When did you know you were ready to have children?

[castocreations]

What an amazing thread!!! :)

I could NOT have dealt healthily with a child when I was 25 (6 years ago). I definitely was not ready and neither was hubby.

We have been married for 7 years (together 9 years in November) in August and spending all this time together, really getting to know each other and building our life together, has been invaluable. Throwing a kid into the mix would have not been healthy for either of us.

Are we truly ready now? I don't know and I'm completely terrified. But since I'm 7+ months pregnant I don't have much of a choice now. LOL He's coming whether I'm ready or not.

I eventually got seriously mad at my mother and mother in law and told them that hubby and I had four dogs and were perfectly happy with no kids. My mom thought she'd never have grand kids. It wasn't that I didn't want kids but I was sick of being asked about it so I just acted (to others) like I didn't want any. and apparently my act was convincing. =)

I think many folks don't spend enough time getting to know each other as a couple before having kids. Hubby and my first six years together were beyond valuable in learning and just enjoying each other.

The money argument doesn't sit that well with me...having a kid isn't about money. My great grandmother had five or six kids (I think one died before I was born) during the depression. They had NO money and yet they were clean, well fed, and well behaved. I think today people have this idea of what they "have" to have for kids and it's pretty much bunk.

Anyway...you guys will know when you're ready. You can't work on someone else's timeline or expectations so tell folks to jump off a cliff. :)

[norasmomma]

I'd say if you are 60 even 70% sure then you could do it. I had a few moments in my life where my clock was a ticking. I guess the first time we "tried" only once was when I was 22(Dh 25). We didn't get pg, but it would have been fine, but waiting was much better for us. I then had another moment where I wanted a baby when I was 25, we didn't try Dh got scared. He wasn't ready and really neither was I, I went to school instead which was better for me anyway. Then at 29 I got bit by the baby bug and it did. not. go. away. I saw babies all the time, I saw pregnant women and was jealous. That last a whole year(if not longer) until it was creating problems internally for me, that all came out in a flood when my friend got pg(she then had a m/c). Anyway I got ultra depressed, my Dh just didn't think I could handle having a child at all. I smoked, liked to party, but I was so over just being selfish. I wanted a baby......it was just the matter of fact, it was time. He finally went for it after I quit smoking cold turkey and started taking great care of myself-he saw that I was serious. We got pg a month later...it was actually his b-day present, at least when I said what do you want for your b-day, he said to get you pg.

Now here we are expecting baby #2, I'm 34 and for us this was just the right time. Some people in his family thought it was funny that we waited, but for us we had fun in our 20s and did what we wanted. Now we are into being home and being in our nest so to say. That was a big part of it for us.

Oh and worrying about affording things, well you are on HCW-so that will make things much more affordable. I already have diapers for this baby and am due in 2 months. HCW can make things so much easier with a family. It's helped our budget immensely-I wasn't supposed to SAHM, but things happened that made that happen and we actually are better off now because I am so much smarter about costs associated with life.

[shelleyf]

My husband and I never tried to have a baby. I was allergic to everything, and I mean we tried everything, lol. So we decided that we weren't going to miss out on the wonderful relationship that God created, so we prayed. We asked God to give us kids in HIS timing and He did. All of our kids are 3 years apart and we couldn't be happier. I think some people shouldn't have kids though because it take a sacrificing person to be able to raise a child. I know people who don't want to give of theirselves and that is ok. Everyone is different but I am a person who gives completely so when I got pregnant I was very happy and my husband was overjoyed too. He picked me up in the restaurant and swirled me around and told everybody that was there! We had just left the doctor's office and went out to celebrate. We were only married for 4 1/2 months when I got pregnant and dated only 4 1/2 months before we got married but I don't feel you have to be with someone a long time before raising a family. We are glad we had them young because we will only be 45 when our youngest is 18.

[shelleyf]

[CHRISTI331]

I had my son when I was 35. I am now 37 and want him to have a sibling (even though he has a 14 yr old sister--my stepdaughter). I recently went off BC. My husband is somewhat against the idea but I told him this: either we have another baby and I get my tubes tied or you're getting a vasectomy. No way am I staying on the pill any longer. Good luck to you!

[Cin42382]

When the test turns to a Plus sign LOL jk ;)

[amylynne01]

I think I was ready when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. Having children is not really something you can prepare yourself for. The emotions are so intense that nothing else compares. I knew then that I was ready to have children, and I know now that I'm done!!

[foggierbard9]

I already posted about when we were ready for DS. But we just found out that we are apparently ready for #2. I went to the doctor to get some medicine and before they gave me the prescription they did a pregnancy test. It came back positive and so we are planning for our second child. I think this one is almost more scary because I don't know how our DS is going to react to a sibling, but also because money is tighter. I also am so excited because we have always said we wanted 2 children, so I am a complete whirlwind of emotions.