Your opinion on baby shower etiquette please!

[PirateQueen]

To be honest, I would much rather KNOW what someone want/needs even if it comes from a list. And to ask the mom of a newborn and a toddler to have to go and stand in the CS line (and possibly get hassled) to return something that is a duplicate/unneeded item seems like cruel and unusual punishment. I remember vividly how hard that was to go to dozens (seemed like that many lol) of different stores to exchange/return these things.

[tivaclare]

People were nice enough to throw me showers for both my kids and both parties asked in advance what I needed, and I'm assuming they sent lists out because I got precisely what I needed!

I don't think its tacky at all. I'd hate to spend $30 on cute baby clothes only to find out that the family already has a ton and have my clothes never be used. Truth be told, I always buy diapers anyway. That's what new parents really need. I let all the single girls by the cute stuff, lol...:-D

[Beana913]

I would rather know exactly what mom needs, and then add my own personal touch. When I had DS nobody looked at my registry. I asked for only larger sized clothes because I knew I was having a big baby. I was sent tons of newborn sized stuff, my son was 9lbs and that size fit for four days. Nothing had receipts and store return policies made a good portion of them impossible to return. Most are still in the basement with the tags still on hoping the next baby will be a bit smaller.

[XUfan]

I just wanted to say that I think that a list of what she really needs is a great idea. For the gift-givers, as well as the recipient. In this economy (an overused phrase, I know!), people want more for their dollar. Sure, she can return what she can't use, and get GCs for the amount. But who wants to spend the time and gas doing that! Besides, it doesn't matter how many kids you already have...if you're expecting another one, you're going to need some things.

I'm not a firm believer in "any gift is a good gift if it comes from the heart." It's just not true! If a gift-giving occaision is approaching, and someone asks what I need, I tell them. If I've listed 4 or 5 things that I truly need, but they give me a potted plant instead, it's not a good gift! I still need the things I told them, and now I have a plant I didn't want! (Yes, I'm a grumpy old lady!). I believe that a good gift is one that comes from the head, not the heart. Put some thought into it, and don't just give something that'll be sold next year (still in it's packaging) in a yard sale!

[ssnoel1230]

Originally Posted by XUfan I just wanted to say that I think that a list of what she really needs is a great idea. For the gift-givers, as well as the recipient. In this economy (an overused phrase, I know!), people want more for their dollar. Sure, she can return what she can't use, and get GCs for the amount. But who wants to spend the time and gas doing that! Besides, it doesn't matter how many kids you already have...if you're expecting another one, you're going to need some things. I'm not a firm believer in "any gift is a good gift if it comes from the heart." It's just not true! If a gift-giving occaision is approaching, and someone asks what I need, I tell them. If I've listed 4 or 5 things that I truly need, but they give me a potted plant instead, it's not a good gift! I still need the things I told them, and now I have a plant I didn't want! (Yes, I'm a grumpy old lady!). I believe that a good gift is one that comes from the head, not the heart. Put some thought into it, and don't just give something that'll be sold next year (still in it's packaging) in a yard sale!

I agree, if she needs items why not put that on the invitation. That way she does not have to worry about those items. Having children is not cheap and if her friends want to buy something why not have it be something she needs.

[Doglover8180]

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[Maxie1101]

I think I answered wrong. I put other, because i voted before I read your post. My thinking was to include registries, but since you said no one in your area pays attention to them, I would have answered that yes, it is okay to include the list of items. I would rather buy something they need than waste my money on something they don't (as long as it is not a short list of very expensive items...as someone who does not have children yet, I think the family should buy the very expensive items).

[CocoB]

I think it's rude to include a list of what the mom needs. To me it looks like you're just having the party for the gifts. Where I am from you only have a baby shower for your first baby. Sure you want to celebrate EVERY baby but it's a lot of expense to put together a party and then expect presents from everyone- and these friends just did that 2 years ago. And the stroller/car seat combo is a big expense- I think you'd be getting a lot of bottles (probably not BPA free ones) and clothes.

[MariaT]

Not that etiquette is not important, my frame of mind these days is practicality. I'd rather have something I need & can use then some doo-hickey sitting in the corner of a room.

[frugalstafar]

I think its fine in the case of a baby shower, the mom knows what she needs and really won't have the energy to return unwanted items. I do draw the line on cash gifts or gift cards preferred listed on invites. Can you believe I've gotten quite a few kids birthday invites that said that!