When someone does something nice for you you didnt ask for

[PridesnotPower]

I came home from school today and my husband says to me, "Okay here's the suprise, I had it hidden." He game me a ticket to to theatre and I guess I was supposed to be excited. Right now its really cold, I want to study for school, and I need to pick up the kids from the after school program to make sure their homework is finished. The program is supposed to have them do their homework but I always check because oftentimes it is not finished. I gained so much weight over my pregnancies and havent lost it so I don't have anything decent to wear, I dont have any make up, and I am not in the mood to go out in the cold. So I ask him, what exactly am I supposed to wear? He says to wear what I have on which is a pair of jeans and one of his sweaters. My hair isnt done either. He does this type of thing a lot. He knows I dont really like surprises but he said he wanted to do somehting nice for me and give me a chance to get out and relax. So how do I appreicate somethign I dont want and didnt ask for? I was looking forward to coming home tending to the kids so I can lay down.

[PHmom]

I completely understand, I hurt my DH's feeling really badly once when he tried to surprise me like that. He bought me tickets for an event and made plans with my mom for she and I to go and everything. I had just had DS about a month and a half before that and was still very hormonal as well as totally sleep-deprived. I almost started crying and was unable to act the least bit pleased so he finally asked "you don't really want to go, do you?" And I replied "no, not at all!" I tried to backtrack and say "it was nice of you to try to do this for me" but it was too late - he's never really tried anything like that since then and I still feel bad about it.

It's a hard situation - you know they meant well and are trying to be nice but you're just not interested in going.

[rachellepeters]

I don't know what to say other than ... sometimes you just have to love that someone did something unexpected and thoughtful for you. I've been on the other side many times where I spend alot of time and money to do something for a surprise for my BF and get no appreciation in return, nor do I EVER get any surprises. Act unappreciative to someone's kind gesture and you may never receive a random act of thoughtfulness again.

[wvmommy]

Aww..his heart was in the right place.

You know, sometimes things don't happen the way we'd like. In the end though, it may be the best unexpected blessing.

[abond0017]

I agree that you should appreciate the gesture....it's the right thing to do. Like when you are young and your grandma gives you a hideous sweater, or when a child buys an ugly "I love dad" tie for their father...you smile, say thank you, and put it on because you love them. Lol...

But really. Like others have said...if you turn it down, you may not get anymore sweet gestures. Sometimes doing the right thing is not easy and we really don't want to but we need to. I'm sure there are many who would love for their SO to do anything of the sort for them.

I also do not see why you can't go to a movie in jeans and a sweater. It's also not really fair to him to say you have no makeup... another reason he might want to take you out is because he wants to "date you" (is he supposed to buy you makeup to be able to take you out?). It kind of sounds like you just aren't in that good of a mood so maybe you really do need a break and a nice time out... like wvmommy said, it may be a blessing...

[Merczilla]

I can so relate. Way back when I was young and stupid and was married...lol...I had a 1981 Malibu 2 door. It was only one year old when I bought it, so it was my first "new" car and I loved it. I had my first son in 1984 and that Christmas my then husband told me to go down to the garage to get something...I forget what now. Where my car should have been was this poop brown 4 door brand new Olds Omega.

He thought since we had a kid, we should have a 4 door, that the 2 door was too awkward. I tried REALLY hard to not be mad and upset, but I really don't know how well I pulled that off. He was so excited to have gotten me this brand new car...that I didn't want.

Sometimes they just don't realize what it is you really want. If maybe he had given you a couple days notice instead of springing it on you, it might have gone over better. I don't like surprises like that either, especially if I'm just wanting to wind down. It's really, really hard to act happy or pleased with some things, but sometimes for the sake of others feelings, you just go with it....and maybe it won't be that bad after all. You can laugh about it in 5 or 10 or 20 years. lol

[PridesnotPower]

It wasnt the movies it was the theatre. I decided to go and my husband was very happy so I figured it wasnt such a big deal. I bundled up and went. I have never been to the theatre and I was very dissapointed to hear people near me talking on their phones, going in and out, and talking. I was talking about having no make up because its the theatre and I assume you are supposed to dress nicely. I did see one other person with jeans on.

[clippyclippy]

It wasnt the movies it was the theatre. I decided to go and my husband was very happy so I figured it wasnt such a big deal. I bundled up and went. I have never been to the theatre and I was very dissapointed to hear people near me talking on their phones, going in and out, and talking. I was talking about having no make up because its the theatre and I assume you are supposed to dress nicely. I did see one other person with jeans on.

Good for you!! I completely understand how it would feel to have a surprise sprung on you. I'm a homebody. But I have to remember I married someone who wants to go, go, go - so sometimes I've gotta just go...
Now, I hope you get some relaxing down time...

[clippyclippy]

Oh, and go buy some makeup! There's gotta be a coupon deal somewhere!

[3timesoccermom]

I'm so glad you went!! I feel he paid you a big compliment by saying you look good enough in what you were wearing to go. Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet.