I don't think my MIL likes me or my child :~(

[Annye]

By way of background, DH and I have been married more than 20 years, since college, and we have one son together. DH is my MIL's only child as well.

His family has a family reunion every 3 years. The next one is in the summer of 2012. She (MIL) is the one organizing/planning the whole thing. When she asked for possible conflicts, I mentioned to her that my son and I are already busy the first weekend of August with something we can't miss.

She scheduled if for the first weekend of August.

I emailed her, reminding her that we are at this other event, one we've gone to and helped organize for 10 years.

She told me "Change the date for the other event, that weekend is good for the rest of the family."

I can't stop crying. DH is trying to work it out, but even if she moves the date, her intention was clear - her lone DIL and grandchild are just not that important.

Anyone have any good bible passages to send me to on dealing with MILs? I'm not finding much comfort in Job

In peace,

Annye

[motherofmolly]

just remember, it is her loss. she is losing out on that time with her grandson. and she is losing time with you and ultimately this will cause friction with her son.

hugs. it can be hard.

[Macaela25]

Has she always been like this or is this a new issue?

[jenrose]

You have been together a Long time. Has she ever given you any other reasons to believe that she doesn't like you and her only grandchild? If not then I would be led to believe that she may have taken EVERYONES availability into account and went with the date that had the fewest number of conflicts. But if she has shown other times that she isn't fond of her son's choice of spouse then maybe she did this to irritate you. And if that is the case then it is her problem not yours. Sometimes family is hard to get along with.

[healingMD]

Shalom Annye,

Sorry to hear about your MIL, I don't know what it is about MIL forgetting that they were once, daughter-in-laws. Here's a passage that always gives me comfort when I begin to think of the closeness/non-closeness with my in-laws "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household." Matt 10:34-36. I know that doesn't appear to be of help, but I like to look at it as no matter what happens between my biological parents or my in-laws and I, I will always have my hubby to be at peace with it.

Don't look at the situation as a dead-set, you never know what can happen in a year. Have you thought about inviting your MIL to the event you two are attending?
Praying with you!

[Smee]

Does she have a history of spite or does she maybe not understand the significance of the other engagement? Maybe she's one of those clueless people who needs to have a clue drawn on a blunt object and be knocked in the head with it? It's easier to take when people are just clueless than when they're deliberately spiteful.

[CW&M Mom]

We have family reunions every year and honestly there is no way to accommodate everyone. I too would choose a date that was best for most of the family..even if it meant my one grandchild couldn't come. If this is the only thing that has been an issue...I really wouldn't take it personally. If this is one of many reasons..obviously could be different.

My aunt and uncle are planning one this year...and they have done it when there kids can be there..and not taking into account what anyone elses schedule will be or what the weather is going to be like (middle of July...stinking hot, and much of it is planned outside.)...and I know we are not the only ones..that were like..."that's so nice that they have planned it when their children can come and many of us cannot. So many of my aunts and uncles including my mother who has terminal breast cancer have major medical issues..and no way on earth can they sit out in 110 degree weather.

If it were me..and this was the only issue...I'd choose to not take offense of it. Set up a time that your son can go see his grandma another weekend.

[lmcconne]

I agree with previous poster about scheduling a group event and accommodating many different schedules is a nightmare. Unless you have history on which you are basing your current emotional state, the occurrence looks quite innocent from the point of view of a casual observer.

Why does missing this one occasion hit you so hard? I went to family reunions all the time as a kid. Could not tell you who was there for any one time. Sorry, very large family.

[shashabell]

Maybe it truly is the week-end that works out the best as far as everyone else's schedules. I guess majority rules. She might not have done it on purpose to you.

[3timesoccermom]

Maybe if your Hubs did not attend either she would realize what she has to lose by excluding yall.