How did you get your husband (or wife) on board?

[nrpeace17]

Keep doing what you feel is reasonable and hopefully your DH will eventually get with the program. You should not have to hide things, or explain. I agree that there may be an underlying control issue at hand.
It is important that you just be calm and stand your ground. It looks like you are being very conservative with your OOP and 5 of each item is hardly excessive. Just tell your husband that buying extras of items that you use on an everyday basis makes much more sense than paying full price when you run out.

[livingalmostlarge]

No actually if anyone's meaner to the other person it's me. He's way too nice to me. I run the show, down to the penny, hence why I could spend $10 without him knowing about it because I call all the financial shots in our household, I manage all bills, all investments, and I decide where our money goes.

We have a lot of money, I just like more of it. He hates that. I am not a budgeter, but I never spent $10 at CVS before. I have always shopped from a list when we made very little and because things were so tight at most we could afford was 1 backup of anything. So when on sale, I would buy two, use a coupon, then wait until we were down to one and look for another sale. We were also very tight on space so we never stockpiled and have never wasted food. So our food budget would be something like $20/week for two people, with only staples.

Now we don't do that. I don't shop from a list. He doesn't like couponing because he feels that I buy stuff we normally don't eat. So I don't coupon much for food, only if there are coupons for stuff we use like spices, raw foods, meat/seafood rebates. I am not allowed to buy any non-processed foods, sweets, and treats, he's very health oriented. He feels we're to be careful what we eat so we stay fit, healthy, and are investing for less health problems later. He grew up very healthy, portion control was a must in his house, no desserts, no sweets, no fun food, and only cooking from scratch. I have to admit it does help control my weight because my family well we're more enjoyment eaters. He's a superb cook and prefers cooking stuff from scratch, pasta, bread, pizza dough, even ice cream (sometimes).

The reason I have spent so little is getting a small stockpile of stuff for us is easy because we aren't huge users of stuff and we don't use it fast. And with all the meds I have to add, before we had 1 bottle of tylenol and that's it. He doesn't believe in medicine if possible and we're generally really healthy so we don't use anything only prescription allergy pills.

Previously we've shopped at costco and never run out of everything, we buy one thing it lasts 6 month to a year or 2 years in the case of laundry detergent. So I can see his frustration that I've bought a ton of stuff. Plus I only shopped coupons sales then too. I know how much per pound or per ounce I spend so I can determine when it's a better deal there or at the store.

He's really thrifty is the problem, spending an extra penny above and beyond what is absolutely necessary to him is wasteful. I read the other thread about the ham, if I ever did that, he would be really mad. I make a point of cleaning our panty and fridge out regularly, cleaning meaning we eat out of there till it's empty pretty much. Nothing stays long because I know he won't waste anything. And we shop sales.

I never had an out of control budget is also the problem, and we're not seeing huge savings. And I have a hubby who knows I am fiscally very responsible and I think feels right now by spending and extra money I'm not being fiscally responsible. I am not over budget at all, way under budget actually since I have been tracking every penny.

He lets me run the money because I do not spend on stuff we don't need. I haven't stepped foot in a mall in a few years. I don't shop, I like making money. But this I think is making him wonder if I'm becoming a "shopper". I even hate grocery shopping, I considered online delivery but worry over quality of produce. So he's worried I'll start ringing up CC charges, get hooked on spending, and I even went to target to buy electrasol tablets, which I haven't been in for probably 2 years. I never window shop and he feels I'm window shopping in CVS.

[too-old-now]

Take some of that free bodywash and give him special bath, or better yet, share some of the free KY products with him.

This approach is better than telling him you need to use some of that free Excedrin because you "have a headache"

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[mama22qts]

Originally Posted by too-old-now Take some of that free bodywash and give him special bath, or better yet, share some of the free KY products with him. This approach is better than telling him you need to use some of that free Excedrin because you "have a headache" You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Why can't more MEN think like that???

[mmb1996]

:e11:

Originally Posted by too-old-now Take some of that free bodywash and give him special bath, or better yet, share some of the free KY products with him. This approach is better than telling him you need to use some of that free Excedrin because you "have a headache" You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[liane66]

I totally relate to this thread as my DF does NOT like our stockpile. He believes in only buying on an as needed basis. Last night when I brought home 9 more bags of free catfood he started complaining about it (and joking about throwing out a bag a week). I made it clear that I did NOT think that was funny. Yes I have a couple hundred pounds of dry catfood in the basement, but we also have 5 very hungry cats.

However, I am starting to realize that a deal isn't a deal if I/we won't use it. For example, a while back I got a bunch on frozen pizzas for free, but I don't really like frozen pizza. So now they sit in my freezer -- I'll probably wind up pitching them. So now my rule is even if its free (or better) only buy what we will use (or my parents) or donate it.

As for advice, I pretty much just ignore DF. Good luck!

[berlinsmommy]

For those of you who's DHs don't like the stockpile, is it a matter of space? For example, do some of the members who have been around a while remember some show that featured a couponer that had gone so overboard that her family couldn't shower because the entire shower was full of toilet paper? Even if the TP was free, that would tick me off!! Also, even if you have space, is it possible he's upset because stockpile items are taking over "his" space?? My DH is a little like that. He put up shelves in the basement for me because he does not want any of the stockpile stuff in "his" garage. If you are taking over his shelf in the medicine cabinet or his shelf in the vanity I could see his issue. Also, if your stuff is in his way that may bother him. For example, does he open the medicine cabinet to get his razor and shaving cream and 6 bottles of body wash fall out??? Even though my DH is supportive of the couponing and stockpiling, those things would bother him, he has "his" space, I keep the stockpile out of the garage and his drawer in our vanity, and then he has one section of the vanity cabinet that is only for the stockpile of his products so he does not have to go to the basement or rummage through all of our stuff in the linen closet and the other two bathroom vanities for his deodorant, shampoo, razors, and shaving cream.

If he is not the financial person anyway, I'd examine the space angle and possibly he'd be more supportive and even excited about what you are doing if he didn't feel that his "space" was being invaded.

[MrsUSMC]

I am not allowed to buy any non-processed foods, sweets, and treats... He's really thrifty is the problem, spending an extra penny above and beyond what is absolutely necessary to him is wasteful. I read the other thread about the ham, if I ever did that, he would be really mad.

He definately has control issues. I would stand your ground and tell him you're not going to stop your small stockpile and see how he deals with it. Marriage is a compromise, not one person telling another person what they will or will not do. If having a small stockpile makes you feel safe, then he should be willing to make you feel safe.

[6months]

Originally Posted by too-old-now or better yet, share some of the free KY products with him.

I keep reading this as freeky

[BzyBee DH]

Originally Posted by mama22qts Why can't more MEN think like that???

I think mostly all MEN would respond to this