How do you feel about baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, more - Page 8

prochristo · 03-01-2008, 06:23:43 AM

I had four showers for my first son- My hubby's work, my family/friend one, and two from my church. Two from church because they threw one for me right after he was born, and then his adoption got held up by 6 months and by the time he came home he had outgrown almost all of the clothing and diapers we'd gotten at the first one. (BTW- this was the church ladies' idea, I'd have never asked, but I was sooo appreciative.)

For my second son, Matthew, my church threw a shower- which mostly was diapers and clothing, since I had donated a lot of the NB-6mo clothes we got for Xander as he was outgrowing them and wasn't home. The thought of a nursery full of clothing he would never wear was so depressing for me I just couldn't look at that full closet without crying and crying- fearing he would never come home to us. So when Matthew came along I had NO hand-me downs for him! Additionally, Xander was a June baby while Matthew was born in November, so everything I did have was the wrong season anyway.

Our church throws a shower for each baby, regardless of if it is your first or your 6th. Sometimes if it is a 2nd or later it might be a diapers only shower or we all chip in and get Mom a spa gift cert. But we celebrate and honor the Lord's goodness in adding to our families. :)

gosneka · 03-08-2008, 01:55:05 AM

Originally Posted by SammysMom

I feel all baby's should be showered

If later in life Im looking at my baby book and ask my mom "did you have a baby shower for me?" and she said "no dear" I would feel like what the other's were good enough to have a shower but I wasnt. That is me.
I also love love love to buy things for baby's. Something that is their own not a hand me down. So I personally dont have a problem at all being invited to a shower even if it is the 6th child. Nothing like celebrating the coming of a new baby

I agree. I would definitely go, and if I have another baby I think I would have another shower. I wouldn't have another one for a QUITE a while, although that isn't the only reason. I like that he/she would have some of her own things and not ALL hand-me downs. Although, at my shower the only people who were there were close family and friends anyway. I definitely wouldn't have felt comfortable with someone being there I hadn't seen for 10 years unless they were family or we had been really close or something.

Jillibean · 03-08-2008, 05:45:10 AM

I had a baby shower for my first and second because they were 4 years apart. I really didn't want to have another baby shower, but my step-mom insisted that everyone (her huge family) wanted me to have another one. I didn't have another shower for my third since the second and third were 1 year and 2 weeks apart (It was planned, not an oops. My husband was going to Iraq and I was getting any younger. I had that now or never feeling. I obviously said now

)

catzkids · 03-14-2008, 12:07:40 AM

I see no problem with showers for additional babies, but would say to limit it to close family and friends. Many of these people would be giving a gift to the new baby anyway, at least in my family.

lmncc2003 · 03-14-2008, 05:26:08 AM

Well, I think all baby showers are ok, with exceptions. You aren't just inviting people to get gifts, and if it is a baby of a different sex, and/or if it has been a long time since your last baby (ie, an 'unplanned' pregnancy after all your other kids are old enough to watch out after themselves or something similiar).

I know that I have personally planned to wait 10 years (yes.... 10) to have my next child NO MATTER WHAT. I have an IUD and I take every precaution I can with my DH (I call him that only b/c it is easier than explaining my whole situation). I want to finish my school, have a career under my belt, a 401k started with a decent amount in it, to be finally married, to have a nice savings account set up, and to know I am financially stable to support myself with or w/o a man when the time came.

Those are my stipulations on my next child happening. Now if something happens with all the precautions I have been taking, then it is GOD's will and that child is going to be something special!

That being said, I would want to have a baby shower no matter what for my next child because my first baby shower sucked.... it plain sucked. My friend said she wanted to plan and then my mom wanted to jump in and help and she almost ruined it by saying she believe that only women should be allowed to come, and then we didn't talk for almost a month because I told her no matter HOW much she hated DH, she had to accept the fact that he was the father and I wanted all my friends to be able to come and we could celebrate my childs baby shower with couples being invited.

Then when I gave my list of people I wanted to invite to the party (on a Wednesday), I came to my DH's job (which is at Chuckie Cheese's) on Friday and there was my baby shower. I had to hold my tears back becasue I was so upset.... NO ONE SHOWED UP. My friend was rushing everything because she had plans the following weekend. I still wasn't due for another six weeks though....

Let's just say my baby shower was NOT memorable... and I say this because of the situation that was going on at the time, and the fact that my friend (who I no longer talk to, and NO it was not because of this it was because of something else) was thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Scarlett · 03-21-2008, 10:33:22 PM

I don't totally agree with THAT particular situation since she is inviting people she hasn't seen in ages. But I did have a shower for my 2nd baby. There was 11 years between babies, and while they are different genders, the shower was prior to birth, so we didn't know this yet.

I am expecting my 3rd now, and my youngest will be 2. So I don't need much. I run a daycare, so I have a lot of stuff anyway, but also some of it gets worn down fast. So I need a new swing, and I need a double stroller. We may need a 2nd crib but are undecided about that (my son has muscle issues so we don't know if he will be ready for a toddler bed yet).

Anyway, we will have a "shower" for this baby as well, but it will be after the birth, and it will not be worded in the invitation as a shower but as a celebration. If someone brings a gift, fine, but I don't expect them. We are also registering for a few items we never got or need replacing (or a 2nd of), but again, we aren't expecting much. I do think that every baby needs to be celebrated in some way, and there are many who will want to buy a gift for each baby as well, so who am I to stop them.

BUT, in both the case of the shower as well as my son's "celebration" after his birth and this baby's celebration, it is a small affair. Our friends and family we see regularly. Not people we haven't seen in ages... that is silly and I doubt I would even buy a gift in that situation either.

queenofthehivemomof5 · 03-25-2008, 05:48:35 PM

I feel that it is tacky to ask someone to throw you a shower, throw a shower for yourself, have your mother throw you a baby shower, or register for baby gifts.

Registries are for weddings IMO not babies, Christmas, Bat Mitzvahs, or any other celebration that the stores have decided that it is OK to tell your guests what to buy for you.

That being said if someone wants to throw you a shower for what ever birth number your baby is I think it is acceptable to let them do that. If they ask you for a guest list and this is your second or more baby shower then I think keeping the list you give them to close friends and family is the right thing to do.

With my first baby I had 2 baby showers. One was thrown by my Aunt and one was thrown by my church. The one thrown by my aunt was friends and family and the church one was open invite to all 100+ members of the church (and I HATE intimate gatherings with people I hardly know, about 50 folks showed up for that and I was terrified!) I knew in advance about the family one but the church one was a surprise.

With my second baby the church (same one) threw me a shower.

With my third baby about 5 of my neighbors on base threw me a little shower with a few gifts and casseroles.

I did not have a shower with my twins. When the birth was announced in the church bulletin a few members brought us a few little things the next Sunday. That was nice.

abh5e8 · 04-12-2008, 04:36:50 PM

Originally Posted by prochristo

Our church throws a shower for each baby, regardless of if it is your first or your 6th. Sometimes if it is a 2nd or later it might be a diapers only shower or we all chip in and get Mom a spa gift cert. But we celebrate and honor the Lord's goodness in adding to our families. :)

exactly what i was coming to post!! a sweet mama in our church just had her 7th and for her shower we did diapers and then a date night, complete with GCs for a new outfit for her, dinner and babysitters.

before we moved here i had never considered additional showers for additional kids but i love the idea. i think its a nice way to honor the mama and celebrate with her. also, we have a very small and close church and we all know that is the MO, so no suprises. i'm not sure i would want anyone else to throw a shower for additional kiddos though. :scratch:

quiltingdiva · 04-17-2008, 05:33:04 PM

Well, I didn't want a shower, but my SILs forced one on me. Basically told me that if I said no, that they would choose a day and show up at my house with people and cake. I appreciate that they took the time to do it.

My first child is 12 YO and this is my DH's first child, so that was their reasoning for the second shower. I had absolutely NO baby stuff left. DH and I had planned on buying it all ourselves anyway, so it was a nice plus to not have to. They did keep the shower small (as I requested) with only family and a few close friends.

I don't consider it tacky to have a second shower necessarily, I just don't like showers in general. I am a very shy, introverted person and I hate being the center of attention.

I do think that it's a bit much to have a second shower if your first child is only a couple of years old and the same gender, AND you invite everyone and their brother within a 50 mile radius that you invited to your first shower. That seems a bit gift grabby to me. JMHO

mminfw · 04-17-2008, 05:39:00 PM

The ladies at my office threw me a surprise shower for my 2nd baby, and I very much appreciated it. It was nice to be able to include those pictures in the baby book, and having some special gifts new for her was nice too. I wouldn't have asked someone to throw me a shower, though.