How far should your kids be apart in age?

[Beach Bum]

I have an almost 16 month old and am starting to think about another one, but I am not sure if I am crazy or not.So my question is at what ages has other people had good luck between children. I want my kids to be close and love one another, but I want to give each time to be a baby as well. What are everyone's thoughts?

[CW&M Mom]

I think @ least 2 years apart is my minimum. I'm not fond of having a baby and toddler at the same time...cause really you end up having two babies at the same time...oye.

[cheynesnana]

I wanted mine to be 2 years apart.. they ended up being 4 and 1/2 years apart which worked out well. LOL...The oldest started school the year the youngest was born so they each got alot of 1 on 1 mommy time when they were babies/toddlers.

[Justmeinflorida]

DD is 12yrs & DS is 10mo...but they love each other dearly. She's such a BIG help. So I guess it all depends on your situation

[cintinative]

Oh boy. I think this is kind of a loaded question. There was a great article about spacing in Parents that you should read. Really there are advantages and disadvantages to long spacing (2-3 years), longer spacing (4+years) and short spacing (less than two years).

this is kind of some of what I remember from it, but I am slightly biased in memory because of my kids' spacing. I think this is the article:

The Best Time to Have #2 (or 3)


Short spacing (less than two years)

Advantage: you get through the diaper stage faster, more chance of them napping together, better chance of them being good playmates, closer in school

Disadvantage: long periods of lack of sleep, two in diapers at the same time, closer in school (may be one grade apart)


Longer spacing (2-3 years)

Advantage: older child is more independent, able to play by himself/herself, perhaps out of diapers or potty training,

Disadvantage: you are going to be more used to being independent, and then you will return to being home bound with an infant. Older child may have given up naps, which gives you almost no break unless you are instituting a quiet time. Also, the theory is that the longer the time between the kids the less likelihood that they will play well together. (I personally think a three year plus spacing often results in this.)


My personal experience: mine are 21.5 months apart. They both were poor sleepers and had GERD. My first didn't breastfeed right (loong story) and so I pumped for a year. The second, I let bf whenever he wanted because I was so happy he was doing it. LOL. When my second was born, my older one continued to nap until he was about 2.5-3 years. So I did get a fair amount of dual napping in. However, I can tell you there were many many days I thought I was crazy to have our kids so close together. Fast forward three years or so and my boys are best friends. I do believe a lot of that has to do with the spacing.

I have a friend that has two girls, one almost 7 and the other about 2 3/4. She has not liked her spacing at all. They went from being very independent, no naps/no schedule, no baby food, no diapers, etc. to being homebound and worrying about schedules. And her girls do not play together well because she has a first grader and a child too young to even be in preschool.

Like I said, a loaded subject! It's all up to you really. But what I would do is pray about it.

here's an article I found. It's not the Parents' article but it's similar:

The Right Way to Space Siblings (For You) - Parenting.com

[CW&M Mom]

Also getting pregnant immediately after having another baby...is IMO not good for your self..not good for the first baby... and apparently it can even raise the risk for a certain kind of a cancer for your child.

My cousin did that with her 2 on accident..and her daughter had a brain tumor..and apparently the doctors said that the cancer often happens when mothers get pregnant within the first 6 weeks after giving birth..it is believed the mother has some cells from the first baby that implant themselves on the new baby ..and those become cancerous

[Weinergirl]

Mine are 2 years 8 months apart (got pregnant with #2 right before oldest DD's 2nd birthday). That's been great spacing for us. I did have two in diapers for a short time, but now my oldest is a great help and they are close enough in age that they like the same things, and they are very close.

[mom2lucas]

My two munchkins are 21 months apart, and it was really rough with a new born and a not quite two year old. Now, at 3 and 5.... I'd not have it any other way. Most days they play well together. We got lots of dual napping in before DS hit 4. They were only both in diapers for about 3 months as DS potty trained around 2. They have the same bedtime, and DH and I get some quality time after they are in bed. If we had waited until DS was 5 to have another, then I would feel like I was starting all over again with the late nights and no sleep.

[summermay]

My 2 are 4 years apart. My 2 grandsons are 19 months apart. I don't know if it's because I'm older now or what but 2 babies under 2 is A LOT of work. Grammy is tired!

[Green is Gold]

My perfect "spacing" skills are seriously lacking.
DD#1(20) is 10 yrs 4 mos older than DD#2(10 this week)
DD#2 is 27 mos older than DD#3(7)
DD#3 is 3 yrs 9 mos older than DS(3)
Nothing in life is perfect. The 2 that are closest in age get along the worst. And once you have 2 or more, you don't sleep again for a long time.It's all worth it! All that really matters is LOVE! (Just don't ever tell your 16 year old you are pregnant...they will be HORRIFIED!)
Things don't always happen the way we plan them, sometimes they just happen. Best of luck to you and your family, no matter how things work themselves out.