Should I feel bad?? (kinda long)

[concernedshopper]

I'd feel bad too. Around here, people on food stamps get ridiculous amounts (one girl I personally know gets $800/month for herself and 3 children). We have 2 adults and 2 kids and we spend $150/month on ALL of our groceries and household and, no i do NOT feed my family nothing but cheap carbs! we eat a very balanced diet. A few nights ago we ate baked italian chicken breast, butter-herb penne noodles w/ diced tomatoes and homemade mozzerella/parmesan cheese sauce, broccoli, and garlic bread. the ENTIRE meal (with leftovers for lunch the next day) cost $3.00. It's not about eating cheap, unhealthy food; it's about smart shopping.

But, I know this thread isn't about that, and to the OP, the reason you qualify is because like others have said, even though you are responsible enough to use your resources wisely (and I commend you on that), the gov't also realizes that the money you spend on food could be used elsewhere for your family. So, take it as a burden off your shoulders.

Also, I have to agree w/ 2 posters. With meggers, I AM married and I agree with submitting to your hubby (as he is a godly head of the household), but i also agree with another poster that the hubby should provide for his family. And, I don't think that "not wanting to have a boss." is a good enough reason. I bet most working people could agree with that statement, but they still work because they want to provide for their families. But, I don't know the OP or her husband so that's a very general statement that may not really apply.

[shelleyf]

When i first got the food stamps, a month ago, I felt horrible for getting them...and even worse for spending them...Shortly after, my husband lost his income...they became a life saver. He is now working again and once our income becomes stable again I will go down and re-submit our qualifications. If we qualify, cool...I actually LIKE having them now. If we don't, I will not be butt hurt or anything.

Ladies, I did not start this thread to cause drama. I totally understand where everyone is coming from. I am very hard headed...and him yelling at me to do it caused issues for me. At the same time I DID do as he asked because I hate arguing in front of the kids, and if something as simple as that would end an arguement, awesome...and I am glad that I did do it because we ended up needing it about a week and a half after we got them.

I know foodstamps can be a sensitive subject for some. There are a lot of people that abuse the system. I promise you all that I am not doing that...nor would I ever.

Sorry OP you are going through this. I will be praying for you. I think you need to tell them about your money situation though. You only have 10 days to report more income which they will take from you alot of food stamps of course. You can't wait until you see how it goes, that is against the rules. If you get caught you will lose your benefits for a long time is they decide or could go to jail for fraud. Please don't wait on this. Also I do believe that the husband is the head of the household. That is how my family is run for a little over 20 years now and we are so happy. Of course he doesn't make all the decisions, I usually make most of them. But he leads us in the right direction as God shows him. As long as a man is a Godly man then he should be the head, imo of course according to my beliefs.

[faeryedark]

Sorry OP you are going through this. I will be praying for you. I think you need to tell them about your money situation though. You only have 10 days to report more income which they will take from you alot of food stamps of course. You can't wait until you see how it goes, that is against the rules. If you get caught you will lose your benefits for a long time is they decide or could go to jail for fraud. Please don't wait on this. Also I do believe that the husband is the head of the household. That is how my family is run for a little over 20 years now and we are so happy. Of course he doesn't make all the decisions, I usually make most of them. But he leads us in the right direction as God shows him. As long as a man is a Godly man then he should be the head, imo of course according to my beliefs.

I know with us (we are eligible and recieving again) if we make over a certain amt. then we have to report. So say, we make $1600/mo. and I get extra hours and make an extra $80, then we don't have to report.
Also, it goes a month back.
What I would do in her case, is call her case worker and tell him/her hubby has a job making X amt. ...when do you want me to submit proof?
Often when I've done that, my case worker will tell me the month following, when he actually has a full month in ...since if you apply in say,May ...they go by March and April's income.

[shelleyf]

I know with us (we are eligible and recieving again) if we make over a certain amt. then we have to report. So say, we make $1600/mo. and I get extra hours and make an extra $80, then we don't have to report.
Also, it goes a month back.
What I would do in her case, is call her case worker and tell him/her hubby has a job making X amt. ...when do you want me to submit proof?
Often when I've done that, my case worker will tell me the month following, when he actually has a full month in ...since if you apply in say,May ...they go by March and April's income.

Wow I wish they did it that way here. If you make more than $25 a month than you were you have 10 days to report it. They take all your check stubs and calculate it by 4.333 since some months have 5 weeks. I used to get food stamps but don't anymore. Did I think I needed them? Yes I don't have much money. My son got a part-time job at Taco Bell and they are counting his income against me. We don't make him pay bills because we want him to save to move out whenever he can. It is hard, yes I work 10 x's harder than ever before to get food. I am on unemployment trying to find a job. I have had to lean on God to supply my needs and He is and I am now glad I don't get food stamps because it feels good to not have them.

[saragillman]

Wow, old post. Update I suppose though. We kept the food stamps for about 3 months. Hubby got a job and we were over the income margin by about 30 dollars so they took them.

I have had a job for about a month and a half now!! Yay me!! It's part time...and over nights...kinda hard on the family life but well worth it =) I have not worked in over 5 years!!

I would love to get the FS back as they would really help...but we are surviving!

[JamieLo25]

Old post, but read almost all of it. Wow to everyone getting sidetracked- interesting though.

To the OP, I would NOT feel bad if you really needed it. I understand, it might have been embarrassing or felt like you had to swallow your pride, but hey, at least you and your family had food.

When I was younger and still living at home, I wish we had fs at times. My mom worked HARD. But there just wasnt enough money to go around. I wont go into everything because its long, but I even applied FOR my mom. Sent in all her paycheck stubs and was denied. I couldn't believe it. Times were so rough and there was times we did go hungry. No one would want that for their family.

And for the side convos- from little I had traditional views on the roles in the family. Man provides and the woman is in charge of the household duties, the children and her husband. Those are my beliefs. Even in our house as a teenager, when I would have a boyfriend over, my mother, grandma and even FATHER would tell me to serve them food, get them a drink, etc. Now, they would never stand for me being mistreated. And I dont believe there is a big difference btw being engaged and married. My DH lived together for a few yrs before getting married and I don't believe anything changed btw us.

[uncommon]

I hope you are not serious.

My reaction exactly. It's 2010 - no woman should feel subservient to a man, or anyone else for that matter.

And he could have gone and done this himself.

Of course, in response to the OP, if you need some help and you qualify for that help without lying, then you should not feel bad. These programs are in place to help Americans who need help. If it starts to really bother you deeply, you can always back out.

Best of luck to you and your family.