What to do about brother in law.

[dani84m]

last year in sept my brother in law moved in with us because he broke up with his girlfriend. He said he would stay until he got his settlement money.

In Nov/dec he got his settlement money but he didn't move out. Now he says he will move his stuff out when he finds a house. For the past 3 to 4 months he has been staying with his girlfriend, they are together again. He sleeps there, eats there and even calls that place home.

His stuff is still here and anytime he needs something he comes over and gets it. In my opinion he does not live here, we are just his storage unit. When he comes over he doesn't knock he just walks right in.

He doesnt pay rent or compensate us in any way.He only comes over when he needs something.
Its driving me crazy because he is taking up a room and half a garage with all his stuff and he is back with the person that kicked him out in the first place.

My boyfriend did confront him and he acts like he still has a right to come and go as he pleases. He has an address here so that means he lives here.

I just want to know what you think about this situation.

The thing that bothers me the most is that he isnt here so i think yes we have our privacy back. Next thing you know someone is opening the door to your house and walking in, without even a knock.

[LaLabrowneyes]

I say change the locks and start charging him for having his stuff at your place, if he doesn't want to pay then put his stuff out. I think its wrong for him to just walk in whenever he wants to, grab what he needs and go.

[ILv2Shop]

Give him a written eviction since I believe he has some legal leg to stand on. Maybe someone else will know more of the legal end of it. Seem's there was a thread of sorts like this and some had some good advice when it came to the legal end of things.

[TheWoman]

Have you talked to him about it? The conversation might start something like this:

I noticed you are back with your girlfriend. That is just great because I really need your room for my new hobby. I make hats! And not just any hats, they have giant flowers on them. Anyway, I am starting next week so I will need all your stuff out by Sunday night. BTW, I have another new hobby. I joined the National Nudist Association. I am trying, but I still get a bit self concious, so you will understand why I ask that you don't come in my home without knocking anymore. Unless, of course, you want to see me wearing nothing but a hat!

Sunday morning all the remaining stuff goes to the curb and the locks get changed.

[kathann]

Definitely change the locks. He does not have the right to come and go at your home. No reason has to be given....he has no lease....give him a deadline in writing about getting his belongings out. If not, it goes to the curb because he abandoned them. He has no right to use your address as his own.

[bugface711]

I would just say hey, I really need the room now where your stuff is stored. You need to clear it all out within the next 2 wks. After 2 wks put all from the room in the garage and give a reminder.

Also say I also wanted to remind you that since you dont live here anymore, you really need to knock when you visit!

[inthelooneybin]

If he paid you "rent" while he was living with you, then I would write him a bill of how much rent he owes you now. If he asks what the bill is for, that's when you tell him that if he has his stuff there then technically he lives there. And if he lives there then he HAS to pay rent. If he doesn't like it, then he can officially move out all his stuff. Then definitely give him a deadline on when to move his stuff.

Another alternative that will take work is to pack up all his stuff in boxes, neatly of course. Then stack up the boxes in one of your rooms, preferably by the entrance door. That way, the next time he comes back to "look" for something finally admit that he HAS to take his stuff now. I'm sure he'll feel uncomfortable looking through all of the boxes not knowing where the item is. BTW, make sure to tell him when he walks in and sees the boxes that you are happy things are going well between him and his mate and that you just thought you'd help him with his move. ;)

[rtnrjk]

I would put all his stuff in the garage. Change your locks to your living area. Tell him he has 2 weeks to clear the garage or you will have a garage sale to get rid of the stuff. The problem is you need your boyfriend on board.

[Clipper]

Yup, change the locks. And don't forget to pick up a change of address form from the post office to put on top of that stack of moving boxes.

[skimo]

Well, you need to determine how far you want to push this. In some states, such as TX, if someone has been living in a residence (regardless of paying rent), it takes a court order to officially evict them. You need to check out the laws of your state, then come up w/ a game plan.

He may be walking a slippery slope w/ this girl he is back with and looking for a safety net at the moment to make sure his belongings are safe and secure. Refer him to a self-storage unit!