Your opinion on baby shower etiquette please! - Page 3

Macaela25 · 06-07-2009, 06:26:45 AM

Originally Posted by CocoB

And the stroller/car seat combo is a big expense- I think you'd be getting a lot of bottles (probably not BPA free ones) and clothes.

Actually, it's preferred around here to do a large group gift, especially in workplaces. That way 15 or so people all donate a smaller amount of money than they would have spent on a single gift and chip in to buy, say, a stroller combo. No one would dream of one person coughing up $200 for a gift.

I guess etiquette really varies according to social groups/regions. For our circle of friends, it is about making sure the mother has what she needs as well as celebrating the birth of a child, whether it's #1 or #10.

It's interesting though that the method of delivery of information seems to be so important.

Macaela25 · 06-07-2009, 06:35:12 AM

Originally Posted by frugalstafar

I do draw the line on cash gifts or gift cards preferred listed on invites. Can you believe I've gotten quite a few kids birthday invites that said that!

Yes, now THAT is definitely beyond bad taste!

zoeys_mom · 06-09-2009, 12:30:37 PM

In my personal opinion for baby showers I do not think it is in poor taste.
For weddings yes, but baby showers, I think it is fine and that way the mother gets what she really needs.
Although, I agree with a previous poster that she should not be having a baby shower at all since her children are so close in age and the same sex.

hiding57 · 06-10-2009, 06:54:55 AM

Originally Posted by raesana

I personally do think it's in poor etiquette. When I first came to the U.S and learned about registries, I was horrified AND I couldn't figure out why people gave gift receipts. I don't know if it's a cultural or generational difference though. If I buy a gift, a lot of thought goes into it and I find it offensive that someone would even think of returning it. Registries kind of take the fun out of buying presents.
.

See a lot of people though don't put much though into gifts or don't want to. Probably not because they don't care but just because they don't have the time or just don't know what to get. How many single people thing baby toys are useful baby gifts you know? I'd rather know what people want so I can at least base a gift off of that even though having children myself I have a better idea of what actually gets used. Though every baby is different.

hiding57 · 06-10-2009, 07:07:54 AM

Originally Posted by MariaT

Not that etiquette is not important, my frame of mind these days is practicality. I'd rather have something I need & can use then some doo-hickey sitting in the corner of a room.

Exactly! I would much rather someone get me nothing than get me something I don't need and can't return. Then they've spent their money and no one got any benefit, I'd rather them keep their money. I had a bunch of stuff I couldn't use from my last little one that I couldn't return, people spent at least $50 on it and I got $12 at the consignment shop. To me that's a huge waste of resources.

amys · 06-10-2009, 07:48:28 AM

I am someone who tends to follow the etiquette rules when it comes to parties and such. Baby Showers are my only exception. It is rude to have a Wedding Shower/Birthday Party and put down gift registries or gift suggestions, because then you are basically saying "Don't bother coming if you don't bring a gift - but by the way send a gift even if you don't come"

However, with a Baby Shower before the baby is born, it is understood that the purpose of the party is to shower the Mother/Baby with needed gifts. In that instance, a registry or note to contact for needs is acceptable. It is the only exception that I see because most new mothers are unable to run out for what they need last minute - yes the dads should do that - and most are so tired that it really helps them out. I know the argument that they should be prepared and I agree. But if the Shower is after the Baby is born, except where medical necessity intervened in having the shower first, it is generally understood that gifts are not necessary then.

I generally don't like being TOLD what to give, but suggestions of what are NEEDED, but not required, do not offend me.

(And yes - a "friend" sent me a shower invitation TELLING me exactly what I was to bring. The invitations were "customized" to each person stating what she wanted us to bring. I didn't go, nor did I send anything. Matter of fact, she didn't receive much at all - highly offensive)

And where I'm from, we throw showers for every birth - doesn't matter if it is number 1, 2, or 10. :D

amjurey · 06-10-2009, 12:00:00 PM

we recently had #2 and my SIL threw me a sprinkle. i wasn't expecting anything since my kids are 19 mon apart but she really wanted to throw me one. she did the cute poem about how my daughter has so much to share and remember that this time #2 will be wearing blue. so people got the hint what we really needed was clothing.

granted, a couple of my single girlfriends got me several 3-6 mon cloths and said, "I figured I would get a little bigger so you can have stuff for him in a couple of months." they actually believed the sizing on the cloths was for the ages. that might work for some families but my kids are big!!!! DS weighed 9lb7oz at birth and is currently btw 9 mon and 12 mon cloths at 3.5 mon.

two of my GF's are expecting their 2nd children (1st kids are 2). so we did a ladies luncheon (just the close GF's) and i just got both of them diapers since i figured that was what they would need the most.

so my recommendation would be to do a cute poem including the needs or a theme such as a diaper shower.

queenofthehivemomof5 · 06-10-2009, 12:25:14 PM

If I got an invite with a suggested list of items needed I would probably go to the shower and try to get something from the list. If I got a invite with a registry I would try to get something off of it. And if I got an invite with nothing as to clues about what was needed I would ask the host when I RSVP for gift ideas, nursery colors, needed items, etc.

I would be happy to be invited and just try to "go with the flow". It is sort of tacky to send a list and to have a 2nd shower for the second baby. But sometimes it is done and there is not much you can do but boycott the shower. But I like playing pin the diaper on the baby and eating pink and blue cupcakes :)

rrpate · 06-10-2009, 01:04:21 PM

Originally Posted by zoeys_mom

In my personal opinion for baby showers I do not think it is in poor taste.
For weddings yes, but baby showers, I think it is fine and that way the mother gets what she really needs.
Although, I agree with a previous poster that she should not be having a baby shower at all since her children are so close in age and the same sex.