Adopting internationally?

[alliehdgs]

I wish I had agency advice for you but my agency does not work in Ethopia. I think adoption is wonderful and love that others are adopting. I have 2 from Russia and 1 bio and I know the blessings of adoption. Congratulations on your decision and best of luck in your journey.

[newatthis]

Originally Posted by blakehlhs Wow, you are pretty bold. Actually, my dh and I have fostered 4 children, 1 individual and 3 siblings, in hopes to adopt them and in both cases it did not work out and we are not going to put ourselves or our family through that again. Adopting in the US is not as easy as you would think or want it to be. Also, I am pretty sure that I did not ask for your criticism on where I want to adopt from. Sorry in advance if this is not how you meant it, but it rubbed me the wrong way

My family has been in similar situations and it is heartbreaking and after a time or two (lots of time it is with foster care) you just decide to go another route.
I would love to adopt from the US but my mom is friends with a lady who adopted a girl 12 yrs ago and the original parents have the adoptive parents in court now. So not right! You hardly ever have to worry about that with international adop.

Originally Posted by Valerie$$ Russia has about 750 thousand children living in orphanages a a million more on the streets, it's insane. (Minus one, we brought our 2 1/2 year old boy home last week) In the U.S, most of the kids in foster care are not available for adoption. I think adoption is great no matter where you do it.. children are children.

congrats to you!

Best of luck OP! I would love to know how it goes!~

[Lurkergirl]

Wish you luck with the adoption .I also know first hand that adoption in the US is not easy and there are so many things you have to go through ,and then it falls through .

[tmsmalley]

...but why not adopt from the US?
There are already so many kids already here who need the chance for a better life.

I think this is a classic example of the issue with email and BBS's. There are two ways to take the question. The first is:

Oh, that's really interesting! Why did you decide to adopt internationally? I don't know much about that and I'd love it if you'd tell me more about it.

The second is:

Why aren't you doing adopting here? (as if you're doing something wrong)

I didn't read it as the second version when I saw it. I could have been wrong, but I'd like to think that if I was the one to start this thread, I'd have chosen to take it as the first version not the second even if I wasn't sure how it was meant. You're going to get that question a million times during the process and after you have your child. Some of the time people will mean it in a critical way, other times they won't, but either way, it is going to come with the territory and your job as the parent of this child is going to be to explain it without getting defensive. You need a short one/two line about how you wanted to bring a child into a loving home and this seemed the best way to do so or something along those lines.

Tess

[Valerie$$]

I'd love for hbaqueen to educate us all on the many children available for adoption in the U.S. When I inquired, it was nearly all children that had special needs way beyond our capabilities to realistically commit to adopting in the foster system. In private adoption, parents must compete to be chosen by a pregnant woman, using websites, scrapbooks and financial incentives.
As I said earlier, adoption is wonderful no matter where you do it, they are all small children and families need to to do research and choose the right option for themselves.

The good news is, most adoptive parents feel we have somehow been given the child most perfect for us, however imperfect we all are.

The adoption process can be a long one, and it starts with choosing an agency and country. It's not something most people take lightly.

[mayanfire]

I was talking about this thread at work today, and a coworker told me a story about her neighbor. They tried for years to adopt in the U.S...Did the home study, parenting classes, etc, etc, and were not approved. They were heartbroken. They just adopted 3 and 5 year old brothers from brazil. My coworker said they are the cutest little guys.. :)

[hiding57]

Originally Posted by frugalstafar My other friend has adopted 3 times from china-all girls, she said some of the biggest drawbacks were the lies she was told in reference to age and medical history and the fact they had to bribe the staff with gifts and money. SO good luck to you, I wish you and your family the best.

That's interesting I've heard before that its less that way in China than in other countries (bribes and such being a problem).

[hbaqueen]

Originally Posted by Valerie$$ I'd love for hbaqueen to educate us all on the many children available for adoption in the U.S. When I inquired, it was nearly all children that had special needs way beyond our capabilities to realistically commit to adopting in the foster system. In private adoption, parents must compete to be chosen by a pregnant woman, using websites, scrapbooks and financial incentives. As I said earlier, adoption is wonderful no matter where you do it, they are all small children and families need to to do research and choose the right option for themselves.

Ya know Im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and the fact Im not fully awake yet and hope I did not take that the way you intended. I really hope I read your tone wrong.

I never said I had all the answers or was an expert it was just some info from personal experience and some research I have done that I was posting. BUT then I realized the OP had jumped down someones throat for even bringing it up so i edited to n/m...

If you werent being snooty and really do want that information Id be happy to PM it to you as I said the OP of this thread is not interested in it and that is why I edited it out.
I was not judging the OP I just think when you ask on a board as large as this for opinions on a sibject as big as this you have to be ready to hear all sides graciously and not bite peoples heads off.
Just b/c people want to bring both sides to the table that doesnt mean one way is better than another. Why can we not have a civilized discussion about something without people getting nasty? I just dont get it.