What to do about brother in law.

[jonjaktez]

Originally Posted by TheWoman Have you talked to him about it? The conversation might start something like this: I noticed you are back with your girlfriend. That is just great because I really need your room for my new hobby. I make hats! And not just any hats, they have giant flowers on them. Anyway, I am starting next week so I will need all your stuff out by Sunday night. BTW, I have another new hobby. I joined the National Nudist Association. I am trying, but I still get a bit self concious, so you will understand why I ask that you don't come in my home without knocking anymore. Unless, of course, you want to see me wearing nothing but a hat! Sunday morning all the remaining stuff goes to the curb and the locks get changed.

ROFL. This is so funny. I will have to remember this for future reference.

[tmsmalley]

This is really simple. Start with changing your locks. Then send him a registered letter at the girlfriend's place or an email with return receipt saying that he has 30 days to get his stuff out. Let him know that he must call first so that you can be there to let him in. Tell him that after 30 days you will consider his things abandoned and dispose of them. In reality, you can box them up and store them a little longer if you want to keep the family peace, (or as long as the law requires in your area) but he doesn't have to know that. Start marking his mail "not at this address" and let the post office figure out where to send it.

People can't take advantage of you if you don't let them. Time to stop letting him.

Tess

[jonjaktez]

I agree with everyone here.

-Check your state laws
-Give him written notice
-Change your locks ASAP
-Throw out his stuff if he does not get it out himself by the agree upon date

[Ruddysgirl]

Tell him to put a change of address in at the Post Office. Give him 2 weeks to do this. Than start forwarding all of his mail to his new address.

[dani84m]

Its nice to know everyone thinks the same as I do. My boyfriend is on board to get him out because we both are feeling claustophobic in our house.

I do agree with the safety net. Their relationship hasnt been the best in the past and this could be his way of keeping the peace in their relationship because his stuff is not in her house.

[loladooder99]

Call him to tell him to come over and talk to him about something. let him know that if he is going to live over at his girlfriends house that he needs to remove all his stuff and that you want your privacy back. That not knowing when he is coming in and out is an inconvience. Your gonna have to say what you mean or just keep letting him run all over you.

[kaykwilts]

Please follow everyone's advice that has been given. He is a leach and will continue to take advantage of you if you let him. Get him out while he is on the good side of his GF and don't let him back in again.

[couponfanatic]

I'd change my locks and give him a specific time like pp said. Telling him it'll get tossed otherwise.
If that's too far for you, I've found "messing" with their stuff tends to make them come get it.
Not bad "messing" just reboxing (or boxing if its not), moving it, etc. I'd box it (or rebox) and move it someplace like the garage. Then tell him (after, not before). The idea of you rummaging around in their personal belongings seems to trigger almost a sense of violation, and they get the stuff away from you fast.
For double quick service, tell him you reboxed and reorganized all of his stuff, moved it to the garage and he needs it out by X day. Bet he'll be over that day to get it.

[VivaciousJewelz]

Originally Posted by dani84m last year in sept my brother in law moved in with us because he broke up with his girlfriend. He said he would stay until he got his settlement money. In Nov/dec he got his settlement money but he didn't move out. Now he says he will move his stuff out when he finds a house. For the past 3 to 4 months he has been staying with his girlfriend, they are together again. He sleeps there, eats there and even calls that place home. His stuff is still here and anytime he needs something he comes over and gets it. In my opinion he does not live here, we are just his storage unit. When he comes over he doesn't knock he just walks right in. He doesnt pay rent or compensate us in any way.He only comes over when he needs something. Its driving me crazy because he is taking up a room and half a garage with all his stuff and he is back with the person that kicked him out in the first place. My boyfriend did confront him and he acts like he still has a right to come and go as he pleases. He has an address here so that means he lives here. I just want to know what you think about this situation. The thing that bothers me the most is that he isnt here so i think yes we have our privacy back. Next thing you know someone is opening the door to your house and walking in, without even a knock.

To me, it sounds like it's time to change the locks and put his stuff outside. :shrug7: The longer you keep letting him get away with it, the longer he will keep mooching off you.

[Virusfdu]

Your first mistake was just letting him move in with no written document and boundaries.

Establishing boundaries is the hardest thing to do. Checking laws is the first step to see what your options are legally (should he decide to dig in his heels and make an issue of it).

Changing the locks is a start if he's got a key and not just coming in while the door is unlocked since you are home. Since you know the girlfriend's address an option could be moving everything to a storage unit, paying the first month and having the bill sent to him at his new address. Give him a letter stating that he is no longer welcome rent free. A month's storage is your gift, he can do as he pleases after that. Should you chose to let him move back in he should sign a lease agreement even if his rent is chores or nothing. It gives you the legal boundaries later on.