My DS didn't have a very good Easter

[Kulis]

This made me so sad.
My ds is 5, and his best friend since birth lives next door. They're the only kids in the neighborhood. Even though the friend is only a few months older, he started kindergarten this year and my ds missed the age cut off. He has preschool friends and relatives who are close in age, but he still prefers this neighbor kid.
It wasn't too difficult during the winter months when no one played outside, but now that the weather's nicer, ds asks everyday to play with his best friend. But now this neighbor has time for him only when he doesn't have a "real friend" come over. Apparently because he is older, he is also "better."
It breaks me heart to try to respond to a 5yo who asks "Why doesn't my friend want to play with me anymore?"

[clippyclippy]

This made me so sad.
My ds is 5, and his best friend since birth lives next door. They're the only kids in the neighborhood. Even though the friend is only a few months older, he started kindergarten this year and my ds missed the age cut off. He has preschool friends and relatives who are close in age, but he still prefers this neighbor kid.
It wasn't too difficult during the winter months when no one played outside, but now that the weather's nicer, ds asks everyday to play with his best friend. But now this neighbor has time for him only when he doesn't have a "real friend" come over. Apparently because he is older, he is also "better."
It breaks me heart to try to respond to a 5yo who asks "Why doesn't my friend want to play with me anymore?"

[lasab]

I think that is the age where kids start branching out more. I know its sad, my DS and some of his old friends kind of outgrew each other. Most of his elementary buddies he no longer hangs out but he has a new group of friends now that he is in middle school.

I totally agree. My DD is 13 and in her first year of middle school. Last year was quite rough. She didn't have a lot of friends and the ones that she had didn't have a lot in common. When she started middle school all of that changed. She branched out a lot and made many new friends. I realized during this school year that her friends in elementary school were actually just the daughters of MY friends, not really friends that she would have chosen for herself. Now her friends are much more like her, with similar interests and personalities. At this point, I don't think she would hang out with someone who would ignore her, but last year she would have...and would have been very sad and depressed.

I know my situation is probably different, because I have a daughter and you have a son, but hopefully things will get better soon. Your DS's situation is why I would never want to repeat middle school...too emotionally difficult. Good luck!!

[momof2inohio]

I totally agree. My DD is 13 and in her first year of middle school. Last year was quite rough. She didn't have a lot of friends and the ones that she had didn't have a lot in common. When she started middle school all of that changed. She branched out a lot and made many new friends. I realized during this school year that her friends in elementary school were actually just the daughters of MY friends, not really friends that she would have chosen for herself. Now her friends are much more like her, with similar interests and personalities. At this point, I don't think she would hang out with someone who would ignore her, but last year she would have...and would have been very sad and depressed.

I know my situation is probably different, because I have a daughter and you have a son, but hopefully things will get better soon. Your DS's situation is why I would never want to repeat middle school...too emotionally difficult. Good luck!!

Yes, middle school and high school are very tough! Glad to hear that your daughter has adjusted well to middle school!!

I think in my sons case it was more of a mutual thing on both sides of his friendships with certain kids to branch out more. He had a great group of friends in elementary school and he still hangs out with some but when he started middle school they have different "teams". So he made some new friends that were on his team. I do miss seeing some of his friends come over since but am happy he has new friends and still keeps in touch with the old. He hangs out with the neighborhood kids more since he sees them all the time and since he plays alot of sports he hangs out with kids on his teams.

Back to the OP: I would never let my DS ignore his friend at our house. I think that is just plain rude and sorry your DS had to go throught that As tough as it is I would gently encourage him to seek out new friends since it seems as though his friend is not really being a "friend".

[cupunlvr]

I remember middle school and it is rough for the kids and the parents. You are obviously an attentive parent to be aware of what was going on between the two boys and to also be aware of the parents of the other boy being out of touch with what their son is up to.

While I understand it is/was painful for your son, maybe it is for the best that a little distance is placed here as the other boy sounds like he might be headed for trouble, maybe not, but without very attentive parenting most teenage boys will get into trouble eventually.

[enginerd]

Back to the OP: I would never let my DS ignore his friend at our house. I think that is just plain rude and sorry your DS had to go throught that As tough as it is I would gently encourage him to seek out new friends since it seems as though his friend is not really being a "friend".

It is going to be very interesting this weekend since we are going camping with the family. I wonder if he is going to hover inside the camper on his cell phone the whole time. I'm tempted to say something to my friend but want to be careful so I don't hurt any feelings - we have been friends for over 20 years and will probably still be friends when the kids are grown and gone. Maybe something along the lines that my son has been really looking forward to doing "x" with her son - by the way, "Where is he - I haven't seen him for a while?"