crib and crying it out q

[Amah1976]

So my baby girl who is 2 mo. doesnt sleep well on her back and thus doesnt sleep in her crib. i suppose it is time to start and let her cry it out. so my question is how long do i let her cry before going in to get her? in most cases even if i put her in the crib in a dead sleep she will be awake and screaming within 10 minutes.2 months seems young to let her scream it out.

Update: Thanks for all your answers. I don't want to have her CIO, so I am glad you all agree, we had her 2 month check up and the doctor said she should be in her crib so it made me think I should switch her... I too was of the belief that CIO comes in to play a few more months down the line. To respond to a few other suggestions, we do swaddle her most of the time b/c her flailing arms will wake her up otherwise. I think most of the issue for her is she doesn't want to be alone... she is very prone to startle as soon as you lean toward her bed. I will keep the reflux idea in mind but i don't think it is that. Actually as I type this she is sleeping in the "little bed" .. the small one with the snug supports to make her feel coy and allows for her to be in our bed a little more safely... right now. She didn't nap in daycare today... her first day... so she was exhausted.

[MrsAlias]

There is no right or wrong answer, its personal choice.

I allow my daughter (whos 10 months) to cry for 5 mins, then I check on her to make sure something is not wrong, like messy diaper, missing passie or lost blanket. I tuck her in again, let her know I love her, and leave. And repeat every 5 mins until she stops.

[$Saving!]

When mine were babies (now in their 20's), I had read and followed directions about this.

Basically it was let them cry for a few minutes, go in, without picking them up, and make sure they're ok, not a lot of conversation, just a quiet voice and cover them back up, making sure there is no obvious reason for their crying other than wanting contact.

Then let them cry again, only lengthen the time before going in and repeating the process.

And it was funny, my daughter started a habit of crying and I being all paranoid, spent a week of rocking her repeatedly - until I read that approach. Within two nights she was sleeping through. I learned a sleepy lesson I'll tell you

[cecaic0609]

Originally Posted by MrsAlias There is no right or wrong answer, its personal choice. I allow my daughter (whos 10 months) to cry for 5 mins, then I check on her to make sure something is not wrong, like messy diaper, missing passie or lost blanket. I tuck her in again, let her know I love her, and leave. And repeat every 5 mins until she stops.

This is just about to the tee of what I do. My daughter will be a year next week. The only thing I'd add about my situation is after about 3 tries if it doesn't work, I usually end up picking her up and either letting her stay up a little longer or rocking her to sleep (but it honestly doesn't happen that often).

[amylynne01]

Before I answer, please let it be known that I don't like CIO, but I understand its value. Therefore, my answer may be biased.

I think that 2 months is way too young to CIO. Your daughter will not get it. At 2 months, she needs something, whether it be a breast/bottle, a clean diaper, a warmer sleeper, a lighter sleeper, or just more snuggles. She was so used to being in your belly all tight and warm, and we as parents just expect them to adjust right away and sleep good. We have to teach our kids how to get to sleep on their own. By CIO at a young age, we're telling our kids that we will not help them when they need us, regardless of the reason. Your DD is still a newborn and needs her mom. It is SOOO hard because you want her to sleep so you can sleep lol, but that time is SOOO short. My baby is 15 months old, and I miss that snuggle time so much.

That being said, as a last resort, I have used CIO on my baby. She still wakes at night 1-3 times a week, and there is nothing else I can do for her. She doesn't get a night bottle, her diaper is dry, and she doesn't want mama cuddles. She cries at most 5 minutes before I'll go in again to give her a kiss, snuggle her, tuck her, rub her back, and walk out while she's still awake. I never have to go back in a second time because she is able to realize that it's night time and time to sleep.

Do you put her down while she's drowsy but awake? If you put her down asleep, she'll associate falling asleep with being in your arms, so if she wakes, she needs that association again. When I was trying to get my girls to sleep on their own, I would practice on naps first. Any time they fell asleep in my arms, I would put them down, but if they woke, I would rub their backs, speak softly, and stay with them to help them get back to sleep. Then once we did that okay, I put them down drowsy and rubbed their backs to help them sleep. Then stopped rubbing backs but still stayed with them. It took a long time, but they learned to self-soothe without a lot of tears (from me or them lol). Once we conquered naps, we did bed time, but I remember holding them for naps until they were 2-3 months old.

Do you swaddle her? Some babies like that tight confined feeling instead of flailing in a crib. What about a bassinet? It might give a little more cozy feeling for her. Doe she use a pacifier (GASP!)? Again, some like it, some don't. My DD1 sucks her thumb, and DD2 needs a 12 step program. Do you use white noise like a fan or light music? Do you recreate bedtime routine for naptime? So if you turn down the lights, read a story, snuggle, and feed before bed, do something similar at naptime to help her associate that routine with sleep.

I personally feel that CIO has its place, but it's not appropriate for a 2 month old who is still adjusted to being in this world. For older infants who have the developmental capabilities to get it and realize that mama is helping me sleep, and she'll be back in the morning, it is more suitable.

Sorry for the long winded response.

[Lovesgreatdeals]

It's so hard to know! We started around 2-3 months when I decided I couldn't let him sleep in my arms anymore. I read 2 different books. One was strict, one was not. I decided it was best for us to let him learn early to go sleep on his own. I would also go in and talk to him and put my hand on him for a few minutes and leave. Sometimes he just needed to be rocked.The most he cried was 40 minutes. After that, I thought it was too much and I would go in and rock him to sleep. The strict books say no to that. It took him until he was 7 months to mostly fall asleep on his own with no crying. It wasn't until 9 months that he went to sleep on his own every night. It takes a while and each child is different. I couldn't wait for the day when I could lay him into bed and know he would stay asleep. He's 18 months and I still can't help to rock him. Now once he's down, he's down for 11 hours! You'll get there!

[kschick96]

Just some ideas for you...


Everything I've heard about CIO, suggests that you wait until the infant is 6 months old and then you go in every 5 min, and check on them/softly comfort them.

She may have reflux and that is why she screams when you put her flat on her back, try proping up one end of the mattress so it's a little bit higher than the other end, put her head at the higher end and this may help control her acid. You may want to try to let her sleep in her swing (if you have one) or car seat if she is having reflux.

Do you swaddle her? She is still very tiny and may need that "womb like" feeling. At wal mart for about $10 they have swaddle blankets that velcro, so she can he wrapped up tight and feel secure. She may not be feeling secure once she is put down and then is upset. My LO is almost 5 months and we just stopped swaddling him a couple of weeks ago at night. He still needs it for his naps and we are working on getting him to nap unswaddle. Those swaddle blankets (Brand-Summer Infant Swaddle) were a life savor for us.

Also-do you rock her to sleep? When they are that little you often times have to rock until they are in a good, hard sleep before you can lay then down and they stay asleep. You need to plan on rocking about 20 minutes after they fall asleep before you lay them down.


Here is what worked for us: Again we swaddled until he let us know he was ready to sleep unswaddled (he would fight his swaddle blanket and get very upset after being swaddled, usually babies will relax pretty quick once they are swaddled). I was a rocker and at about 4 months, I started rocking a little less and less each night-to now, I can lay him in his bed and he can put him self to sleep without rocking, but sometimes we still rock to sleep.

Hope some of this helps-keep us posted! :)
PS. Sorry for all of the typos-I am tying super fast.

[happysaver]

Have you had her checked for reflux? For the first month my son WAILED when put on his back, and slept only in my arms. If I laid him down while he was already asleep, he woke up screaming within 5 minutes. I had no clue that it was because stomach acid was rising into his throat whenever he laid flat. He now sleeps at a 30 degree angle (in a Fisher Price Rock and Play) and does great. Our doc also suggested he could sleep on his LEFT side and it worked okay.

[anothershopper2]

I personally did not try to do CIO until 4-6 months. Everything that I read said that at 4 months is when a baby starts to be able to soothe him/herself to sleep and that is a milestone. The problem with our DD was that she was small at birth and therefore needed to wake up more often than babies her age. So at 5 months when her weight became "stable" and in a reasonable percentile, the dr gave us the go ahead for overnight sleeping. DH is a big advocate of CIO. He followed what others have written above - let them cry for 5 minutes then go in and check on them and let them that everything is ok. It was tough for about 1 week and then voila - she started sleeping overnight and putting herself to sleep. She's almost 2 now, and when we switched her out of the crib and onto a twin mattress, it took about 2-3 days of this as well to reassure her that she was ok.

It is your choice what to do... but I think 2 months is a bit on the younger side. But I do know some babies (of friends) who sleeping like a pro with this CIO as young as that.

[hillaryef]

Okay...so I'm a huge fan of the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Its getting me through all three kids. I will tell you that my third child is almost 4 months old and is sleeping mostly through the night. With that said, however, I have been blessed with two great sleepers. My second child...not so much. Then again, with my first and third, I followed the book to the T, with my second...I didn't.

The author goes with this one main theory...a baby isn't able to stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time until they are at least 3 months old. Sleep encourages more sleep. So in our house...we watch the clock (seriously). I note exactly when DD wakes up and note to myself when she needs to be back in bed or we need to be out the door so she can fall asleep in her carseat. Before she was 3 months, I ALWAYS put her to bed before that 2 hours ended. Even if she didn't "seem" sleepy...she always fell asleep. Until recently, we would just rock her to sleep. Which yes is a pain b/c here I am with two other kids (3&4) and a baby who needs to be back in bed every 2 hours. But we just made it work (with lots of frustration on my part b/c I kept saying I felt very trapped..but my friends kept saying that it would be worth it.)

Note that the one child I didn't do it with...didn't sleep through the night until he was 6 months old. My first started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. DD started at 2.5 months. When I say sleep I mean...12am to 8 or 9 am. Before 8 weeks we wake the baby up to give them a night feeding. But after 2 months as long as the baby takes in the total # ounces they are supposed to get in a 24 hour period, we were allowed to let them sleep until they woke up. usually, however, we end up waking DD up in the morning. I just can't let her sleep that much.

Okay...that was long winded. Hope that helps some!