violation of my privacy ugh.. i just want his drama to go far away ( long and graphic)

[angeleyeza]

as most of you know me and the ex have been split up. for a month plus now its been unbelievable at what and how a man can make you feel and see the true side of him.

he tries to run my life even though he doesnt live here. Telling me who i can and cant have at my house. wtf.. he has even tried accusing me of having sex with ppl.. wow wish i could remember .

we have a family plan for our cell phones but i dont believe its f*cking right that he goes into my acct and checks out who i talk to and for how long.. wtf! Then he took my phone records over to a friends and started crap with them just because im FRIENDS with him. nothing more. FRIENDS. god forbid i have FRIENDS>.. UGH>>

Then he tells me he is going to make my life miserable.. lovely what else is new every time i see you my life is miserable..

Then here is a lovely one.. I posted a status shuffle on my Facebook. and His boys went under there mothers account and spy'd on my acct i made a post with no names or anything and another person wrote his name out and basically said he was a POS. so he flippin calls me. I told him i did NOT say he was a bad dad i didnt even post any names or anything wtf. Then he *****es because i didnt stick up for him.. ugh.. so i said **$$##@$^ it and deleted the post here to find out he had a print out at work on friday SHOWING everyone WTF dude violation of my privacy here .. wth is he thinking.. im gonna ask the judge on thursday how he got that print out since him and all 3 his boys are BLOCKED on my acct. hacking is not a good thing buddy. also goes against the privacy policy for facebook..he must not be able to read..

here is another thing.. lovely gesture.. its been over a month and you live either out of your car , at a friends house or a hotel room.. wth ! he has had OVER a month to find a apartment.

the custody hearing is on thurdsay i cant wait to meet the masters and sit there in the oval office be all chill and watch mr daddy show his true colors when i tell the judge everything he has done. I have been nothing but nice and generous letting him have visits with his daughter whenever its convienant for him. then he decideds he doesnt want to take the oldest daughter because she isnt his but yet for 5 yrs she has called him dad.. THATS NOT RIGHT.. ugh..the lies just fall right out of him and as everyone sees them he still tries to deny it all..

then i love when you are nice to my face one minute and then in private you basically give me the middle finger.. everyone is starting to see the real him and he doesnt like it. not my fault but he ploys that it is. I will do whatever to protect my kids. They are my life, I love them forever and always. its not right what you do in life as choices has to affect them in a negative way.

im asking for strength and prayers please.. i just want to bawl i cant stand seeing my kids hurt.. im so tired of his drama..

sorry this is so long but ive had about enough.. its getting old.. Thanks for letting me vent

[ilove2$hop]

(((HUGS)))

I have been there with my ex-husband 3 years ago. Custody case. Restraining orders. Jail!! Yeah, it was hell and I was a basket case!!!

Sorry, but since you are seperated, you should ask him nicely to mind his own beeswax now. if it has anything to do with the kids, you will talk, not shout or have raised voices. If it's not about the kids, then email me.

You have to set boundaries for your own sanity. Why does he accuse you of things? He is just trying to guilt trip you, make you feel bad..etc...My ex was the same way...He cheated ALOT on me.

In court, do not lose your temper or have raised voices. Just state the facts. do not look at your ex. do not say bad things, just state why they should stay with you. It has been 3 years now since the divorce. He has since then, remarried. We still DO NOT talk to each other. It is just better that way for us. I am happily engaged, not in a rush to get married again but my fiance is divorced too so we both can relate...

Hang in there!

[lbrown1618]

Great advice from iluv2shop.

I went thru a divorce that finalized in December. Altho we get along good now and knew we would, during the process things did get ugly.

I can relate to the phone checking. I was the jealous one. Even after we decided to get divorced, I still checked the history and even did backsearches to see who belonged to #s. It was dumb, i know. You NEED to remove that option from him by either changing your account password or just bite the bullet and change phone plans to get on seperate bills. We considered staying on the same plan, but no matter the few dollars savings, its not worth the headache. MONEY is why most couple fight, and this just keeps that attachment. Don't buy into any guiltrips about he can't afford a phone if its not on your family plan. He needs to grow up and accept things are going to change.

Don't argue or do things that will be regretted down the road. Keep in mind the kids. Keep your cool and don't let him see he has gotten to you. YOU know you are a good person/mom/etc, cry or yell when he can't see or hear you. Once he sees his actions aren't getting under your skin, he will stop.

[shashabell]

Get a different phone play. You are not "family" anymore so why have a family plan. That's an easy fix.

Change your facebook privacy setting to "friends only". No matter who's account he logs in from unless they're your friend he will not be able to see anything you've said. If you have some facebook friends that you think he might have access to their accounts, delete them as friends.

I'm sorry about your oldest daughter, but you cannot force him to see her if she is not biologically his. Sad that he would do that, but I doubt there's anything you can do to force him to see her. He's probably just pulling that to hurt you.

Lastly, document everything that he says or does and try not to have contact with him other than to discuss your children.

[TeePee]

Get a different phone play. You are not "family" anymore so why have a family plan. That's an easy fix.

Change your facebook privacy setting to "friends only". No matter who's account he logs in from unless they're your friend he will not be able to see anything you've said. If you have some facebook friends that you think he might have access to their accounts, delete them as friends.

I'm sorry about your oldest daughter, but you cannot force him to see her if she is not biologically his. Sad that he would do that, but I doubt there's anything you can do to force him to see her. He's probably just pulling that to hurt you.

Lastly, document everything that he says or does and try not to have contact with him other than to discuss your children.

All that above. It is up to YOU to stop the drama now! Stop being victim and move on. When you go to court, no emotions, only facts. If not you will end up getting screwed in the end. Trust me, I have been through a divorce or 2 and have belonged to several stepparent websites long term. Don't set yourself to lose it all because you have no control over yourself.

HUGS!

[queenofthehivemomof5]

You said his boys went in under their mothers Facebook account and spied on your Facebook page. Block her account.

Sorry you are going through this. My prayers are with you.

[Smee]

He is exhibiting stalkerish behavior. I would handle it as such.

I agree with changing your facebook settings, but I'd keep in mind that facebook is 1. often glitchy and unreliable, and 2. a public site by design, personal settings notwithstanding. With that in mind, I would suggest posting as if everyone in the world can read it and posting only content you'd be comfortable with the whole world reading.

[everprincess]

Girlie you got to cut him off the phone-EVERYTHING. The only way to get him to stop is to take control of the situation. Love you but don't hate me for this-but stop posting stuff on your facebook page that you don't want the whole world to see. I know it's your page but things like this are viewed by the public and you don't want him to have any kind of leverage over you. Hope it gets better soon.

[CW&M Mom]

I have a situation that I need the people in my town to not see. Not just for my protection but for some of there job protection as well. you are able to set up privacy on each post you make in FB as well. It's a little padlock in the corner. I think right side. So each time I speak about the reason that I can't have anyone in my town see...I use that privacy setting..that way none of them can see it. They haven't done anything wrong..but just because I have my settings good on Fb doesn't mean they do. And since several of them are employeed' by the situation that I am involved in...I can't be confident that I have any confidentiality with FB on there page.

I would block the mother's account. I would tell her why..and tell her when the divorce is settled that your will unblock her.

You could also set up more then one account and have your happy life with those that you know are going to tattle..and have real life with those that will not.

The other thing you can do is have a "secret" group that you can set up on FB that you can invite people onto...that only you trust and can share info on. That way if your kids get old enough to get onto FB they don't see all the stuff you put onto your wall. Lots of my friends going through a divorce do that as well.

I agree about the phone as well. Get that settled as fast as you can. If you can dump that phone..i would and start new. There are great no contract phones now days...that are cheap and get you everything at a low price without credit checks or anything like that.

[jen276here]

I just wanted to say I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you two and I wish you a better future.