Baby making days are over, anybody else done?

[BigDog]

Well, husband is clipped. Apparently it worked.

A little saddened. I would have had 10 kids if I could. I 'only' have 5. My body just couldn't handle another child. Oh well, I suppose twice the amount of everything for the children I have. Twice the money, twice the attention, and twice the space in the house (albeit small feeling already).

Anyways, who else is through? Why? (want to, have to, or just other reasons) And, how? (he is "fixed", your are "fixed", or other)

And how long did it take, till you were actually "excited" that it "worked"?:shrug7:

[hbaqueen]

Hugs! Its so hard to come to the realization your done when you dont want to be.

Were done or atleast I am. Long story but basically they nearly killed me having DS and afterwards was left with insane infection and had to have a 2nd surgery to remove the damage done. And be on home health for a 3 months. Painful awful experience. But honestly Id have risked it and had another one anyway. Until I got diagnosed with Myasenthia Gravis and that keeps your body from healing after surgeries which dr said chicken/egg the mg could have been in my body and was brought out by the trauma or the trauma could have been a result of the mg. So between the two against me its just tooooo risky and I wouldnt leave the one Ive got for anything so Id risk it if it were me but I wont risk him losing his mommy.
Plus there are days I have difficulty taking care of one because Im in so much pain so I guess its best I dont have a house full. And were poor so its best to only have to try to put one thru college ect.

But its hard. Its an every day emotional battle with myself.

Weve finally started talking about the big V but I dont know. I just dont feel right asking DH to do that. I know this sounds morbid but Ive got so many health issues and cancer risks and I just think what if I die before hes out of his child bearing years then its not fair to him to have to give up his dreams.
I know he will never leave me and he will deal with not being able to have anymore while were here on this earth together but I feel guilty asking him to do that when its a likely possibility that at some point I wont be around and he could have babies with someone else. Like I said morbid I know but that is just how my crazy brain works.
And I cant have another surgery of any kind unless its an emergency so cant go that route.
So it sucks even worse b/c we have to be careful ;) lol

OKay Im rambling and I need to shut up but anyways Hugs to you!

[beth119]

DH and I are done. ANd we are *both* fixed.

OUr third child, our only girl, who is almost 5... was completely unplanned. LONG story. We have 2 boys who are 7 and 8, also.

We decided to be COMPLETELY done for a few reasons. First, I have some issues with my uterus. Its not very strong, had already tore, and carrying DD was difficult. When I first was pregnant with her, my OB reccomended terminating the pregnancy for my own health. When I decided to give it a go, she said that we would try to get as far as possible. Well... I went into labor at 22-23 weeks, was able to stop it, and thankfully, made it to 34. The whole pregancy was really really tough. But... I had a girl :) So that was a primary reason.

2. I HATED being pregnant all 3 times, and really don't like BABIES. Obviously, I took care of mine, but I do not EVER want to have to go through incesant crying, sleepless nights, etc... The selfish side of me :) I like my big kids.

3. Affordability. We can easily afford all three of our kids, and we LIKE it that way. DH grew up dirt poor, and basically compensates for EVERYTHING he never got through our children. I grew up a bit spoiled with EVERYTHING and wanted to be able to do that for ours. And we do.

4. Time. I have a TON of siblings from my parents various marriages, and there just wasn't ever enough time. Not to mention, both my parents were workaholics. I wanted to be able to give each child the one on one time they need and deserve, and not be spread too thin. This really is just an insecurity carried over from my own childhood.


A lot of people ask me if I regret it. I have NEVER wished for one more or anything like that. Neither has DH. My DD has a chronic disease, and that seems to take up a lot of energy and time, and I can't imagine having another child after her to keep up with. I can honestly say, I COULDN'T do it. I know my own limitations.
Now, I really wish that one of DH and I's NINE siblings would hurry up and have babies... I do like SHOPPING for them. :)

[hbaqueen]

See Beth I wish I had that experoence it would be easier to say Im glad to be done but I LOVED being pregnant well I didnt love 3 months of of all day morning sickness but I didnt even mind it that bad b/c I knew it had a purpose. Labor was never painful LONG (16+hours) but not painful but then again his head was too big to come out and after 3 hours of pushing I had to give up and have a C so I didnt get the burning ring of fire head coming out pain but contractions were not too bad. I didnt even want the epidural and it hurt worse then the pain. But lucky I went ahead with it bc I was able to be awake for the emergency C that way.

And DS was a perfect baby he slept great rarely ever cried. Was sleeping completely thru the night at 3 months and only to get up for a feeding or two before that.
BUt we paid for that early sleep later because even now he gets up a couple times at night wanting a drink.

[tacatcon]

Oh I'm so done. LOL
My third child, my dd was unplanned but she is my SO's only biological child so I'm glad of course he got to go through the whole experience.

And wouldn't trade her in for the world.

But he did get a vasectomy to make sure we would be done. I developed a blood clot either during my pregnancy or right when I delivered her that luckily they discovered when I was still in the hospital. And she has had a lot of health problems. So I wouldn't chance another pregnancy even if I wanted more kids.

Lifestyle wise, I'm done. I was really ready to be done before her. My older two are 15 and 12 and I was getting used to having a little bit of me to myself again. But I get baby pangs when i see little infants. Of course I have my 6 week old nephew and my cousin is having his first soon so that'll get me through for awhile! there are times that I wish I could have one more without the complications and worries that we had with my youngest who I thought would be my "easy baby" where I could relax more and not be so stressed as a new mommy.

Moneywise, I'm done. We can just make it through right now with the new mortgage. And i want to go back to work some day (maybe).

So yep I'm done and couldn't be happier.

[tllgreene]

Well I'm pregnant at the moment but this will be it for me. I have a DD that just turned 8 when "surprise" I find out I'm having another. I am totally excited about having another, my husband only wanted 1, but I will be happy to have only 2. I'm looking at my options now for a permanent fix. Looks like tubal or essure. I have to have a c-section so I don't know if tubal is the way to go since I'm already there and open. I like the other option because there is no cutting involved. Anyone had the essure procedure? How long do I have to wait after childbirth to get it done?

[shetlandponyluvr]

We're pretty sure we're through. Not that we want to be though. I had a pretty serious infection after DS#2, so it's safe to say that with all the trauma of that, I'm infertile. However, we'd really love to adopt one day! We'd also be thrilled with a "surprise"!

[tmsmalley]

I was 39 when I started and we're done after 2. Dh has 2 girls with his first wife too, so that's 4 girls for him total. When we met he told me he was pretty sure he didn't want anymore at all. Fortunately, that changed.

When my first was born we were on the fence about another given my age and all. So much on the fence that one day I found myself in the store buying Kotex and a pregnancy test at the same time. I figured I was either pregnant or PMS, surprise! We talked all through my pregnancy that I would get fixed since they were going to be doing a repeat c-section anyway. About a week before the big day, dh waffled. He made a comment about maybe trying for another some time, so I said no to the permanent fix for me. He immediately tried to take it back, but I was not going to do something permanant if there were any doubts for either of us.

I told him that we wouldn't talk about it again until the baby was 6 months old. When she was 6 months and 1 day, he had an appointment to see the vasectomy doctor. The surgery was scheduled a couple weeks later. He was NOT going to miss the window with any waffles again!

I had a horrible miserable 9 months of pregnancy especially with my second but if I'd been 10 years younger, I would have gone for one more. We're very happy with the 2 we've got though.

Tess

[sbp]

We have the 2 boys, ages 7 and 5 and we are done!

Dh really wanted to have 2 kids and ideally we would have wanted them to be 2 years apart. Anyways we were having a few issues at the time (aka dh being a complete jerk), and I can honestly say when I found out I was pregnant with #ds2, it was a complete surprise!!! As it turns out getting pregnant happened just after I stopped nursing #ds1 and what I thought was just a weird starting again cycle, ended up being spotting at around week 6 of the pregnancy. It also turned out that my little wake up conversation to dh to shape up or ship out happened before I knew I was pg. So with all that was going on, I was actually
12-13 weeks along by the time I took the home test and then went to the dr.

Baby #1 was a breech baby so a scheduled c-section and since our hospital doesn't do VBAC's we knew at the beginning we'd have another scheduled c-secstion. Thankfully we stayed at our hospital instead of opting to go to one that does VBACs for 2 reasons. DS#2 was breech also AND after delivery, I started bleeding bad, REALLY bad, so bad that I almost ended up with a partial hysterectomy right then and there, but they managed to get the bleeding stopped. The dr was amazing and didn't tell me that there were any issues going on until they had things under control and then when he did tell me I had a panic attack, while still cut wide open.

He was already on deck with us to do a tubal once the baby was out, and once the bleeding had stopped and I was back to calm, he asked if the tubal was still on. I double checked that ds#2 was ok and then gave him the go ahead to go ahead with the tubal.

I was a wreck anyways when I was pregnant, because of my very first pregnancy ending in an early miscarriage so if we were going to go again, I would have been nervous not only about another miscarriage but also about bleeding out during delivery.

But even if I didn't have all that pregnancy/delivery history, we'd be done with our 2. They don't outnumber us (lol) and we are in a financial state where they have all that they NEED with some spoiling with extras here and there, along with some things that they don't need but we want them to have.

DH wanted to be done with having kids by the time he turned 40 = DS#2 was born in July and hubby turned 40 that next February, so we were pretty close on that, and I was hoping to be done by the time I was 35. I made that by a year and a week!!!

[SyLph211]

We are done. I am hoping to get the surgery the first of the year to make sure we are done. I had complications with my DS and hated being pregnant. My DD was an easy but suprise pregnancy and we are dealing with a serious medical condition with her so we are really DONE. I am not sad at all. We are comfortable with the two we have and that is fine with me.