Coffee Talk Round 4. Topic: SAHM versus career.

[ScrappyDoo]

Tonight's topic is staying home with your kids versus having a career.

Talk amongst yourselves.


Are you a Stay At Home Mom/Man (dad doesn't start with a "M")?

Why did you choose or not choose to stay at home?

Do you think it is better for the kids to have at least one parent home with them most of the time?

Did your parents both work outside the home? Did this influence your decision?

[IntoTheMystic]

OOOHHHHH, this topic might get ugly...but I'll dive in anyway.

Are you a Stay At Home Mom/Man (dad doesn't start with a "M")? Nope, I am a career gal.

Why did you choose or not choose to stay at home? Originally I went to work out of financial necessity. (I stayed home for the 1st 10 months with both boys.) I switched careers (advertising to teaching), and now I love what I do. Both of my children are in school now, but if I had another child, I would still go back to work.

Do you think it is better for the kids to have at least one parent home with them most of the time? I think it depends on the quality of the parenting they receive. My SIL took care of both of my boys, and I couldn't/wouldn't have done it without her. My DH and I probably would have done opposite shifts if it wasn't for her.

Did your parents both work outside the home? Yes, my mother was a single-mother of 6 children. She worked- a lot.
Did this influence your decision? No. My feminist views influenced my decision :) For me, a career is the right choice for my family.

[momof2inohio]

Are you a Stay At Home Mom/Man (dad doesn't start with a "M")? I consider myself a SAHM although I do work for a few hours on Tues. and Thurs. at my Dad's company while my kids are in school. When they were little I did the same and my MIL watched the kids for a few hours those 2 days. Right now I am working a little bit more due to the holidays coming up just to make a little extra money.

Why did you choose or not choose to stay at home? I love being home with my kids. I am finishing my college degree so that when they are older I will have a career. No offense but I cannot see myself as being a "housewife" once the kids leave the nest.

Do you think it is better for the kids to have at least one parent home with them most of the time? It depends. There are SAHM's that do nothing all day but sit on the computer and don't pay any attention to their kids and there are working moms who spend actual quality time with their kids.

Did your parents both work outside the home? Did this influence your decision? My mom started working when I was about 15. She was home until then.

[bigsweetie]

Are you a Stay At Home Mom? Yes

Why did you choose or not choose to stay at home? I've always wanted to be a SAHM, even as a little girl. I do have a Bachelor's degree, but I knew once I got married and had kids I'd be staying home. Personally, I couldn't imagine having a child and then only seeing them for a few hours/day and on weekends. I just want to be here for all of it. They grow up so fast!

Do you think it is better for the kids to have at least one parent home with them most of the time?I know I'll get flamed for this, but yes. Of course, it depends on the parent. and also the finances.


Did your parents both work outside the home? My mom stayed at home most of my youth. I loved the time she spent playing with me, and also that she was a "room-mom" every year in elementary school. I remember some of my friends being jealous that my mom was always there, and there's weren't. That stuck with me to this day!

Just yesterday confirmed why I stay home. My oldest daughter lost her first tooth at school, during lunch. She accidentally swallowed it. She was hysterical! The school called me and I was there in less than 5 min. just to console her and get her calmed down. I could have done it from an office over the phone, but I wanted to hold her in my arms. She would've been fine if I'd not been able to come, but I'm so glad I was able to be there for her when she needed me. If I'd been at work I would've worried about her the rest of the day.

Personally, I think kids have to grow up too fast these days. They're shuffled from daycare to school to latchkey. I know it's not everyone's choice and finances often dictate these things. I just wish more people could afford to stay home. I know a lot of working moms who have to shuffle sick kids to babysitters so they can make it to work, or have to scramble for childcare when there's a snow day. Some of these kids have to get up at 6am, sick or not, and are carted all over town and their day doesn't end til 6pm when they're finally back home.

I will say I DO have a lot of respect for working moms though. They do their absolute best and the time they spend with their kids is generally quality time. Mine is a mix. 100% of my day isn't doating over my kids. I do clean the house occassionally! And sometimes being a SAHM can wear me out and they don't get the best I have to offer.

We all do our best and in the long run the kids are fine either way.