School wants us to admit my 6 year old son to a psychiatric hospital

[AmyRD]

I am at a loss on how to handle this. My 6 year old ds is in first grade. He was in half day kindergarten so this has been an adjustment. He has been acting up a lot there an disrupting his classroom and with being unable to stay focused on anything for very long. We went in for a meeting with his teacher, principal and guidance counselor 3 weeks ago to discuss his behavior. They recommended we have him evaluated to see what is going on. We agreed and signed a release to let them set up to have him seen by a mental health group to evaluate and diagnose his behavior. They never said ADHD but I know they were thinking it and so are we. It took awhile to get an appt to start the process.

Meanwhile a few days after our meeting he told his teacher he is evil, has no heart and hates his life. The morning he said that the called my cell phone and I missed the call because I was in a store with no cell reception and my dh was in the basement and did not hear the phone ring. Within a half hour from the call they showed up at our house. 10 minutes after they got here I got home. They told us our ds was in crisis and they strongly advised we take him to a psych hospital ER to be seen faster. We were reluctant to take such a drastic measure but felt like we had no choice. It is a large psych hospital and the ER is in a locked ward with adults and children all in the same waiting area. After 6 hours we finally saw the psychiatrist. He basically felt the school over reacted and recommended we continue the process with the schools mental health Doctors to evaluate him. He said it appears he does have ADHD but would need a thorough evaluation to diagnose. He also asked what led him to say those things and we told him he had just been punished and told he would have no recess that day because he was running around the room. Dr said it is normal for a child to say unreasonable things when being punished and upset just like how kids tell you "I hate you" to their parents after being punished. He set us up with an appt to see someone there in case the group that works with the school could not get him in sooner.

The mental health group that works with the school called me the next day and asked me to meet them at the school last Friday to start the evaluation. I went and answered their questions about all this and they met with my ds with me in the room also. He kept telling him he gets upset because he gets in trouble so much at school and cannot stop himself from doing these things like run around the room, talk without raising his hand, not pay attention, ect. Again, really looking like he has ADHD. They then scheduled an appt for us to see their psychiatrist on 10/24.

I got a call yesterday from his school at 4:30 to come up to see some drawings he made. The guidance counselor, principle and superintendent was there. They had brought him in to talk with the guidance counselor about his feelings and draw pictures. I then find out they have been doing this every day. The pictures were of his classmates and a bomb dropping out of an airplane on them. Another of his family including his grandpas buried in the ground. (he never met my dad but my FIL passed away when he was 4) Another was his school and how sad he is for always getting in trouble and the other kids telling on him. He likes to go bowling and made a picture of his classmates being bowling pins and him knocking them down. They wanted me to sign a release so they could get a crisis group from our county to see him today. My dh was not there so I told them I had to talk to him first.

We both do not think we want to do this and want to wait for his appt on the 24th. My dh called the school and left a message that we want to research this crisis group and decide what is best for our family on dealing with this. I got a call from the school later telling me we need to take our ds right away to a different psych hospital from the first one and this one is only for kids and have him committed for a couple days. We then got a call from the group already seeing him that they moved up his appt with the psychiatrist to the 10th.

We really do not think it is necessary to have a 6 year old committed. This just seems so crazy and dramatic. We are not ignoring what is happening and ARE getting him help. He is happy at home but does not like school. I know he needs help and we are getting it. They keep pushing and pushing us to take these drastic measures. He is only 6 for crying out loud!! It would be so traumatic on him to commit him. If he was older I would consider it. We realize he does have feelings that he needs help with but commit him?? We are just at a loss on how to handle his school with all this??

[momof2inohio]

Sorry you are going through all of this. I don't think it sounds like ADHD. He could have that but there is definitely something more serious going on. It is NOT normal for a child to be saying such things and drawing pictures like that even if they are mad or have been punished. Sounds like mental health issues. If I was the parent I would not want my child to be commited either but I would get all the help I could and keep on top of it.

My MIL works as a sub and works mainly with special needs children. There have been a few she has worked with that have become very violent and had to be pulled out of school. She has been hit, one girl said she was going to kill her and she has also had chairs and other objects thrown at her.

[Jen1]

what county are you in, may I ask?

It does sound like your 6 year old needs some help, but I wouldn't go for the committing of him anywhere. Also, make sure you are present whenever consulers are speaking with him. He is 6, afterall.

[blossomed]

My heart aches for you.

My first gut reaction is he is being bullied (I use this as an all encompassing word) at school. Kids can be cruel. Do you have any friends that have older sons at the school - he needs a friend/role model to help him deal. Martial arts has such a nice zen take care of yourself mentality that might be a good option.

What does he say to you when you talk to him? Anyone else he is tight with that might get him to open up?

Those voices in our heads can be very powerful.

I would do everything in your power to not commit him!! EVERYTHING.

[clippyclippy]

I'd be very uncomfortable with how the school is reacting to this. I think you should independently seek some counseling for your son, and as a family handle this. The school could very well be encouraging this behavior simply by giving him lots of attention over it.

I'm shocked that they would take him into the office and have him being evaluated by the guidance counselor without your knowledge.

So yes, get your son evaluated, I wouldn't ignore these things he is communicating.

But don't allow them to do something as drastic as committing him to a psychiatric facility! I think that would do more harm than good. Taking him to an adult psychiatric ER is inappropriate, IMO, for what you describe. I think that should be reserved for someone who is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others. For a 6 yo, that could be very traumatic.

It may be ADHD. If so, there are more ways of managing that then just a prescription. Hopefully you will find someone who is experienced in more than just a medical approach.

[AmyRD]

what county are you in, may I ask?

It does sound like your 6 year old needs some help, but I wouldn't go for the committing of him anywhere. Also, make sure you are present whenever consulers are speaking with him. He is 6, afterall.

I would rather not say the county but we in the western side of the state.

I agree he needs help but we are getting it. If the psychiatrist we see in 10 days thinks he needs a hospital stay then I am ok with it. I am just tired of the school deciding what we need to do when they are not qualified. We already took him to one already because they pushed us. And I was not happy they showed up at our house at 9:30am instead of waiting for a return call from us.

The guidance counselor talks to him without us every day and has him draw pictures on how he feels. I am not comfortable about it because I don't know what she says to him.

I agree there is a psych issue and will do everything to help him but we will ONLY do what a psychiatrist recommends from now on.

[Honey101]

Wow, it sounds like you and your husband have really been dealing with a lot.
Trust your instincts. Do not let anyone tell you what to do. Everyone has their own agenda, fears and insecurities and it sounds like they are reacting to them. Yes, there is a reason your son is acting out but at 6 years old, committing him to a Psych hospital? What? Stick with what you know.
I also suggest having his nutrition checked. I know that sounds funny but I am serious. I don't know about you but I have certainly said and done some unusual things at times when I was deficient in something, ie sleep, minerals, hormones, whatever. There was a time when I could not sleep and I was raging all the time. I did some research and found some information about magnesium deficiency. I started taking magnesium and my sleep was restored and the raging stopped.
All I am saying is maybe the answer is not what it looks like and thinking outside the box is an idea to consider. I am not sure what these people think a 6 year old can do nor what they consider the "emergency" is but just remember that once something is "suggested" others seem to follow suit.
Good and blessings to you all.

[AmyRD]

Thank you for validating one concern we have. We also feel he is being prompted too much by the school which is leading to some behaviors. I agree they are going overboard and he is feeding off the attention.

But please know we do think he needs help because there are feelings he needs help with but I think them asking him over and over again about it is too much. Oh, and he does not eat while at school either but eats at home fine. He just gets so upset and down on himself at school that it breaks my heart. But once he is home he is my loving happy boy.

I'd be very uncomfortable with how the school is reacting to this. I think you should independently seek some counseling for your son, and as a family handle this. The school could very well be encouraging this behavior simply by giving him lots of attention over it.

I'm shocked that they would take him into the office and have him being evaluated by the guidance counselor without your knowledge.

So yes, get your son evaluated, I wouldn't ignore these things he is communicating.

But don't allow them to do something as drastic as committing him to a psychiatric facility! I think that would do more harm than good. Taking him to an adult psychiatric ER is inappropriate, IMO, for what you describe. I think that should be reserved for someone who is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others. For a 6 yo, that could be very traumatic.

It may be ADHD. If so, there are more ways of managing that then just a prescription. Hopefully you will find someone who is experienced in more than just a medical approach.

[Honey101]

The guidance counselor talks to him without us every day and has him draw pictures on how he feels. I am not comfortable about it because I don't know what she says to him.

I have dealt with this before. Insist that they do not talk with him at school. If you are uncomfortable with it because you do not know what she says to him, you are right. Suggestion is a powerful thing!
I have had to deal with counselors and therapists at the school who thought they knew it all. They don't and they have no right to interrogate your son. He's 6!!!!!

[momof2inohio]

Wow, it sounds like you and your husband have really been dealing with a lot.
Trust your instincts. Do not let anyone tell you what to do. Everyone has their own agenda, fears and insecurities and it sounds like they are reacting to them. Yes, there is a reason your son is acting out but at 6 years old, committing him to a Psych hospital? What? Stick with what you know.
I also suggest having his nutrition checked. I know that sounds funny but I am serious. I don't know about you but I have certainly said and done some unusual things at times when I was deficient in something, ie sleep, minerals, hormones, whatever. There was a time when I could not sleep and I was raging all the time. I did some research and found some information about magnesium deficiency. I started taking magnesium and my sleep was restored and the raging stopped.
All I am saying is maybe the answer is not what it looks like and thinking outside the box is an idea to consider. I am not sure what these people think a 6 year old can do nor what they consider the "emergency" is but just remember that once something is "suggested" others seem to follow suit.
Good and blessings to you all.

Even a 6 year old can be a danger to themselves and others. I know someone who had to put her 6 year old in a rehabilitation facility for a while. They tried everything they could. They took him to a psychiatrist, psychologist, worked with him. He started out with making threats to students at his school and then gradually got worse. He chased his siblings with knives, broke him own bed. They had to have him locked in his room at night with nothing in his room so he couldn't hurt anyone or the other family members. At this poing they had to put him in a facility to help him. Very sad situation and I am sure this is nothing like the OPs son but little kids can be very dangerous even though it doesn't seem possible