Adults that touch my kid IMO wrong!

[BigDog]

O.K. I disagree whole heartedly but, have learned to turn my head when football coaches/basketball coaches slap kids' in the butt.

But, I dropped my kid off 2 weeks ago for class and the teacher slapped him a few times on the butt as a 'playful' way.

Well, today, I'm mad as a hornet...I don't want to get anybody in trouble if it was a truely innocent thing....

But, the teacher turned my 8 year olds back to his belly and put his arm around him..as I was signing him in. Well then he put his hand on his chest and rubbed it.....I have like a 2 second rule for that...IMO 2 seconds is too long to ever have an adult put a hand on a child's chest...but, again...I don't like coaches patting bottoms.

Well, I as was trying to remember which cell phone to put down 'to contact in case of emergency'...he literally rubs my son's left nipple...not only rubs but...massages....


I don't know where (really instinct or what)...I slap his hand away and say 'uh that is not appropriate'...

If we didn't have to watch the nursery today I would have left...I try and tell my hubby what happened....except a teenager "helper" just wouldn't leave us alone for a second...even after I said give us a second....told my hubby and he said....
well....nothing he is a little stunned...not mad as a hornet like I am....

After we sent the babies on a walk I stayed (by myself) in the room to make sure no other kids came while everybody was away....my friend came up and I told her what happened (actually she was 'in charge of nursery workers that day'....she told me she would tell the director...


Only problem is the 5 weeks ago or so the "director" told me to not call my #4's teacher the devil...(long story but, she kept calling my child dumb (not in those words) for not being potty trained at 3 1/2)...it took me almost 6 weeks to call her that too...

I want her to take this seriously and not think I'm a "trouble maker" and dismiss this..

Oh, they do background checks of all volunteers.


What do you guys think...harmless touching...or inappropriate.

My husband said when he picked up my child (both times, forgot badge first time) the teacher stayed FAR away from my kid. Hubby said you can tell I made my point...

[sal987]

Okay, in my book....quick light slap on the bottom can be innocent, probably not a big deal.
Chest rubbing-- depends how much, how long -- if it's a quick rough house/tickle sort of thing, probably innocent too.
But outright nipple massage? I can't think of a reason for that. Seems out of line to me, and I think you were right to slap his hand away and tell him that's inappropriate.

[countrylady2002]

I never express my thoughts on something when I hear just one side of the story. As the saying goes, no matter how flat a pancake is there is still two sides to it.

[BigDog]

I never express my thoughts on something when I hear just one side of the story. As the saying goes, no matter how flat a pancake is there is still two sides to it.

No offense (really)...but, I'm confused...Why did you reply then?

To tell me you aren't going to reply???????

I was asking advice on how to handle this situation not to try or convict anybody here....just seeing what everybody else feels is appropriate touch for their child.

[sal987]

I never express my thoughts on something when I hear just one side of the story. As the saying goes, no matter how flat a pancake is there is still two sides to it.

Well if you're talking to me, based on what the OP said, I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that they are describing what happened accurately, and I responded accordingly. Anyway, this is a discussion board, not a court of law. Sheesh.... But whatever, glad you've had your say.

[BigDog]

Well if you're talking to me, based on what the OP said, I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that they are describing what happened accurately, and I responded accordingly. Anyway, this is a discussion board, not a court of law. Sheesh.... But whatever, glad you've had your say.

I tried multi quoting and meant to say thanks for your reply...we are leaving to do a grocery run...eager to see what others think too.

[sal987]

BigDog, you bet. ;)

[kbullsexy07]

When you see teacher are you referring to school teacher as in a public school?

[kbullsexy07]

When you see teacher are you referring to school teacher as in a public school?

I'm sorry my phone auto-types ... I meant say not see...was this person your child's teacher at school or somewhere else ( church etc)

[VivaciousJewelz]

I've worked in childcare, and I'm a parent, so I can see both sides of this and personally, I don't think anything beyond a quick hug, or a high five is appropriate with someone else's children. If you're really close with the person and they are a friend of the family, maybe that would be a little different, but I think any touching of a children's chest or butt area is not cool.

Now, I don't necessarily think that gives you the right to slap his hand away (fighting touching with touching?) however, I do think you were right to tell him he was inappropriate. In this situation, I would see if that nips it in the bud. If he doesn't do it again, then there wouldn't be a need to go to the director, b/c anyone who was purely innocent in their intent would make sure to abide by the wishes of the parents as far as interacting with their children (if someone told me they didn't want me to hug their child, I would absolutely refrain from doing so).

However, if you see this again, I would absolutely go to the director, and to the director's boss, too, if it comes to that.