Your opinion on baby shower etiquette please!

[Macaela25]

I am helping to host a baby shower for a friend. She has a daughter and is expecting another girl. Since her DD is only 2, she saved all the big stuff and clothing. The only things she really needs are a stroller/car seat combo, diapers, bottles, pacifiers, and maybe some new outfits. She really doesn't want to register anywhere, since in the past within our circle of friends no one pays attention to registries.

Here's my question:

Is it in bad taste to include with the invitations a short list of items the mother is in need of? If so, what do you suggest?

[hbaqueen]

What about having a diaper and wipe shower instead? I think they are in much better taste and use the sprinkle poem invitation....Ive even seen people do a raffle and each item they bring gets them one entry but not sure Id want to do that but its an idea I guess.

I did a poll on this a while back and its abouut 50/50 as far as people thinking a 2nd shower is tacky vs people thinking each baby deserves one so I think youll probably find similar results in the list area. Some people will find it in bad taste and some wont care.
Id go with the sprinkle invitations (you can google it) and add in the items she needs under that poem. Its something likle big sis is sharing her high chair, bed whatever but new baby still needs new clothes, a car seat ect...

[jonjaktez]

I answered wrong. I ment to vote No! I find that to be very reasonable - I would rather give what the mother actually needs, but I accidently voted Yes! I would find that offensive. SORRY

[anaj06]

I think the sprinkle idea is great also because it lets you incorporate the mother's needs.

[GODSPRINZES]

I would purchase somthing the mother want's than for me to just choose myself. Only to attend the baby shower with three other's with the very same thing....lol...Great question. :)

[cintinative]

I tend to think the second shower should be more about the mom than the baby. A diaper/wipe shower is a good idea. They should technically have most everything they need from the first baby/shower. Mine were 21 months apart and I didn't need a new car seat or stroller, bottles, diaper bag, or other essentials. If people are calling or emailing to RSVP, if they really care about what to buy, have a list ready to answer their questions. Otherwise, let them buy what they want. You could tell them the colors of the baby's room to help them if they buy decorative stuff.

[Dengineer]

Traditional etiquette is that ANY direct mention of a gift in the invitation is inappropriate--even mentioning a registry. If you want to know what the mother needs, that is what the telephone or word of mouth is for. All that being said, most people don't pay attention to traditional etiquette anymore so *most* people probably won't be offended.

I do like theme showers like the diaper and wipes shower. The theme gives the guest a direction of what to bring without having to mention the wish list directly.

[greenrays]

Personally I think it's tacky to add what the mother needs in the invite, word of mouth is much better!!

I probably feel differently though.... I don't think she should have a shower at all if the kids are only 2yrs apart, esp if they are the same sex!!! I don't want a shower at all and have conveyed that to all my friends, there is no reason for people to spend more money when they just shelled out a ton about 2 yrs ago.

[tmsmalley]

Originally Posted by Macaela25 I am helping to host a baby shower for a friend. She has a daughter and is expecting another girl. Since her DD is only 2, she saved all the big stuff and clothing. The only things she really needs are a stroller/car seat combo, diapers, bottles, pacifiers, and maybe some new outfits. She really doesn't want to register anywhere, since in the past within our circle of friends no one pays attention to registries. Here's my question: Is it in bad taste to include with the invitations a short list of items the mother is in need of? If so, what do you suggest?

Yes it is in bad taste. Even including registry information is questionable as far as etiquette although many people do that these days. It is always tacky to flat out tell people what to buy, even if you do it in a cute way. What you can do is when people RSVP, you can let them know what things she needs. Otherwise, she gets what she gets and can sell it, return it or donate it if she doesn't want it.

Tess

[raesana]

I personally do think it's in poor etiquette. When I first came to the U.S and learned about registries, I was horrified AND I couldn't figure out why people gave gift receipts. I don't know if it's a cultural or generational difference though. If I buy a gift, a lot of thought goes into it and I find it offensive that someone would even think of returning it. Registries kind of take the fun out of buying presents.

Kind of OT story... my BIL and his GF got pregnant and moved away. They decided to have a "through the mail" baby shower. I could not believe it! They sent out "invitations" telling people where they were registered and where to mail their packages to. The sister also included a note saying that if we wanted to save on shipping costs, we could send a giftcard and they'd pick something out and wrap it on our behalf.

Of course we sent something because we're so close in relation, but then I called and half-jokingly asked when my cake and party favors were going to show up.