FB Dad "disciplining" daughter via viral video - what do you think?

[PHmom]

I'm going to go ahead and post this here since it will probably end up heated.

Have you all seen the viral video going around where the dad responds to what his 15 year old daughter posted on FB? If so, what do you think?

I have seen many responses so far and most of them are in the "good for him" category. Me, I guess I look at it differently (and, yes, I understand that I might get flamed for this) - here's why:

She's 15 - when I was that age, I probably said everything she said in her letter, some of it almost word for word. The difference? I didn't have access to anything public like Facebook so I just vented to my friends. My parents had no idea I was complaining about them (well, I'm sure they knew I did - lol - but they never heard it). My mom used to even tell me "if you're mad at me, go in your room and yell into your pillow - just don't disrespect me to my face". And I grew up to be a responsible adult, sometimes we all need to vent.

I don't think he's proving a point at all about not going on FB to talk about your family by doing the exact same thing to her. She at least set hers to private so only certain people could see it - he is broadcasting his to the whole world.

He is belittling her in such a way that she will probably never talk to him about anything for the rest of her life, IMO. Someone who didn't care for his methods commented that she should probably be watched over the next few weeks for signs that she might commit suicide and I agree - I cannot imagine having my dad do something like that to me at age 15 - I am sure it really does feel like the end of the world to her.

And, as far as him calling her lazy b/c she doesn't have a job - let me refer back to the fact that she is 15 - I know there are jobs out there for 15 year olds but they are few and far between.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do think that many kids today feel entitled and every single day at work I see at least one case where a child really needs to be disciplined and is not (kids telling their parents "let's go NOW!" while a parent is talking to another adult and the kid is told "okay, I'm coming" - um, no, not in my house - lol) but do I think this child is a "total brat" and a "selfish little b&*@#" as I have seen her called? Um, no, I honestly think she is a 15 year old girl who was venting about feeling like she has too much to do. Maybe she shouldn't have cursed and she definitely shouldn't have posted it on FB but she didn't say anything many many of us didn't say or at least think at age 15.

All this being said, I realize I am basing this solely on what I saw - maybe there is a LOT more to this story (from either side) and maybe this girl is truly a holy terror to her family. But (again strictly based on what I saw) I really think this dad is totally overreacting and possibly ruining his relationship with his daughter for life.

[Crzyqponldy]

Hmm, I seen this video this morning. DH and I had a huge talk about it. Well, I can see his point in a way, due to the fact she has already been in trouble once about this. But then again, I believe the way he went about it and put it all over the net for everyone to see was wrong. I have a teenager. She is 17. She has a job, but didn't acquire one til this year. She has her attitude about chores. We all did at that age. But she still does them. She is expected to load/unload the dishwasher daily and her room is to be cleaned and she has to do her own laundry. I did her laundry, up until about June of last year, when I got sick of her bringing me 2 weeks worth of clothes, and I was stuck washing for 2 days straight. So, if she would bring it to me weekly, I wouldn't mind. But she can't understand that.

I can see his point of her not respecting him or her family saying some of those things. But I believe the form of punishment was totally wrong. I do believe he has ruined his relationship with her. I can't imagine what she is going through at school. I mean the parents see this, I know they show the kids, the next day in school must be a nightmare for her. I truly believe he has done more damage by this. Kids are not what they used to be when we went to school. Crap, my daughter brought home a D on her report card, DH took her phone, and I seen for myself a kid making fun of her a couple days later on her facebook/twitter for her parents treating her like a baby and taking her phone.

Maybe this girl is a little terror. But still I don't believe this form of punishment was the way to go about it. We all vent to someone, either social media, co-workers, friends.. I am sure the father has vented to someone in some shape or form. And we all know that kids and adult retaliate, and I really hope what he did doesn't cause her to run away or do something that will harm herself or others. You just never know what actually can go through someone's mind. It's sad.

[aimeebee]

If you need to threaten to use a deadly weapon in an effort to get your child to behave right; YOU have lost ALL control as a parent. What is this guy teaching his daughter? So childish!! Don't be outdone by your teen...anything she can do wrong, he can do it worse and with a gun. She was wrong to bad mouth her parents, venting to her friends on FB. He was worse to broadcast it to the entire world publicly on FB and youtube. He NEVER should have threatened to put a bullet in her laptop. Following through with that nonsense makes him a lunatic with a gun. I bet he feels big and bad. Dude, if you need a gun to man up, you are pathetic. Be the adult, earn her respect without the weapon, and take some anger management classes. Find a way to take out your aggression that doesn't involve destruction of property or a deadly weapon.

The girls behavior was disrespectful, inappropriate, horrible. But she needles direction and discipline not violence and vigilanteism.

[Katane]

If you ask me he did exactly what he yelled at her for doing. Disrespecting a family member on a public forum and using facebook to vent his irritation with a family member. Kids are gonna vent. I don't see anything that bad with it.

It bugs me that he wasted all that money on the software he just put on the computer and the computer itself. If he didn't want her to have it, why not give it away or sell it rather than destroy it.

Plus people who lose their temper and have a gun scare me.

[mom2lucas]

I saw it this morning too. To me, I think he shot the laptop because he TOLD her he would. He didn't want to make a liar of himself, and she was told that would be the consequences. We're big on the follow-through with our kids... if we say it it WILL come to pass. That being said, I don't think I'd ever tell my kid I was going to SHOOT something of theirs to prove a point. I have told them to pick up their toys, or I would throw them away. I have had to toss about 2 toys total, and they got the message. Of course, they're 3 and 5 and not a teenager.

I was on the guy's Facebook page earlier, and he said the local cops and CPS were interviewing his family due to the video. He also said they refuse to be on any talkshows, radio shows, or mini series. He was just a parent doing what he said he would do. Maybe he shouldn't have picked "put a bullet through the laptop" as a punishment, but he did and he followed through.

[CW&M Mom]

If you need to threaten to use a deadly weapon in an effort to get your child to behave right; YOU have lost ALL control as a parent. What is this guy teaching his daughter? So childish!!


Following through with that nonsense makes him a lunatic with a gun.
.

If you ask me he did exactly what he yelled at her for doing. Disrespecting a family member on a public forum and using facebook to vent his irritation with a family member. Kids are gonna vent. I don't see anything that bad with it.

It bugs me that he wasted all that money on the software he just put on the computer and the computer itself. If he didn't want her to have it, why not give it away or sell it rather than destroy it.

Plus people who lose their temper and have a gun scare me.

Exactly!!!! And we wonder why she has issues

[clippyclippy]

My guess is that he saw an opportunity to have his 15 minutes of whatever and ran with it. He's probably laughing to himself now over how clever he was...

In the meantime, he has a humiliated daughter who has just learned a "Do as I say, not as I do lesson" and has lost the opportunity he might have had to teach her a valuable lesson with love and and respect.

Don't get me wrong - she needed discipline, but this fellow will not see anything but anger and more frustration in return.

There is a specific scripture that speaks to fathers not provoking their children, I won't quote it here, but it came to my mind.

And he mentioned the mom wanted a bullet for her. Not much hope there either. Sad.

[Gnorga]

poor girl :(

[jenn09138]

I think what the daughter did was very disrespectful, if you have a problem with your parents you need to sit down and talk to them. But obviously he doesn't seem like someone who can be talked to calmly and rationally.
Sadly in this day and age it's not a real shocker that she went to facebook to vent tho.

No matter what she did or said though her father should have realized that he is the parent and he needed to act like it.
I would never do something like this to my kids, all it does is teach them that this BS is ok!

[Smee]

I think he's probably a big blow-hard, and I don't think it was a stellar parenting moment, but I am not appalled nor am I feeling extremely sympathetic for the girl.