The official Duggar family discussion thread!

[TheyCallMeMom]

Ok this has been on my mind all day.. And It shouldnt be..

Several comments made above were rude and inconsiderate not only to the Duggars, but to many women on this board who have large homeschooing families, including myself..


The older kids are not "raising" the kids.. The parents have an obvious role in all thier childrens upbringing.. Maybe its ones inability to parent the small family they have, maybe its just plain ignorance to large families.. I dont know anything about those who made those comments.. But its what I have experience from others who have made similar comments to myself directly.. But to think that a mother of a large family "does nothing" because her children contribute to the household, is absurd..

From what I have seen those children are well loved, level headed children who will be a great contribution to our adult society...

I would like to see more families like them portrayed on tv... Because I for one would take the "odd life" ( as you so call it) of the Duggars over a Desperate Housewives or Brittney and Lindsey lifestyles that teen and adults alike are glamorizing..

[derketchup]

Can't there be a happy medium? The Duggers are on one extreme end, opposite of Britney and Lindsay.

I wouldn't want to watch either on TV. Maybe that's why I don't watch TV. LOL.

[Melsie]

I just want one more!!!! Can't seem to have one though! Maybe I need to drink the water she's drinking? :shrug7:

[kadoatie]

I personally have seen all the TV specials on them, and I think some people's issues with them is that it seems their children go way above 'contributing to the household'. There is a big difference between having the kids help out a bit with the dishes, laundry, or for them to pick up their toys or make their beds, that type of thing, and what the Duggars do. They make their older children have an extreme amount of responsibility for cooking, cleaning and also watching the younger children. While I think it is fair to expect older children to help out to some degree, they are almost forced to be mini-parents, and that to me does not seem right.

I also have problems with as someone else called, the "Groupthink" mentality. But I also agree that these kids are probably better off then many other children in this country, and to each his own, if they want to have zero kids or 1 or 3 or 15.

[cottagemom]

I can give you an insider view. My father came from a family of 15... 10 boys and 5 girls. The older ones helped with the younger ones and as the olders one have told me It made them the wonderful person they are. All of the older children have homes and great jobs and very wonderful lives...some of the younger ones felt left out because they didn't have to help others!! These are their words. I have always been questioning my aunts and uncles about growing up in a large family and they (every single one) have all said they wouldn't want it any other way!

My father wanted lots of children but ended up with 3 because of my mom having RH neg. blood. I would have 15 in a heart beat..used to tell my granny that I wanted to out beat her by one. But I have pcos and praise God I have 1 beautiful son and 1 step son in the army and 3 beautiful step-daughters. One lives with us and the other 2 most likely will be with us in the near future.

And as the falling out commint. I can tell you one thing my grannys doctor told her when finding out she had 15... "Mrs. F....r I can't believe that.. Your body looks as thought you've had only 1 or 2." He was amazed so maybe women knows how there body can handle the stress of being pregnant. i can tell you at 39 I feel I could have at least 5 more now only God knows if that will happen!!

[Mikki 316]

I've seen the shows concerning the Duggars on tv. I was blessed with 1 child after being told for years that I wouldn't have children. I would love to have a house full! Mrs. Duggar is so organized and everyone knows their "place" and schedule. I think there is alot of love in that family and I really enjoy the tv specials about them. They are the 2007 version of The Waltons to me. I'd love a big family. I thank God every day for my one little miracle. I say go for it! If God continues to bless you with children and you are able to care for them, go for it! I'm really sorry for all the negative comments that you ladies have endured because of your large families. That's really inappropriate for someone to make such statements. I'd love to see your stockpiles and your "pantry" pictures. I'm sure they would resemble the Duggars'! I love it!

[Daisy]

The older kids are not "raising" the kids.. The parents have an obvious role in all thier childrens upbringing.. Maybe its ones inability to parent the small family they have, maybe its just plain ignorance to large families.. I dont know anything about those who made those comments..

Mommyof6kids, I think you are taking the comments on this thread too personally. No one is saying that every family with a lot of kids is set up this way. But on the Duggars shows, the mother sure does seem to pass off a lot of the child rearing responsibility onto the older children. I dont think anyone is saying thats how all large families do it.

There was a special about a family in England that has a bunch of kids (15 or so)and the mother on that show seemed a lot more involved with her children.

[jolinekacie]

I've seen them on TV. I have mixed feelings about them. I have a problem with their buddy system. I don't it's right to make the older children care for and raise the younger ones so that momma can pop out another baby every year. I have also heard (not sure if it's true or not) that the girls are not allowed to go to college. Two of the older girls are responsible for meals for the whole family. They seem secluded from the world and other children which can be good or bad, depending on how you see it. They even have church in their home.

I agree with you--I watched one of their specials and I don't think there is anyway that these children are getting enough of their parents individually. While I'm all for homeschooling, with the way their family is set up, it seems like a family cult. I thought it was kinda creepy instead of warm and loving. If they want so many children why not adopt some of the so many children who don't have parents to love them???
17 kids? IMO I think there's a huge potential to see one of them on Jerry Springer or Maury in the future.

[lilymaid]

This thread is interesting...I've really enjoyed reading it so far! I was married not quite two months ago, and my husband and I have known (for years!) that we want as many children as God will bless us with. I didn't know there was actually a "quiver-full" movement, I like that.

I was #2 out of 5 children. My mother was #3 out of 6 (actually, she was my grandmother's first child, but my grandfather had 2 before he was widowed) and my dad was #6 out of 7. I LOVE my big family!! I have dozens of cousins on either side, and am fairly close to my extended family. In fact, I met my husband through a cousin of mine (she's my best friend, next to DH).

I think children NEED responsibilities. Idleness is never good. That's not to say that there's never time for play. My sisters and I played all the time. We started multiple businesses, LOVED writing and performing our own 'plays', sewed our own homemade barbie clothes, etc. But that sort of playing was productive. I'm glad my family never had a video game console. We had a t.v., but only basic - no satellite or cable.

My parents started homeschooling 7 years ago. At the time, I hated it. What? All work, no note-passing? Looking back, I'm very grateful. High school probably would of killed me. =) My husband and I plan on either homeschooling our children, or if financially possible, sending them to a classical christian school (because I couldn't teach Latin if I tried!)

If they want so many children why not adopt some of the so many children who don't have parents to love them???

I think you missed the point. Did you read the part on the website about how they came about to have such a large family? I'll copy & paste it here:
"Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar married July 21st, 1984. At that time, they chose to use the birth control pill. They thought, “We don’t want children right now. We can’t afford them. We want children in our timing, when we’re ready.” Four years later they decided to have their first child. Then, Michelle went back on the pill, but she conceived and had a miscarriage. At that point they talked with a Christian medical doctor and read the fine print in the contraceptives package. They found that while taking the pill you can get pregnant and then miscarry. They were grieved! They were Christians! They were pro-life! They realized that their selfish actions had taken the life of their child. They prayed and asked God to forgive them, and to teach them to love children like He loves children. They asked God to bless them with as many children as He saw fit in His timing. Right after that Michelle got pregnant with twins! To date they have been blessed with 16 children, (10 boys and 6 girls) Joshua, Jana & John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah & Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah (& Jennifer due July 28, 2007)"

"What does Mr. Duggar do for a living? He needs to have a big fat income to provide for that many kids." (sorry, I don't know how to 'quote' that?!)
He and his wife are real estate agents.

*crossing my fingers & hoping I'm fertile*... =)

Jill
lilymaid

[kyndmamaof4]

Jill~

I truly hope you are blessed with many children!