Feeling down....

[kimandkathess]

I've been feeling down lately. I know I don't have nearly as much going on as others on here. I feel so bad for some of you after reading your posts, I hate even feeling down about my situation.

There have been so many issues in my family lately. My brothers a fighting and won't speak to eachother, thus causing a rift in our family.

Right now I run a daycare out of my home. My mom works with me and things are not going well. With the economy, a lot of people are losing thier jobs and not needing daycare. Most of the daycares in my area are not even full. I feel bad because the finances are not just tight for my family but hers as well.

The daycare is also stessing me out in the sense that I only have a few left and the last few i have, are not the most well behaved. I would have gotten rid of the kids alerady but they bring me the most money right now, but its starting to effect me mentally and physically.

I want to open a new business and help my mom out by employing her, but all the paperwork and insurances that are tied in with hiring her with a business other than daycare it just so much. I would cost so much to pay her what she needs and pay all the work compl, dissability and things i need just to employ her.

Because things are going bad with the areas mentioned above, me and dh seem to be getting on each others nerves more lately. He is stessed, i am stressed we argue, the kids see the arguing and they are even out of conrol lately.

I just want to sell everything, and take my family far away from here. But then i think....what about my brothers...i want them to speak again, how can i fix the situation if im not here....what about my mother, she will be unemployed....what about my house. I don't want to lose everything i have paid into and fixed, but I donet want to wait another 9 years to pay it off, and in this economy i don't know if it would sell for what i need it to sell for....

uh...i just don't know what to do....


~~~Katrina~~~

[aquene27]

First of all - HUGS!!

Secondly, take a deeeep breath and relax for a few - hard I know.

The issue with your brothers is not something *you* need to fix honey. If they are fighting, then they must come to terms and work it out too. They started it and they must be the ones to end it. You should support your family and of course want everyone to get along, but it doesn't always work this way and as they are adults, they need to "grow up" and handle it themselves.

I'm going through this now, so I do understand. I'm having an "issue" with 1 of my brothers. My mom just wants us "to hug and stop this". I feel that since he hurt me, I should apologize and give in for the sake of family togetherness. This could well be your brothers problem too. We must be able to sort out our problems ourselves of we never really learn to stand on our own two feet. It will work itself out. They will stop fighting - when they work out what the issue is and you honestly can't help that much.

In regards to your business, I'm sso sorry you're having stress from the kids you take care of and the economy. You shouldn't feel bad because you came to your "online family" for support. We're here for you! =)

You and your husband both are stressed and its causing stress in the family. If possible, can you both do something fun with the kids as a "vacation"? If its a weather problem, have a picnic in the house. Or watch a movie together and take time out of all the busyness and stresses to actively do something fun and relaxing for you all.

Hugs again. We're all here if you need anything

[3timesoccermom]

You are obviously a very caring person and a "fixer" but like the PP said, you can not solve everyone's problems. You are piling WAY too much on yourself trying to be responsible for others' happiness and their making a living. Please realize this and stop worrying about others not talking, etc. You can NOT change others' behavior.

Times like these you and your hubs need to support each other and work together. Stop and make the time to communicate, NOW, and regularly, so you can feel you are back to being a team instead of both of you working independently.

You may not be able to help your mom. she is a grown woman and is likely much more resourceful than you know. Work to get your family situated better and I'm sure a solution for her will follow.

The holidays are VERY bad about making it seem that everyone (but you) has the perfect, stress-free, beautiful life with perfectly behaved kids, the cleanest kitchen in the county, blah blah blah. NOT true. So don't let yourself fall victim to feeling that way.

[kimandkathess]

Has anyone here every just completly started over? Just took your family and your necessities rented a uhaul and went someone new? I just want to sell what we don't need. Let the company we are buying from (renting to own) have their house back and packing up and going...

[Whispered]

Has anyone here every just completly started over? Just took your family and your necessities rented a uhaul and went someone new? I just want to sell what we don't need. Let the company we are buying from (renting to own) have their house back and packing up and going...

Yep, i sure have! I believe in following your heart, going w/ your gut and listening to the "Divine".
NO REGRETS.. ever.. I've moved over 50 times, and the absolute best move.. was moving to a place, I'd never been, but felt spiritually guided to go to.. so I moved over 3,000 miles,to a place, I'd never been too. Didn't know anyone, just what i could pack in my truck.

BEST MOVE EVER!!

My advice, is to follow your heart, go where you think you'll be happiest living.

The best thing, you can do for your family, is to live your own happy, fulfilling life.
You can't help anyone, if you're stressed out and worrying over things and you can't "fix' anyone but yourself :)

Go w/ your heart and I can bet it'll be fantastic~
and hugs.. the holidays are hard.

[pokey]

Katrina,
I am sorry that you are feeling down.
But it depends on your problems. If it is personal problems then you can end up in a new place with the same problems.
You may be better off getting help where you live now.
Sending big hug to you.
pokey

[tacatcon]

Hugs Katrina
I have to agree with PP-you dont' need to fix your brothers' relationship. Tell them in no uncertain terms to keep their crap away from you and you just maintain your relationship with them individually and if they want to be buttheads, let em.
I know it's got to be hard to not be able to have everyone together and getting along, but you can't let yourself get bogged down in other people's nonsense.

as far as moving and starting over-consider that carefully. Because like Pokey said-depends on the problems. They may just follow you and now you're off in a new place, with no income and the same problems. Really consider your motivation in why you'd want to start all over.

Hugs
I hope things get better quickly for you!
tara

[bali1228]

Has anyone here every just completly started over? Just took your family and your necessities rented a uhaul and went someone new? I just want to sell what we don't need. Let the company we are buying from (renting to own) have their house back and packing up and going...

I have, twice and the grass is not always greener, as they saying goes. I'm going to advocate for making it work where you are {if it's possible to do so}. You are not the the guardian angel for your extended family, trust me on this one, I know. I upended my life, along with my DH and DD and for nothing really. I was trying to be there for my brother and sister and and in the end, I just made life more difficult for my immediate family. Don't do what I did, it's nice to be able to help your mom out if you can, but if you can't she'll manage, just like everyone else. As a mom I would never want to put my DD in an awkward position, so that she could help me, and I'm sure your mum feels the same. As for your brothers? They are grown @ss men, let them work it out themselves, stay out of it.

[Super_Mom]

Sending Hugs your way. Ill say a prayer for you!!