Kids say the darndest things! What has your LO said lately that had you in stitches?

[mom2lucas]

My DS is a little comedian. He keeps me giggling all day long. I know you all have some little jokesters too, so let's share some funny little things they've said and give each other a laugh.

My funny: DS told me that his "turtle" had a new name. He now calls it "Dragon", as in "Dragon peed all over the bathroom. I just couldn't hold him down! He is soooo strong!" DH laughed so hard he cried.

[kval07]

I have a story, maybe not hilarious, but more like, "well that little bugger!!"

DF's 4yo son was over a few weekends ago. He normally goes home Sunday morning, but this day he was going home later. He got up from his poptart breakfast to go potty, and as he is walking to the bathroom he says to me, "Krystle, I'm almost ready to go home!" I say, "Sorry, mom is working this morning, so you are going home at dinner time." Its quiet for a minute or two, so I'm thinking he's taking care of business in the bathroom. Nope. He says, "Hey Krystle?? Is poptarts dinner??"

Oy.

[tmsmalley]

We just got back from visiting with my 2 teenage step-daughters who live 8000 miles away from us. My 5 year old was trying really hard to figure out how everyone was related to everyone else and ended up in tears over the fact that she doesn't get to have a step-mother like Jessie and Shelly do!

Eeesh!

Tess

[jenrose]

My DS was watching TV one day (he was probably about 3 1/2) when a car comercial came on that showed a car pulling out of a garage. DS looks at me all confused and says hey mom why is that car in the garage. I say because that is what garages are made for so you can park your car in them. DS, "Nuh uhh, they are for toys, snowmobiles & quads".

He really had no idea that garages were actually designed for cars. Can you tell my car hasn't been in the garage in the last 4 years

[Sweet_Southern_Mama]

My Mom came over and brought my eight year old sister a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about how a guy had asked her friend how far along she was when she wasn't pregnant. We didn't think my sister was following the conversation until she piped in with "Well she can't be pregnant, she doesn't even have a husband."

We just kinda looked at each other like 'what on earth do you say to that?' and then she got this sassy tone and said "Because we all know that you have to french kiss to get pregnant and she doesn't have anybody to do that with."

[beccarae1]

My 2 1/2 year old like to tell stories, she also really likes the color pink...today she told me a story about the little girl who got lost in the pink forest...

My 6 year old twins have been listening to DH and I discuss what kind of vehicle we want to buy (mine has breathed its last) and how much we want to spend. A few days ago they brought me the contents of their piggy banks (about $20 in singles and change) and announced, "Here you go Mom, here's some money for you to buy a new van." They have also told me they have been looking for coupons for a new van for me, but they just can't find any (Can you tell they are my coupon collectors at the grocery store?)

[justusgals]

well let me preface this by saying my daughter has asperger's syndrome so everything in her world is basically black and white. she just turned 6.

she came out of the bathroom the other night sobbing borderline hysterical, it took her about 5 minutes to get to a point where she could be understood talking, she finally says, my poo drowned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! save it , it went under.

at that point i couldnt laugh, she would just start crying again, so i had to go into the whole poo was never alive explanation and she then said "ok", but all i could picture was calling the paramedics and getting the paddles out for mr hanky from south park

[mandybeyl]

My four year old asked me the other day "mom, if the sun is where light comes from, then why is it dark in outer space?" :shrug7:I said ummm I don't know son, let's go ask our friend google....

[justmama]

My two favorite from DS(now 11), i just shared on another thread...

When ds11 was 3 1/2 and in preschool, dh had a vasectomy, on a Friday. The following Monday ds proudly walks in and proclaims "Ms. Bobbie, my Daddy's winkie is all better today".

Same ds, same preschool class. Middle of April,
he asked me, "Mom who's Nafie".
I said, "who?"
DS, "Nafie"
Me, "I don't know who you are talking about, why do you want to know?"
DS, "he died"
me, "who?"
DS. "Nafie"
me, "when"
ds. "before Christmas break"
me, "who told you 'Nafie' died"
ds, "Ms Bobbie"
me, "Tyler, what did she say exactly?"
ds, "Say it loud, Police, Nafie died"
me, "Tyler it was the song you sang at the Christmas Play, Feliz Navidad"
Ds, "well they should explain it better"


DS7, when he was 4ish?

DS--Mommy, why do you exercise
me--to get into shape
ds--mommy how long has paw paw been exercising ( my dad I'm guessing is 270-280, 5'11")
me--um, he doesn't exercise
ds--well he has lots of shapes, see his big circle belly....

[#1RobThomasfan]

My DS is very quick witted...the other night we were wrestling with him when he bumped his head pretty good on DH's leg, we heard the crack...immediately we were thinking uh oh there's gonna be tears...but silly noodle stands up , rolls his eyes as if he's seeing stars , smiles and yells " AM I STILL PRETTY?" Dh and I lost it...He is my very funny and very quick witted child. Which probably saves his behind when he's testing his limits with me sometimes.