What does being potty trained mean?

[kaedeebug]

I teach a 3 year old class and the requirement is they have to be potty trained. I have one child who is afraid to touch his privates (he hates getting his hands dirty) and he stands and sprays everywhere! I tried to get him to lean and he still misses the toilet. He also refuses to go #2 in the toilet and he wears underwear because he dislikes pullups. He will cry and scream "Oh no I have to poop" and I try to get him to go but he will not. I asked the mother if she considered him potty trained and she replied yes.

Another child wears pullups every day and has not used the potty in two weeks. She gave me a book of stickers to reward him after he uses the potty. This child will not even try to pull his pants down and will not even act like he knows to stand or sit. I asked her if she thought he was potty trained and she said and I quote, "He goes for my Mom."

I do not understand how they think that these children are potty trained and how do they expect me to train them when I have 8 children in my class. I expect accidents and have no problem wiping a child but this is just leaving me speechless. My director wants me to work with them but she is listening to the parents who "think" the children are potty trained.

I am so frustrated!!!!!!!!!

[CW&M Mom]

neither is trained.

The first one needs to be put back in a diaper. He doesn't sound ready..and sounds frightened of the toilet. This is exactly why we shouldn't push our kids to train before they are ready.

The second one needs to have the pull up taken away and be put in underwear. He might be willing to go once he doesn't have the easy access of a pull up their.

That sounds like pretty good ratio though for 3's. When I taught 3's it was 12 to 1. two's was 7 to 1 and I was expected to basically potty train them.

[1tricky1]

Sounds like the parents are fibbing a bit just to be able to have their children in the class.
You're kind of stuck. I would just work with them.

[clippyclippy]

The two you describe are "training", not "trained".
Your preschool needs to enforce the policies they have in place, otherwise they are meaningless.
Another parent will want their child enrolled and when they are told their little one needs to be potty trained, they might very well point out the others in the class who aren't and wonder why rules aren't enforced across the board.

I sit on the board of a large preschool and these issues come up all the time. We take each case individually, but usually it involves giving the parents notice that their child can't continue to have accidents and be considered trained. If they continue to soil themselves, they will need to be kept at home until they complete the training. We absolutely don't allow that to continue indefinitely.

Occasional accidents are different. It's usually pretty clear if the child is having a few accidents or if they are not fully trained.

I'd talk to the director again. Maybe if you told them you need more help if you are expected to change soiled clothing on a regular basis?

We've actually had a situation where the mother would not believe her little one was not trained until she started getting called in on a regular basis to change him. She then had to keep him home for 2 weeks before she was able to bring him back. When he came back he was done!

[Macaela25]

The policy in our school is that potty trained means no accidents whatsoever for two weeks, and the child must be completely independent in the bathroom. Until then, they cannot go into the three year old class and and continue to pay the two year old tuition, which is $40 more per month. Pullups are not allowed in threes.

I would document the accidents and how many times per day/week you have to change them or clean up after them, then present this to the director as proof they aren't potty trained. If the director doesn't care and simply wants to please the parents, you're stuck. 7-8 kids in a 3 year old class is great. Florida's minimum standard for 3's is 1:15.

[justmama]

If they need assistance, then IMO, they are not trained. I don't want to pull pants/underwear up or down, wipe any bottoms. There is NO WAY if there's a pull up involved i'd even consider entertaining the idea that he is trained.

[sns4063]

When I was in high school, I worked in a daycare as the afternoon older-2's teacher. I only had two kids that had occasional issues-one only had issues during nap (I'd have to wake him up a little bit before the others) and the second child would wait til the very last minute to let me know he needed to use the restroom. I worked with the children and by the end of the summer, they were fully ready for the 3 year old class! The two kids in the OP are not fully trained.

[taylordvd]

This is why I have been absolutely 100% honest about my DS with the new preschools. In fact I tried to scare them to see which one was really the right place. He is 4. We have been working on the potty for a while. We have even started to do some testing to see if there is something else going on. But I have flat out told them "He's not potty trained!" His new preschool is just thrilled to work with him. They are willing to meet him where he is at. All that being said, it was very scary to call up preschools and admit that he wasn't potty trained since he is going to be in pre-k.

Frankly I think these moms think they will be kicked out or have to pay the extra money and probably aren't really embracing where their kid is at. I have been guilty of that too. Maybe they really need support in that area and was hoping the school could provide that. But they should have been honest about it. It probably would have gone over a lot better.

[Troop1379]

I am a two year old teacher. they are NOT trained. You have to have no accidents for a month and they have to be able to go potty by them self and come out and wash hands with soap. Then I would say they are trained. My class has 1:8 and the three's are 1:10. that is here in Va Our three year old will take them as long as they are in pull ups. But I just toke over the class and the old teacher was taking them every hour to the potty and I stopped doing that and now they ask to go and are doing very well. cause they don't feel stressed.

[fungirl2727]

My son is in 3yr old classroom this yr! They don't allow diapers pull up in his classroom at all! Nap time they go potty before bed and wear undies all day. If you aren't in undies and potty trained for bedtime and everything elce you will be held back and go 2 yr old classroom. There was a kid in my son 2yr old class last yr that was 4 and still in diapers so got held back. His parents thought he would get to go pk3 but they strict at school. So they came to meet and greet and found out there son was held back too 2yr old classroom. Potty trained at my son school is no daipers and no wetting yourself. He goes to a very nice christain school and strive on learning.