"Adults Only" Wedding Reception

[amylynne01]

Your other family members obviously know that you have an 11 year old and that finding a babysitter will be a problem.

But that is not the bride's issue. It is OP's child. OP needs to find childcare or not go. I would've laughed at anyone who told me I needed to provide childcare at my own wedding. I'm already providing a meal, beverages, music, and a good time. I need to then provide childcare so a guest can enjoy all that? Not happening.

[Cattus]

My family was invited to a wedding a couple months ago that is gonna be tomorrow evening. We RSVP'd four people and nowhere on the invite did it say adults only. I got an email from the groom yesterday !!! :O

[3timesoccermom]

I think an 11 year old, especially most boys, would be bored out of their mind at one of these events anyway but I can certainly understand your frustration at the trouble you are going to.

[Cattus]

This is a timely topic as we were invited to a wedding and RSVP'd us and our two kids weeks ago only to get an email yesterday (The wedding is FRIDAY) that children are limited to bridal party!!! LOL!!! So I'm gonna wait until Friday and email the groom back that we were unfortunately unable to find childcare with their whole two days of notice!!!

[Cattus]

Oh and nowhere on the invite did it say adults only.

[jen276here]

My family was invited to a wedding a couple months ago that is gonna be tomorrow evening. We RSVP'd four people and nowhere on the invite did it say adults only. I got an email from the groom yesterday !!! :O

How was the invitation addressed? Was it just to you and DH/SO or did it say 'and Family'? I have to say if it was addressed specifically to you and 'Guest' or you and DH/SO then I would have not responded for anyone but. But if it said 'and Family' shame on them!

[bali1228]

This is a timely topic as we were invited to a wedding and RSVP'd us and our two kids weeks ago only to get an email yesterday (The wedding is FRIDAY) that children are limited to bridal party!!! LOL!!! So I'm gonna wait until Friday and email the groom back that we were unfortunately unable to find childcare with their whole two days of notice!!!

Was the invite addressed to Mr and Mrs. Cattus and family? If not then you were in the wrong for inviting your children to an event that specified who the invitation was extended to. I had the same issue and while I didn't wait two day's before my wedding to address it, I will say it's a very uncomfortable position to be in. Formal invitations{which include wedding invites} are always specific to whom the invite is intended for, that's why single people are usually sent invitations addressed Mr. Soandso and Guest. So please try to be a little understanding of the position you put them in, it's horrible to have call your guests and un-invite their added guests.

I understand some folks are less formal in regards to weddings, but really everyone needs to be aware of the protocol for black tie events. My inlaws are Baptist and were not prepared for the formality of a big Italian Catholic wedding. It caused a lot of undue additional stress for me and my family to have to educate my new family on the protocol to follow{the stickiest of situations} My FIL insisted he was NOT wearing that "monkey suit" { the tux} and they couldn't understand why we needed a limo, {gasp} wine on the tables and lordy be....dancing! A wonderful time was had by all after all was said and done, and when my SIL got married two years later....they had tuxedos, a limo, wine on the table and a dance! So just try to find a sitter and enjoy yourself...if nothing else, it's a night out with no kids!

[3timesoccermom]

If you RSVP'd including your 2 kids in the count that was why they sent the notice about the kids. If this is how it occurred they weren't invited anyway and I think it's catty to wait til the last minute to let them know you'll be no-shows if they are including the 2 of you in a final catering count.

This is a timely topic as we were invited to a wedding and RSVP'd us and our two kids weeks ago only to get an email yesterday (The wedding is FRIDAY) that children are limited to bridal party!!! LOL!!! So I'm gonna wait until Friday and email the groom back that we were unfortunately unable to find childcare with their whole two days of notice!!!

[CW&M Mom]

Really?? Now you have to go through your invite list and see who has kids that might need a babysitter? Um, no. Childcare is not the bride's responsibility. Attend or dont attend. Its that easy.

My wedding was an adult only..and I provided a room with movies and toys for the children of guests that I knew were coming out of town and wouldn't have any place to have there children go. Local guests I expected to find a babysitter...but I wasn't going to ask people who drove 2 days to my wedding to find a babysitter for there son...KWIM.

[cade_avery]

cattus- I agree, you should tell them today if you are not planning on attending. Even if the mistake was on their part, you have a chance to be the bigger person. No need to make them pay for 2 extra dinners when you know you are not attending.

bali- I don't think being Baptist keeps one from understanding balck tie affairs. I'm Baptist and we had a huge 600 black tie wedding with a reception at our country club. And I have been to many friend's black tie weddings who were Baptist. And all of them have had wine and dancing. And I have been to some gorgeous Baptist weddings where the people didn't want to do alcohol/dancing, so they did a reception with coffee bars, etc.

OP- I agree with most people in the thread. If you want to go, call your nephew's mother (your sister/brother, right?) and ask them for help finding a sitter in that town. Or try to leave your DS with a friend or relative for the weekend. Try not to be offended. It's not about your or your DS, it's about the bride's vision for the day and that's her one day to have that.