortable doing so, then just speech is more than enough imo. You get to choose, he's your child not theirs no matter what type of degree they carry.

[gatosqueak]

I'm a social worker with special need kiddos (evaluated for a state program yearly). I would check into some parenting sites for kids with special needs- which can be anything from cerebral palsy to speech delay. :)

For example: Parent to Parent USA

If you're concerned for any special need, no matter how minor, might help to be in contact with these parent centered organizations so you can get more input.

[jen276here]

Jen, I've heard you talk about your cutie pie multiple times in just general conversation and personally, I wouldn't be concerned. Even after reading this, he sounds like a perfectly developed and adjusted two year old.

His lack of talking doesn't even concern me because I know several younger siblings that just decided not to talk a lot until they were older. Sometimes it's because they don't want nor do they have to say a lot to get what they want and have a happy day.

I honestly think speech and developmental therapy is pushed way too much or incorrectly in today's society. I can speak from personal experience with one of my own as well. You know your child best, but I'd highly recommend giving him another year without any therapy. If you are not comfortable doing so, then just speech is more than enough imo. You get to choose, he's your child not theirs no matter what type of degree they carry.

I usually tend to agree that some things are really just unnecessary and kids need an opportunity to just be themselves w/o being forced into what is considered 'typical' 'normal' or whatever else. I have no clue why I am worried w/ DS

I decided to forego the OT and DT (DT was not happy and I could tell she thought I was questioning her because she started giving me her resume …) I am keeping the ST for the time being. He likes her and she interacts w/ him well. I figure I will see what happens. He is already talking more, but I don't know if it is coincidence or if it has to do w/ the 3 sessions he's had w/ ST.


I did speak to the coordinator and gave her my concerns about the incorrect info on the eval and she is coming out to go over it with me, but said they cannot go in and correct it, but they could add notes to explain there were errors. It doesn't matter to me, just want to point out all the errors and that more care really needs to be taken to get correct info the first time around.

[FunnyFace]

... (DT was not happy and I could tell she thought I was questioning her because she started giving me her resume …)

What a shock!

I am keeping the ST for the time being. He likes her and she interacts w/ him well. I figure I will see what happens. He is already talking more, but I don't know if it is coincidence or if it has to do w/ the 3 sessions he's had w/ ST.

... just want to point out all the errors and that more care really needs to be taken to get correct info the first time around.

Absolutely!

Not that you need my affirmation or that I'm special, lol, but I think you have made some great decisions.