A question for those with Twins

[kimandkathess]

Ok, i have a question for all the people out there with twins. Do young feel wierd seprating them? My twins who are 1 boy and 1 girl will be turning 3 this year. My husband suggested that he take our son with him while he goes and doers what he does and I would take our daughter and go shopping. To me it feels wierd to seperate them. We only ever seprerated them once from eachother. I am I doing them harm by not seperating them? They can be playing and if one doesnt see the other they go find him/her. Thats just how it is. They have never been without eachother. I don't even like to let one sleep in their room without the other. I know they are the their own person but i just can't let myself seperate them. Did anyone else with twins feel this way??

~~Katrina~~

[queenofthehivemomof5]

I have boy girl twins but always viewed them as separate little people. I enjoy giving them one on one mommy/daddy time something that I think all kids need, twins or not. Also they are in separate classes at pre-school and I think that has really helped them out because Carly my girl twin would do everything for Liam my boy twin and he would just sit back and let her cater to his every whim.

They are still twins and they will always have that bond but I think it is important to give them time apart so that they can develop their own personalities and whatnot. My twins will be 5 on Halloween and they are really into the twin thing right now. It is like they just discovered that they were twins. They call themselves "Super Twins" and just the other week I caught Carly telling Liam "You are my favorite twin" and he told her "And you are my favorite twin". I tell you it was the cutest. They will always be best buds but they are also their own people.

[tmsmalley]

I don't have twins, but wanted to say that it is important that they learn how to be without each other. You can't keep them joined at the hip forever and it is going to be very hard on them if the first time they are apart is the first day of Kindy. Start doing things like your hubby suggested then switch and have him take your dd while you that your ds. Even just to the grocery store. We've done this with my kids (3 and 5) and also with my step-daughters when they were young. The dynamics are totally different when you just have one instead of both. They really need that one on one thing sometimes.

Tess

[puakinikini]

My boy/girl twins just turned 4. When they were babies we always kept them together because my son had a very difficult time when his sister was not around. Once he could talk, he would obsessively ask where his sister was, even if she was just sleeping in the other room. He was very protective of her from a young age.

This is going to sound crazy but I will tell the story anyways...they were born 10 weeks early and were hospitalized in the NyICU, my daughter was very ill and almost died. My son did very well considering his prematurity, and really only need oxygen for 5 days and to grow. My son was scheduled to come home 2 weeks before his sister, the morning he was going to be discharged he stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. Here is the crazy part, we really think that he did not want to leave his sister. After he was stable they put them back in the same bed (they had moved him for discharge) and he never again had a breathing issue. He went home on the same day as her 2 weeks later. (I know, I can hear the voice of skeptics, but mom's know things - and this I know: he did not want to leave her).

As a result, I had a difficult time thinking of separating them. As life would have it, my daughter qualified for a special preschool due to her developmental delay, my son did not qualify. So we separated them at preschool. It was the best thing that could have happened to them. They still prefer each other, but now they have their own friends and own interests. They have both personally grown a lot in the past year, but this has made them closer.

I would encourage you to start small and give each of them time by themselves. My husband and I regularly divide up the kid for "special time with mommy or daddy." Because they go to different schools they have different vacation days and even start/end times - we use this to our advantage.

Good luck with your decision.

[MrsPinecone]

I was a nanny for twins.

I think it's important that they each get special time alone with mom and/or dad. They are individuals who happen to be twins.

[trishgil]

I have boy twins. They are only 2 years old, but often times I will just take one with me and one stays with Dad. They are definitly a package deal, but special one on one time with parents is essential, I think.

The only time I have a hard time leaving one is at the physical therapy office. He gets sooooo upset. I know it sounds mean to leave him, but it is important to me that he has un-interrupted- fully focused therapy session for his CP. (its only one hour long twice a week)

:0)

[splash]

My boy/girl twins are now 32 years old and I began their seperation time from the time they were infants. I made sure each one took a nap at a different time even though it was harder on me as that meant I had no nap time lol. I really think they did much better with their "only" child time given to them. It gave them a chance to be a single child not a "half" of a set. Did the dress similar thing only for pics and then quit that when they started school. Good luck.

[kimandkathess]

Thanks for all of your input everyone. To tell you the truth, i think they would be okay with being seperate from eachother, its me thats having the problem.

~~Katrina~~

[tmsmalley]

And somehow we moms survive, even when we don't think we will. These things are ALWAYS harder on us than them.

[queenofthehivemomof5]

Just think of it this way...it is SO much easier going to the grocery store with just one of the twins than with both....

If I take the twins shopping with me it takes me an hour just to run in and get bread, milk and produce. But when I just have one I can get in and out a bit faster and I don't feel like I have been hit by the tornado twins when I am done. LOL

Liam, my boy twin just loves shopping with me. He loves coupons and being mommies helper. Carly on the other hand would rather run to Home Depot with her daddy.