Need advice on dealing with picky eater

[Nimbus254]

My 4 year old DS has been a picky eater for as long as I can remember. When he was very small, he would spot peas that I'd try to hide under spoonfuls of applesauce and point to them and say, "Dat?".

The problem is that dinnertime has become very stressful. Last night, for instance, we had breaded chicken breasts, mashed potatoes and corn. The last time I got him to try mashed potatoes, he chewed one spoonful about 50 times and still had trouble swallowing it. So last night, I said, "You don't have to eat any mashed potatoes, but I would like you to try a spoonful of corn to go along with your chicken."

After much crying and complaining, he opened his mouth for a spoonful of corn. He almost spit it out immediately, and ended up gagging as he tried to chew it and swallow it. I think part of the problem is that he is very stubborn. He will insist that he doesn't like something that he's never even had before, and once his mind is made up that he doesn't like it, that's it.

If we're having something he says he doesn't like, and there are leftovers in the fridge that he does like, I'll let him have the leftovers. But I won't cook something up just for him when he's being picky. My mom always said that she wasn't running a diner, and I'm not, either!

I've read that it's not a good idea to make mealtime a battleground because it can cause food issues in your children. And I'm tired of the constant struggle to get him to eat certain things. I'm ready to give up and never try to make him eat something he doesn't want to eat ever again. But I'm worried that he'll end up being malnourished. He's already short and skinny for his age, but his pediatrician says he's healthy and growing nicely.

The things he loves to eat are:
breaded chicken
meatballs
french fries
plain pasta, though he'll occasionally eat it with sauce
white rice
macaroni and cheese
bacon and eggs
bread
cheese
yogurt (I think he'd eat five yogurts a day if I let him)
fruit

He refuses to eat vegetables except for potatoes in french fry or tater tot form. He gets one cup of juice a day, and gets milk with his meals. He gets dessert if he eats all of his dinner. That is part of the problem, too: that he wants dessert, but doesn't want to have to eat his dinner to get it.

I was a picky child, and my parents made me sit at the table for hours when I wouldn't eat my food. (I guess he gets the pickiness and stubbornness from me ). But I eventually started to try more foods when I hit my teenage years. Should I just hope that he outgrows this?

Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks!

[Sweet_Southern_Mama]

For a 4-year-old the variety of foods he'll eat sounds pretty good to me. My younger sister (now 9) wouldn't eat anything but chicken nuggets and macaroni & cheese for the longest. She even orders pizza and takes everything off it (yes even the cheese) and eats it like that.

[saving-n-va]

Check out the Sneaky Chef website...with the list of what he likes, you can hide some pureed veggies in several of them.

[foggierbard9]

My brother was a picky eater...and still wont eat much veggie wise. My mom would always give him a raw potato when we had any kind of potato that wasn't french fries. He would smother green beans in ketchup and still gag to swallow them.

Now(that he is grown up) he will eat raw vegetables more than cooked. Raw he will eat zucchini, cucumbers, potatoes, carrots, lettuce...cooked he will eat corn.

I know with our son(who is 2) he eats what is on his plate or he doesn't eat, but that is just us. We don't have a problem with him though and never have. He would take a green bean over fruit somedays.

[Nimbus254]

Thanks for the Sneaky Chef suggestion! I'll have to check that out.

DS is weird with certain textures. He loves yogurt, but only the Thick and Creamy kind or Whips kind. He doesn't like yogurt with chunks of fruit in it. He won't eat any kind of crunchy vegetable. And with the mashed potatoes, it's like he has a big ball of cotton in his mouth. :shrug7:

At Thanksgiving, he only ate turkey and a roll. I tried hard to get him to try the stuffing, pointing out that it was only bread and that he loves bread, but it ended in tears.

Most of the time if he doesn't want to eat what we're having (and if there are no other leftovers in the fridge), then he just doesn't eat. We let him know that if he says he's hungry later, he's going to be given a plate of the dinner we just had, and not a snack of some sort. But I always worry about him going hungry since he's thin already.

[CW&M Mom]

If he's gagging on it, it sounds like a texture thing as well..and honestly making a battle of it will just make it worse.

I would suggest googling food chaining...where you make a different food in a similar fashion...as they are more apt to accept it.

If it makes you fell better my daughter ate chester puffcorns for thanksgiving dinner...and marshmallows for dessert.

She will eat
Dry things like crackers, puffcorns, poptarts
wheat bread
cucumbers plain
apples peeled
banana's
green beans (only canned)
garlic mashed potatoes (won't do regular)
chicken nuggets
french fries
yogurt
cottage cheese
chicken nuggets
cheese
marshmallows
dum dums
smarties

and that's it. And she won't put them in her mouth...she just immediatly hucks them on the floor...I feel your pain. She won't even eat chocolate.

[cintinative]

My four year old is picky, but he doesn't have the texture issues yours does. Do you think it is a stubborness thing or is he actually having trouble swallowing? Anyway, my five year old nephew has been infamously stubborn since he was about two and will not eat anything but applesauce (in a cup), cheese sticks, yogurt, peanut butter on crackers, chicken nuggets (but only the banquet kind or McDonalds), and bananas on occasion. He had a huge issue with texture too--he never ate above stage 2 baby food because he didn't like the chunks. Anyway, it turned out to be a huge deal. I mean, after five years my SIL was tired of not being able to go get pizza or having to bring special food all the time. He literally would not try anything. So, they had to kind of force the issue--he wouldn't eat unless he ate what he was given. I guess what I am saying is, if you can, don't let your child dictate your menu. Keep cooking what you normally would. If he/she doesn't eat it, they don't eat. Period. Otherwise two or three years from now you will really be hating life. It will be hard for a time obviously, especially if they are as strong willed as my nephew (he once did not eat for 48 hours solid), but in the end you will win and you will be so grateful you stood firm. If they get hungry enough, they will eat what you give them. This is more of a battle of wills than a battle of taste. In the meantime, you can try introducing more veggies by pureeing them. There is cookbook called Deceptively Delicious that tells you how to work them into other recipes.

[saving-n-va]

Originally Posted by Nimbus254 Thanks for the Sneaky Chef suggestion! I'll have to check that out. DS is weird with certain textures. He loves yogurt, but only the Thick and Creamy kind or Whips kind. He doesn't like yogurt with chunks of fruit in it. He won't eat any kind of crunchy vegetable. And with the mashed potatoes, it's like he has a big ball of cotton in his mouth. :shrug7: .

You are welcome, I wish I had found the Sneaky Chef site years ago. My ds was picky like yours when he was little and my dh IS picky. So I sneak in pureed veggies whenever I can. DH has the texture issues with foods. Jessica Seinfeld also has a book out I think its called Deceptively Delicious. Between the two sites I think you will get at least a few ideas of what you can do to get some more foods into his diet.

[cintinative]

I should add that when he did not eat for 48 hours, that was per the pediatrician's direction (keep feeding him the meal until he ate it) and my SIL did give in after 48 hours b/c she couldn't take it anymore. He was 3 then. He is now 5 and she has just recently tried again and he is finally caving. He actually ate pizza the other day. Anyway, just wanted to acknowledge this is not going to be an easy process, and like any other mom, the idea of your child going without food is not pleasant.

[mom2lucas]

DS is a picky eater, but so is his father. DH grew up having pancakes, Frosted Flakes, pot roast, hamburgers, spaghetti, fried chicken, country ham, and ham sandwiches. That was their menu. They also had mashed or fried potatoes at every meal and bread with every meal. Most often corn would be their veggie. Little or no green stuff. He was eating Chef Salads by time I can along, but I had to trick him into trying new things at first. That sounds awful, but it had to be. I cannot survive on that high calorie, high fat diet he was used to. Unlike his 125 pound self, I'd weigh 400 pounds if I ate like that everyday.

DS has issues with anything green except Romaine lettuce and celery. He will refuse to eat any type of soup, but he'll eat stews if I strain the broth off. He loves fruit, especially apples and pineapples, but he cannot survive on bread, fruit, and chicken alone. He'll eat chicken almost anyway I make it, but there are only about two or three ways he'll eat beef. He does like fish and shrimp, but we only have seafood once or twice a week. Sometimes he'll eat mashed potatoes, sometimes he refuses and cries. He'll eat cheese anyway you put it before him. I tried putting cheese on broccoli once, but he just licked the cheese off. DS and DH would live on chips, popcorn, ice cream, brownies, and cake if I would let them, but I try to keep a handle on the amount of that stuff that is easily accessible at any given time.

I'm going to check out the Sneaky Chef site and the book mentioned above. I do sneak veggies in sometimes, but I could learn some new ways to do it! DD will eat ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING. As long as Mommy has it on her plate, DD is good to go. She refused fish the first time we served it to her, but she eats it now like a pro.