The official Duggar family discussion thread!

[beth119]

This thread has certainly been interesting. I also came from a large family. Right smack in the middle of 7. Granted we didn;t all live together (my parents are divorced and both remarried, and had more children), but there were 5 of us kids in my house. There is almost 8 years between me and my younger sister, and 11 between me and my younger brother. I also have an older brother and sister who are 2 years older than me.
My mom definetly had parenting issues (very career driven) and wasn't home a lot. She had a lot of late meetings, and business dinners. When I was about 14, and my sister 16 we realized that we almost never babysat our little siblings. We had a couple times in emergency situations, but never on a regular basis did we have to take care of them.
When my mom was home, she did it all. When she wasn;t her husband, or a babysitter did. My sister and I finally asked my mother if she didn';t trust us or something. She was a little shocked at the accusation and put it very simply for us-
She chose to have kids. My sister and I didn't ask her to have them. Therefore, she wasn't going to make us responsible. She said she had seen to many parents take advantage of their older kids in that sense. She wasn't going to do that.
If we wanted to spend time with them we could. In fact, we took them to places like Chuck E CHeese, movies and other places. I think it made me appreciate my younger siblings more, rather than being annoyed, jealous, or resentful of them.
I am now almost 25, my little sister is 16. She comes and spends every summer with me and my husband. I love having her here for the most part, we are very close despite the age difference. My mother still makes sure every year that I don;t mind her coming.

So, after all that...I think that my mom was on to something. When parents decide to have a lot of children, it needs to be their responsibilty. It's not fair to expect a 12 or 13 year old to unhderstand a 2 year old and be their mommy. I agree that part of being a family naturally is to help with other stuff. But non child rearing. There are to many kids having kids already. Why give them the responsiblity before they are ready for it?

[beth119]

I would also like to add that I have had 2 miscarriages. And I have been on birth control (not while pregnant). I have never blamed the birth control for either, nor did I think I was being "selfish".

There are sooo many reasons a womans body can miscarry. Some are obvious some are not.

[Merczilla]

I have 4 kids. Oldest will be 23 in Sept., then 10, 9 and 4. Was married once when I was young and stupid. lol Have been with my Significant Other for 18 years in August. Had my 10 year old son when I was 37, 9 year old at 38, then had more cerival cancer problems and had some freezing done and then a couple years later another LEEP. So not much cervix left down there (had a cone done at age 21, too).

Was told I needed to have a hysterectomy in early 2001. I didn't have insurance and blew it off. I ended up pregnant again that year (I'm apparently Fertile Myrtle). When I did the home pregnancy test, the lines were really faint and I waited a few days, did it again and they were there, but still really faint. All other times, the lines had been strong colored and obvious.

Was confirmed by the doctor, but at 12 weeks I had some bleeding. Not much, but enough that I went to the ER. It was a little early for a heartbeat to be heard by stethoscope, so they sent me for an ultrasound the next day. The baby had died at 9 weeks. I had also stopped "feeling" pregnant about then. It was weird. Had to have a D&C because I had had problems with my last two with the placenta not detaching and I didn't want to bleed out somewhere. I was kinda amused when I went in for the D&C (Catholic hospital...I'm non-religious) and as they're preparing me for the procedure, it's a matter of course for them to ask if you're pregnant. Obviously no one really looked at what I was there for, as I had to say well, yes and no. They all felt rather stupid when they realized the problem. lol

Anyhoo, less than a year later I was pregnant with my last one at age 42. He ended up being an emergency C-section and 2lbs 4oz, at 29 weeks. After spitting three kids out the regular way with no problems whatsoever, that C-section was a major shock, especially at my age. I would never have had kids if I had to do that each time. Ugh.

So ummmmm yeah. I went on there, didn't I? I just had to assume the one I miscarried had something that just wasn't compatible with life and that was just how it was. Now seeing as I already had kids, I wasn't devastated by it. Yes, it was upsetting, but it was just what was meant to be. But then I had my youngest and he's just the best kid. If I hadn't miscarried, then I wouldn't have had him. There's a reason for everything.

[Tiffany]

The thing that amwazes me about this family is that they have multiple sets of naturally occurring twins - I can't remember now if there are 2 sets or 3 sets - but wow, the combination of two infants would be challenging enough without any other kids!

Hmmm...I don't think this is the same family. If I'm not mistaken, these were all single births.

The Duggars have 2 sets of twins. I just watched their show "16 children and moving in" again last night.

[Tiffany]

There was a special about a family in England that has a bunch of kids (15 or so)and the mother on that show seemed a lot more involved with her children.

Are you talking about the special "Twins, twins, and more twins"?


If so, you'd be shocked to hear what I know about that family. Definitely not what you think...

TV can "paint an entirely different picture" than what is really going on.

[Macaela25]

The Duggars have 2 sets of twins. I just watched their show "16 children and moving in" again last night.

LOL - couldn't bring myself to watch it again!

As for the other show you were talking about "Twins Twins Twins" - was that the family where they are a blended family, Mom German and Dad Irish? One of the kids is named Schwanhilda or something? If so, they did look a little scary.

I love the "Jon and Kate Plus 8" show. Kate's a little OCD, but they seem to be pretty regular. I watched her tummy tuck last night - there's no way I could do that on TV! Way too much tummy, and no place to tuck it!

[kymomof2]

So ummmmm yeah. I went on there, didn't I? I just had to assume the one I miscarried had something that just wasn't compatible with life and that was just how it was. Now seeing as I already had kids, I wasn't devastated by it. Yes, it was upsetting, but it was just what was meant to be. But then I had my youngest and he's just the best kid. If I hadn't miscarried, then I wouldn't have had him. There's a reason for everything.

Exactly, I got pregnant for the 2nd time when my daughter was 2 and just prayed for a healthy baby. I can only assume that he wasn't and at 6 weeks I miscarried. But if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have my beautiful 2nd daughter who will be 2 soon. And I would never wish her away.

[tomommywithlove]

i just can't imagine 17 kids...i am having a hard time even imagining beyond one!! my hat is off to her because i sooo couldn't do it!

[TEparis74656]

WHat do they think she is, a Pez dispenser????????

[Macaela25]

WHat do they think she is, a Pez dispenser????????

That was really uncalled for.