Need some Santa advice ~ 2010

[jennsvs]

So, my son will be 9 1/2 this Christmas. He is a special needs child, but in a regular class. He is developmentally a year or so behind the other kids his age. He still believes in Santa. I am fine with that, but none of the other kids in his class still believe. He was told last year by classmates after he went back after Christmas break when he told them that Santa brought him a Wii. He came home kinda upset, but got over it quickly. So, I thought that this year we would be okay. Well, today we were talking and he said that he is trying to be extra good this year so Santa will come so he can leave cookies and reindeer food. I asked him if he still believes in Santa, he said "yes Mom, when you don't believe there is no magic anymore". Now I am worried about him getting made fun of if he brings this up at school. He already gets picked on enough for being different. I want to tell him, but another part of me says, let him have another year. He really enjoys the holidays (not just getting presents). He likes going to see and talk to the store Santas. He does know that they are not real. One day he even kept track of how many we saw.

How old were your kids when they finally found out? I remember I was 5. Did you tell your kids after a certain age, or let them find out by other kids? My son probably won't believe it from the kids at school. He always comes to me to confirm something he hears from them. If he asks, I do plan on telling him, or asking what he thinks and go from there based on what he says. I guess my question is, if he doesn't ask, should I just tell him anyway or let him go with it another year.

While I do value everyone's opinion, please only answer if your kids have grown up with the Santa story. I know that many people are opposed to Santa. I don't want to offend those of you who do oppose, I just want advice from those who have been through this.

Thanks in advance and I am looking forward to your answers.

[Mama Stu]

I would let him believe.

I have told this story before on here but will tell it again. My grandpa was 99 years old when he died and until the day he died he would tell you he believed in Santa. He told a story that he couldn't tell without crying and none of us listening to him could hear it without crying.

Him and my Grandma had 7 small children at home and NO money , there was going to be no Christmas that year for the kids . Then on Christmas Eve. day a man stopped by and paid my grandpa five dollars that he owed him. So, off went my grandparents to town, bought a doll for their three girls, and a pocket knife for their four boys, and an orange for each child. Once my Grandpa had told this story he would look at you and say " Don't tell me there is no Santa".

So in this household we still believe in Santa. We grew up with knowing the true meaning of Christmas and why we celebrated. But we also grew up believing in Santa and the magic of Christmas. Some of my kids believed long past the age that your son is and they are not special needs. I say keep the magic alive as long as possible

[CW&M Mom]

My 8 year old still doesn't know.....

[blossomed]

I think your son's answer is the right one - when you stop believing, there is no magic! That is the best advice I have heard in a long time! I would like that on a sampler - not only applies to Santa but love, and dreams, and the tooth fairy, and yourself! What a smart boy.

But on the other hand, being teased for me anyway was a lot more painful than finding out that Santa had some help from mommies and daddies. If he asked, I would tell him has answer was right and that believing in a little magic (which can be fueled by lots of sources) is important.

[Queenkim98]

It sounds like your son already knows about Santa..........why else would he say "yes Mom, when you don't believe there is no magic anymore'.............How would he know that if he really believed in Santa?


Kim

[scoobytrec]

Hi I copied this from a google site, thought it might a good way. My son is only 6 so I have sometime but I think going this route might be a way to still keep the spirit alive:Start telling her the true story of St. Nicholas..... I always knew the true story and still believed.....
St Nicholas was born in 280 AD, in Patara, a city of Lycia,
A famous story about St Nicholas, is about a poor man who had no money to give to his three daughters on their wedding day. St Nick dropped bags of gold into the stockings which the girls had left to dry by the fire. The sisters found the gold and ever since, children have hung up stockings on Christmas Eve hoping that they will be filled with presents by Christmas morning.

You can search the web for St. Nicholas the true story of santa clause. The story is very long but you can make it shorter. I was told that no one knows who the true Santa is today, because so many people do good deeds just like the 1st Nicholas so that is why we should always be good because we never know when Santa is watching. So even when someone at school tells her there is no Santa Clause she can say yes there is and tell them the true story. When she finally figures it out it should be easier because she will then know that you are one of Santa's helpers doing good deeds. You could also buy an Angel off of the Angel tree at the mall and start telling her that you and her are going to be one of Santa's helpers and help out a family in need just like St. Nicholas did which we in America know him as Santa Clause. ~ Good Luck ~ P.S. Your only a child once and I wouldn't tell her that there isn't a Santa Clause because obviously there is YOU and so many other people in the world too. As for her not telling her little brother my sister inlaw threatens her older children with talking away there presents. I would tell her that she is now older and she is going to be apart of a secret club for big girls that get to help Santa out by doing good deeds.
I thought it was a good idea. Hope it helps.

[Mothernature]

Scooby, you have surmised the essence of St. Nick perfectly. We celebrate St. Nick in our Jewish home. He leaves presents for our son on Hanukkah and Christmas Eve.

I would let your child enjoy. He understands what so many do not

[3timesoccermom]

Your son sounds absolutely precious.

ALL of my kids were told by other kids - well before I was ready for them to give up on Santa. I do remember my oldest (now 21) was starting to reason it all out and finding some holes in the theory but she was still hanging on though maybe a little doubtfully.

I was there when she was told by another kid. The kid's mom and I were good friends and had been discussing the issue and the very next day, when I picked up her daughter to take her to school, no sooner was she in the vehicle, didn't even have the door shut, when she blurted it out. It made no difference that my friend had insisted she not say anything. This was first or second grade but my daughter told me (years later) that Christmas was never quite the same for her once she found out.

Some parents feel they are perpetuating a lie by letting their kids "believe" but I wouldn't have traded those times for anything.

If he does come and ask you, don't feel badly if you don't answer directly. You can say something along the lines of "I can't believe someone would not believe in Santa's magic! I sure do!"

I hope your son is able to keep the magic for at least another year.

[cecaic0609]

My kids are too young to be told (1 & 4) but my mom told me when I was about 10 (4th grade) and I was a super smart kid (book-smart wise) and even after hearing from other kids that didn't believe I never believe that was the truth until I heard it from my mom. Having kids wake up on Christmas to see what Santa left totally changed when they stop believing. I know way too many people how don't teach Santa to their kids because it's "lying" to them, yet most of them are the same parents that make up other lies, so what's the harm of a little magic at Christmas? Anyway, just hang in there and have him keep believing and have another special year of visiting Santa and leaving food!

[Jen1]

I think your son's answer is the right one - when you stop believing, there is no magic! That is the best advice I have heard in a long time! I would like that on a sampler - not only applies to Santa but love, and dreams, and the tooth fairy, and yourself! What a smart boy.

I agree.