Potty Training advice

[mycouponhunter]

Urgh, i'm so frustrated! My daughter is so close to potty training I can see the goal but there is a big road block she won't sit on the toilet. Tonight she took off her pants and pullups on her own and basically changed herself with a little help with me and I thought she is way past ready. We've been trying to potty train her for a good year but she won't sit on the toilet. Whenever I try she screams and pitches a fit and stiffens herself up so I can't sit her on it. I feel bad thinking okay she's scared of it. I have both the little toilet which she thinks is a toy and won't sit on it and the big toilet with the seat on top and she won't sit on either. I've tried everything. I tried bribery and even tonight I sat on top of the ducky seat and her on top on my lap while I sat on it thinking I better not do this too long because she might pee on me. She didn't want to put her pullup on so I put underwear on her and then I told her that when she had to go peepee to let me know but then I thought she's not going to go on the toilet so this is when I tried again without any progress. She's almost 3 and I don't understand why she won't go. We've wwtched the videos, books, etc and read the websites and wanted to know if anyone has any suggestions.

[Annaquin]

My only suggestion is this- take a little break from it for a week or two (not so long as that she will forget!) just long enough to de stress a little. Then try again.

I feel your pain though- I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old, both have issues and with the 4 year old we were told by docs/therapists there wasn't much hope of him potty training at all, with the 3 year old we were told maybe by the time he was 6 or 7- but DH and I decided just to make it a goal for them anyway, we tried every method/book known to man over the past 2 years, and finally just 3 days ago it just clicked for them, now my 4 yr old is pooing and peeing in the potty, and my 3 year old is peeing, our issue is whenever we put any clothes on them, they forget! So at the moment we have two naked little boys running around (I'm going to hate seeing our heating bill!) DH and I joke we are going to have to find a nudist colony to take us in. But honestly, for us, we had decided to take a month break on the potty training issue when our new baby came along, (she was born oct 7th) and that is when it clicked for them.

[wholesalebiker]

roadblock-pullups! I know who wants a child w/ wet pants! See if you can get her in big girl underwea w/ plastic exterior liners...take her shopping let herpickher fav charcter...oh no yo wet minnie mouse! time to go! Children don't get the feeling of being wet from ullups! but when they soak underpants it's a whole new feeling forthem!! Even something special something new you took the to get!!! the first two weeks will suck laundary queen! but..it willwork ! if you have potty storyboosks you siton big toilet have her sit on toy tolet..and read story inbathroom!

[JrandMdB]

I gotta say the pull-ups also.. what I would do is the same as the PP said. Go for some real under-panties and plastic over top and once she starts to "feel" that wetness you might have an easier time of it. I wouldnt force her to go to the bathroom.. I wouldn't even mention it, I would simply mention it each time I went to the bathroom about how "Mommy is going to the bathroom" ect and just ask her to come along.. if she does great.. if not, no problem.

You might even give some thought to when you go to sit on the toilet yourself.. turn around if you can and sit on it backwards. I have had and seen some little kids are scared of it no matter what kind of seat is on it and if they can turn around and have something to hold on to, it helps.. sounds off the wall I know but hey.. its worth a try!

All of mine were 3 to 3 1/2 yrs. old before they were potty trained... GL!

[momto8kiddos]

I agree with taking a break. Sometimes that's all it takes. You might also want to consider covering the hole in the potty chair with a piece of wood. Then bring it out to the den where she can sit on it. Hopefully she won't balk at it as a simple chair. That way she gets used to sitting on it. Just an idea.

[keuer72]

Maybe try letting her have a special toy she can bring in to occupy her time on potty. Thats what my lil one likes to do. Also she usually follows me around everywhere I go, but has seen me on the potty too. Just saying mommy has to go potty...and have her follow you and see that its not scary mommy does it ( not making her sit after or anything, just to see how you do too ya know). Well good luck : )

[434Teresa]

I have twins they just truned three..julia is now doing both in the potty and she wears her regular undees to bed also every morning I get up to wet sheets but we just clean it up and move on..Alex well is another story he will pee but no way will he pooh in th potty he wears underwear all day until it gets dark and then he cries for a diaper.For three days I would not let him have a diaper at dark and he would cry for two hours because his tummy hurt because he needed to pooh then he would give in and go pooh in the potty well his doctor told me not to do that because it would hurt him in the end more so then just giving him the diaper for awhile longer. I am like its time he is three(nov 5)the doctor said no its not time or he would be doing it. So that night I gave him a pull up and he was so happy, he sees julia go potty so I hope he will decide he is ready soon..

At the start Julia was the one that would not sit on the potty or even go in the bathroom,so I put her doll on the little potty seat a few times and played like she was going to the potty alex was right there with me julia standing outside the door watching. I would take the doll from the seat and tell her how good she did and all that oh her name is kim(the doll) I would even act like I dumped the seat out soon julia was in there wantting to help her doll and I would ask her if she wantted to try it to..

Yes you do need to try to let her wear regular undees instead of pull ups, if she gose a few times and gets her clothes wet she will want to go potty instead and yes she will cry when she dose it but she will learn soon to go potty for they dont like wet clothes either. onice I got julia to set on the potty I had to put regular undees on her to get her to pee in it if not she would pee in the pull up. They wore pull ups at night and when we had to run to town, then I stop letting them wear them to town..

We are not there yet but we have it made half way.. Alex is just the baby he was sick when he was born so we all baby him even julia. If you think this is hard on you well I have two teen boys and both of them were potty trained when they turned 2, so I cant get why these two have had such a hard time with it.

you may just have to back off and give her more time like the doctor told me about alex going pooh in the potty. I am ready for this to be over with but alex ant and one way or the other he going to win and I dont want to hurt his insides by not giving him a pullup/diaper to pooh in a little longer..

[mkmattingly]

I'll preface this with it is easier if one parent can stay home with the child over the course of about a week, but even if not, it can be done. First, relax, it's not a big deal. Somehow this concept of potty training has gotten waaaaay too stressful for parents. I'm sure your child can probably use a fork and spoon to eat their dinner with, right? I bet you didn't stress out over that when you were teaching them how to use them. Take the same approach with potty training.

Secondly, the child has to own the process. You can not, under any circumstances make them go potty. Once the child learns that this is expected of him, that he owns the process, and that he can't circumvent the process, he'll go potty. But if you try to force the issue, you've given him an opportunity to be defiant, and he's already won.

I personally am a HUGE believer in John Rosemond, who basically says make no big deal of it, make the child responsible, and expect success. I know it works, all three of my children were potty trained around their second birthday, within 1 to 2 weeks, with minimal accidents after that. Yes, I know there are genuine exceptions, children who have physical or medical issues that delay their training, but by and large, most children can be potty trained relatively easily by the age of 2 or shortly thereafter.

Here are some articles written by Rosemond, or you can go to the library and get his book Making the Terrible Twos Terrific where he discusses his method of preparing for the white porcelin throne.

Toilet training an oversized issue

ROSEMOND: Don't start late on potty training - Washington Times

John Rosemond: Potty training takes a firm approach and should start earlier than later | potty, approach, rosemond - Life - Gaston Gazette

Feel free to PM me if you have questions, as I'm sure there's a segment of people who will read this and make all kinds of assertions as to why I'm nuts. But I have no problem saying most any 2 year old can be potty trained following these methods, as they aren't my methods, just old fashioned methods that have been around for years.

[tmsmalley]

I agree. Relax. Take a break. Try big girl panties. Try having her watch you and talking about what big girls do. Don't flush while she's in the room, the noise may be scaring her. Dr. Phil also has some stuff on his web page about this. His system involves a drink and wet doll, lots of juice or soda that your child likes and a big reward. Check it out.

And hang in there. I was ready to pull my hair out with my youngest but one day she just decided she was a big girl and that was that.

Tess