HELP - I need sleep! Swaddle/Grunting/Crying issues

[disabledvetswife]

Okay, so the pediatrician said "grunting" is normal at this stage (6 weeks).

She cannot sleep well without being swaddled because of her involuntary arms/legs flailing. However, when we swaddle her - she turns lobster red, kinda growls and then cries. We let her CIO, but after she stops crying, she still constantly struggles to get out of the swaddle. We've tried swaddling with legs out, 1 arm out, etc. but she won't sleep unless both arms are swaddled.

She's in a 3-hour pattern: Eats, takes about an hour to struggle, grunt, cry, burp, whatever. Then sleeps for about 1/2 hour soundly, then that 3rd hour (waking up I guess), she starts the grunting thing again.

It's okay during the day - even though I can't get a thing done & my 2-year old is starting to feel neglected.

But at night! My DH does the overnight feedings, but I might as well be doing them with all the noise. My DH can sleep through anything, but her constant grunting, struggling, wriggling, growling wakes me up. He fed her at 3am, swaddled her at 3:45 (gives her plenty of time to get the gas out), put her in the bassinett at 4am and she screamed, grunted, cried, wriggled, struggled, until 5am. Then up at 6:30 to eat.

Any suggestions on the sleeping/swaddling thing. I tried a sleep sack and she still flails and wakes herself up.

[jenjacobs]

I don't know much about reflux but that is the first thing that comes to mind with her grunting and being uncomfortable. You may want to read up or someone will probably post more info.

I swaddled both my babies and I learned they have to be tight, tight, tight so the baby can't struggle free. Also both of them loved sleeping in the swing as newborns, it was a lifesaver. Finally when DD had good head control (around 8 weeks) and I stopped swaddling and let her sleep on her tummy. We have had no sleeping issues since then. I was too paranoid with DS (he was my first) to let him sleep on his tummy till he was much older.

[blossomed]

Oh I can't imagine. Few thoughts, my dd slept in the swing for daytime naps, I sometimes used the bouncer seat at night. Maybe a little zylicon if the issue is gassiness. Go to local friends borrow every type of sleep aid and keep trying.

For you earplugs? sleep in another room? Do anything to get some sleep because without you will be miserable and no help to anyone. (I learned this the hard way, by ending up in the hospital. it was the worst lesson to learn. Thankfully it was only my dd first week of life, grandma was here and I wised up quick)

One last thing, I think you probably know this but it is always a good reminder. Relax, take some deep cleasing breaths, do some yoga stretches and remember this too shall pass. She may sense your frustration which only makes her more frustrated. make an ipod list of music you like (and can sing to her). have you had a good cry - sometimes losing it that way helps us gain it back.

(hugs)

[tacatcon]

Oh I get it. The first thing i thought of when you said constant grunting is reflux. Is she having alot of gas, spitty alot? Cry alot after she eats?

If yes, I'd definitely ask about reflux.

I can only suggest some baby yoga, it does help with getting gas out and relaxing the baby. there's a lot of very simple things you can do with her without having to go take a class. My littlest one and I made it to one mommy and me baby yoga class before she ended up hospitalized so I didn't learn much but I knew enough to do a few things with her. Also, maybe one of those bears that has the heart beat sound that imitates how it sounds to the baby when still in the womb? I never tried one of those but people swear by them.

congrats on the baby by the way! I didn't realize you had given birth already! Hope you are feeling ok!!

[flpmommy]

Grunting and squirming is definitely a sign of reflux. Even if she isn't spitting up, she can have reflux. My son had the same symtoms and I knew what to look for because my daughter had reflux. I would go talk to your pediatrician.

What has worked for us until she hits the magical 2 month mark is gripe water. Works wonders. My son also escaped from any possible swaddle then we were given a Woombie. Award Winning baby Swaddler!I swear it is amazing. Look into getting one. Check Craigslist in your area to see if anyone has one. It is a life saver. Definitely worth the $25 if you have to buy a new one. My son is now 5 months old and loves it. It allows him to stretch and get comfy while still feeling secure. He was 5 weeks early so techinically he's only 3 1/2 months based on his due date. I panic everytime I have to wash it because he definitely is "addicted" to it.

Other than the Woombie, pick up a copy of The Baby Whisperer. This saved my sanity with my first born. Your daughter is really to young to CIO. I think if you get her on a schedule such as the Baby Whisperer's EASY schedule and talk to your pediatrician about treating her for reflux, you'll have some restful nights.

Good luck!

[melodyjg]

I had issues with my older son that were similar.....until I figured out his pattern

I would feed him and burp and then put him down and within a half an hour he was back up with the fussiness, flailing, grunting thing.

Then one day when I had time and sat there an extra half hour while watching a movie....he had already burped but I just kept him there patting him and you know after another half hour he burped again. I laid him down and he SLEPT for over 4 hours!!! You can bet the next night I burped him until he had burped twice and from that point on I was getting at least 3 to 4 hours of sleep before he woke up again.

It was hard in the middle of the night because all you want to do is go back to sleep but that extra time burping really paid off in the sleep department.

Hope it all works out for you soon.

[happysaver]

Sounds VERY familiar! My 2 month old didn't sleep for the first month he was home. Screaming, grunting, throat clearing, constantly wanting to nurse (we're talking 5-6 hours at a time!). I really thought I was going insane, as I only slept 2 hours a night (for a month!). Like the other posters mentioned, it turned out to be reflux. He's still being treated for it, because we've yet to find the best solution. However, here's what helps us (this is per our pediatric gastroenterologist):

1. Hold baby upright for 45 minutes after every feeding.

2. Never lay baby flat on their back, especially after eating. (We only lay ours flat to change him BEFORE he eats.) During the day, either hold the baby or use a swing/bouncy seat. For sleeptime, see suggestion #3.

3. Baby should sleep at a 30 degree angle. This has to be pretty exact, because less of an angle won't help. The LIFESAVER for us has been the Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper. It's $50, and worth every single penny! It's a 30 degree angle bassinet, and it's the first to be approved for nighttime sleep. It's padded and hugs them slightly, so they feel secure, plus you can use a swaddle and still buckle them into it. The first night we put our baby in it, he slept 7 hours straight (at 6 weeks old!). He'd never slept more than 2 hours in a row, so yes, we believe this thing is the reflux holy grail.

4. Do small, frequent feedings instead of larger ones.

If it is reflux, you might see some strange behaviors during feeding, like back arching, pulling away when still hungry, rubbing her face with her fist, or banging her head against your chest. I hope it's not reflux, but if it is, these things should help.

Good luck.

[amylynne01]

Like others, first thing I thought of was reflux. DD2 had reflux when she was itty bitty, but it was more silent reflux - didn't show the typical signs like back arching or not wanting to eat, but was very uncomfortable and didn't like to lay down after eating. She was on Zantac for about 8 months before we weaned her off of it. Now she's just fine.

Have you also considered formula or dairy issues? Formulas have slightly different formulations, so maybe the one you're using is not agreeing with her totally. Or try a different kind (ie go to soy or RTF). DD2 cannot have any dairy, and she had similar symptoms until we figured it out. (She was on Zantac but it didn't fix her irritability, lack of sleeping, and being so miserable.) She may be really uncomfortable if her belly is hurting. Both regular and soy formulas have dairy in them, so she is on Similac Alimentum which is hypoallergenic and made for babies who have dairy sensitivities.

Even at 6 weeks, she should be able to sleep longer than 1/2 hour, so it sounds like there is something going on. I am sending lots of sleep vibes to you and our family. I remember not sleeping at all for 4 months - DD2 was a TOUGH baby.

[Jessi]

Originally Posted by jenjacobs I don't know much about reflux but that is the first thing that comes to mind with her grunting and being uncomfortable. You may want to read up or someone will probably post more info. I swaddled both my babies and I learned they have to be tight, tight, tight so the baby can't struggle free. Also both of them loved sleeping in the swing as newborns, it was a lifesaver. Finally when DD had good head control (around 8 weeks) and I stopped swaddling and let her sleep on her tummy. We have had no sleeping issues since then. I was too paranoid with DS (he was my first) to let him sleep on his tummy till he was much older.

My DD had the acid reflux bad. My best advice...is try her out in her car seat strapped in and cover her up. That will also control her from moving and waking herself up so much. Just put her in it when she wants to sleep. Trust me it worked wonders for me and my boyfriend. We got more sleep doing that.

DD was also allergic to milk based formula.....she was on soy until we weened her off at a year old. She drinks whole milk just fine.

[happysaver]

Amylynne made a good point that I forgot to bring up. In addition to my son's reflux, he was suffering from a dairy/soy protein intolerance. It triggered his reflux, and also made him want to eat more, which made him more sick. It was a pretty vicious cycle. After trying several formulas, we switched him to a highly hypoallergenic formula called Neocate.

A common sign of protein intolerances (which can be from dairy, soy, corn, etc. and are found in both breastmilk and formula) is mucous in their stool.

He kind of defied the whole "not wanting to eat" sign of reflux/intolerances. Instead, he over-ate, and gained over half a pound a week for quite a while.

I highly recommend a pediatric gastroenterologist if you see any other symptoms.