Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

[melodyjg]

With my first son, my husband was hunting and DS came 4 weeks early so the first 5 days of his life his dad didn't even know he was here....It was really snowy where he was at and the State Troopers wouldn't even attempt to go get him. When he got home he saw DS in my arms and said what did you borrow one to practice with! :)

[akita_mommy]

He will DEFINITELY be there with me as long as I stay! This is our first baby and even if I didn't want him there, he would DEMAND to be there with me and the new baby. I can't imagine it any other way either.

[Annaquin]

Baby #1- we all stayed at the hospital for 8 days- he was a premie, so DH stayed with me, and then we moved into a family suite in the NICU for the last 6 days.

Baby #2- he stayed the 1st night the 2nd night he went home to take care of #1

Baby #3- he stayed the 2nd night, 1st he was taking care of #1
&2
Baby #4- just me and my baby- DH had his hands full at home- lol I think he was more exhausted then me til we came home.

It was nice having him there, but more emotional support then anything. I'm always back on my feet and ready to go pretty much as soon as the baby pops out so maybe I'm just weird.

[cbms]

Nope.

I was single with the first two and didn't have anyone there afterward. With my third, my DH had to be at home with the two older girls. With my fourth, we had a birth center birth and I was back home about 4 hours after I had the baby, and he went to work the next day (and my big girls were off school for Christmas break). We're having another birth center birth this time, too, so I'll be home a few hours after baby. :) I do just fine on my own. Although I'll admit, it's nice to have help sometimes. lol

[brokenangel]

I was 19 and 21 when I had my children, I never "demanded" anyone anything.... still don't. When I had my daughter, 18 yrs ago, having the father spend the night wasn't even an option, your child had to stay in the nursery at night. When I had my son 2 years later things were completely different, he could have stayed if I wanted him there and they didn't have a nursery for healthy babies.

I was lucky enough to have easy births so I was up and moving within hours. I only stayed one night with each. My childrens father thought it was a burden to stay at the hospital any length of time, I was independant and didn't want to "bother" him. I'm glad he didn't stay. <bad memories.. He didn't pick me and DD up from the hospital, my mom did.. he had to golf. I remember coming home after DS to a house COMPLETELY trashed with him saying, "you need to do laundry and dishes". Guess that is why I'm so independant or why he is my EX> Sitting here thinking about it all these years later, I wouldnt need or want the father to stay overnight even now. I prefer to have my time and I don't "need" anyone. I can see my now husband DEMANDING to stay if we were to have a child together... would probably be so HELPFUL it would get on my nerves... lol.

I respect everyones opinion and I do feel for all of you who've had hard times. I was just lucky.

[Tracy_in_Missouri]

When I had my first, 17yrs ago and in a Navy hospital, it wasnt an option for Dh to stay. I kept my dtr with me and I was torn from stem to stern. I couldnt move an inch IN the bed let alone get out of the bed when the earth started quaking ( true story lol) and the entire wall of glass windows was shaking madly.The foolish nurse comes in and tells me we just had an earthquake ( really?!?) and I should move myself and baby inside the doorway when the aftershocks came ( yeah right ) From then on Ive always had him with me. 3 more hospital babies and 4 homebirths, where we were both tucked into bed with baby before the midwife left. There has been nothing more precious to me than enjoying a new baby with him. Im a loner when it comes to laboring, but post partum, I really believe in mothering the mother.

[twinmommyboyz]

I never had to ask... and he always stayed because family is close by for the other babies. He was always quicker to assist when the nurses took a while. I have little to no labor, but after my c-section the "gas pains" from surgery made me feel like I was having a heart attack. If he was not there and it was just me and the newborn, I would have lost it.

Good question though, if you have someone to take care of the other kids at home, he should be there. If not, your first priority should be REST before going home and let him go home to tend to the rest of the crew!

[yellobelle]

Originally Posted by jillibean_1978 Why would I need him there? I'm at the hospital already, if something becomes a need I think they have it covered. LOL

yes, i LOL'd when I read that too! i had an emergency c/s with my first and it was horrible. dh left me for a total of 2 hrs in 3 days and i was sobbing by the time he got back to the hospital because i couldn't get the nurses to bring me a drink of water or pain meds or even help me to the bathroom. everyone i know has someone at the hospital with them, and if they don't, there are usually horror stories as a result. and i have never heard of a hospital "letting you stay an extra day." they kicked me out 5 hrs early even though i was begging to stay. clearly, i live in the wrong part of the country!!

the second time around, my dh was there the whole time because i had a home birth. SO much nicer and i didn't have to worry about who would watch my 3 yr old for several days!

[cbms]

Originally Posted by yellobelle yes, i LOL'd when I read that too! i had an emergency c/s with my first and it was horrible. dh left me for a total of 2 hrs in 3 days and i was sobbing by the time he got back to the hospital because i couldn't get the nurses to bring me a drink of water or pain meds or even help me to the bathroom. everyone i know has someone at the hospital with them, and if they don't, there are usually horror stories as a result. and i have never heard of a hospital "letting you stay an extra day." they kicked me out 5 hrs early even though i was begging to stay. clearly, i live in the wrong part of the country!! the second time around, my dh was there the whole time because i had a home birth. SO much nicer and i didn't have to worry about who would watch my 3 yr old for several days!

Sorry to hear your nurses were like that-it was always quite the opposite at my hospital (I've had three hospital births and one birth center birth). They would come to me and push drugs as soon as the time limit was up. And I had vaginal deliveries, myself... but there they were. And I wasn't allowed to get up to use the potty myself the first three times, and I could ask for help after if I needed. And at my first birth, I had the option of staying an extra 2 days in "Family Suites."

I've personally never had someone stay for very long at a time, and I've had plenty of alone time at the hospital after birth-and I have no horror stories to speak of...

[Macaela25]

I had DS#2 two and a half weeks ago via c-section, and my experience this time was so pleasantly different! DH stayed with me during the day to bond and help with the baby, and he went back home at night even though he could have stayed (I wanted him to get plenty of sleep in preparation for the nights to come!). DS stayed in the nursery both nights so I could rest, and the maternity ward was practically empty so I got lots of nurse attention when I needed it.

I definitely would tell anyone having a c-section that you need to have someone there with you during the day to help with the baby. You can't get out of bed for several hours at least, which makes it nearly impossible to care for a newborn. So to answer the question...yes, I need my husband. You helped make it, you help take care of it.