Adults that touch my kid IMO wrong!

[dianee]

you want approval to follow your gut instinct..... first thing is to take your kid out of harms way. Then make whatever decisions you need to.

[3timesoccermom]

Either way you don't want to make a mistake - tough situation. You sure don't want to put your kid at risk but at the same time it would be a shame for someone to get a reputation they didn't deserve.

[PHmom]

Here you go

That was an opinion column not a news story and doesn't at all prove the point you made (IMO), sorry. The column did make good points about some men being afraid to help but did not really site a specific case where a child died directly b/c someone refused to help. The man mentioned in the article saw a young girl walking - she was not in any danger at the time. I totally believe he shoud've done more than drive away and I do understand that she later drowned but she was not drowning when he saw her. I'm not trying to be hard to get along with but I just disagree that there is some sort of large scale problem of kids dying b/c people (esp men) are afraid of being labeled a pedophile. I do agree with the other points in the article about dads not knowing how to react when it's not their kid and I think that is an issue - I have no idea what the answer is but I can see that being a problem.

Either way you don't want to make a mistake - tough situation. You sure don't want to put your kid at risk but at the same time it would be a shame for someone to get a reputation they didn't deserve.

Totally agree - that's why I suggested the OP ask management to schedule a training for everyone and not just single this man out.

This is a rough topic to deal with - no one wants anything to ever happen to a child. But at the same time, someone's life can be ruined completely by a false allegation.

[shashabell]

I think it is an overreaction. A child molester is not going to molest a child in front of others. Most likely i was just a friendly hug with nothing behind it, and you are assigning sexual thoughts to it when the teacher is not. Would you freak out if a female teacher did this? Would it be okay for you or your husband to do this?

You have every right to withdraw your child from the team and/or school if you do not like what goes on there, though.

Kids have died because people were too afraid of being labeled a pedophile to help. Many men are afraid to work with children in any way, leaving children with few male role models.

I have some problems with the statement that I bolded above. IMO a child molester would make advances in front of adults to send the message to the child that it's ok because nobody's saying anything. So, the child just goes along with it since mom or the other adults didn't make a big deal about it. The child thinks surely if it were not ok the adults that I trust would have said something. One thing leads to another but the child still goes along with it because at the beginning when the child had a funny feeling about being touched it was thought to be ok by everyone. So, the child pushes those "not right" feeling deep inside and is a compliant victim.

And yes people who commit crimes are brazen (sp?). Ever hear about arsonists standing with the crowd watching the fire burn or murders and abductors joining the group of people who go out looking for the victim?

[CW&M Mom]

I have some problems with the statement that I bolded above. IMO a child molester would make advances in front of adults to send the message to the child that it's ok because nobody's saying anything. So, the child just goes along with it since mom or the other adults didn't make a big deal about it. The child thinks surely if it were not ok the adults that I trust would have said something. One thing leads to another but the child still goes along with it because at the beginning when the child had a funny feeling about being touched it was thought to be ok by everyone. So, the child pushes those "not right" feeling deep inside and is a compliant victim.

And yes people who commit crimes are brazen (sp?). Ever hear about arsonists standing with the crowd watching the fire burn or murders and abductors joining the group of people who go out looking for the victim?

YUP!

Some molesters seek not just the child but the family that will "enable" the situation to happen because they overlook situations, no mommy alarms go off, they shrug stuff up, they are permissive in what they allow, they give that person way to much authority over the child ect...

Not every situation is like this, but if you look at the nitty gritty of it. If a child molester is going to pick a child that he is going to get close to (not the random event situations) and try to be in a situation where he can continiously molest that child he has to do it under the nose of that child's family.... He's going to choose the family that he thinks won't stop him. Won't suspect him and even if they think something is wrong still will just shrug it off.

So he very may well want to see the reaction of each parent when he is "too close" to the child to see there reaction. The parent that doesn't seem to notice...he'll prey on that child.

[IntoTheMystic]

I agree with this post 100%. Do not EVER second-guess your motherly-instinct. Trust it.

First...there is no such thing as innocent nipple massages of a child. Gradually invading a child's space and having them become comfortable with "small" yet inappropriate touches and gestures is called grooming...pedophiles are masters of this....something is not right. Pedophiles rely of the innocence of children and the ignorance of parents by second guessing themselves. Remember what research points out...child molestors are not strangers, they are folks that have easy acess to children.

And two, expecting children to set and enforce boundaries with adults is a good idea...but look at how adults have difficulty even deciding whether the behavior was "by accident," or sexual or inapporpriate.

As to what would I do--if I saw one of my children's/grandchildren's teachers engaging in that type of behavior...I would have put an immediate stop to it-called the police-pressed charges-- No teacher can pretend not to know that a nipple massage of a child is wrong and a criminal act.