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In the Family Way Discuss Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay? in the Swingin' Deals forums; Nope - didn't need him. DD and DS both spent their nights in the nursery and then the nurses would bring them in around 5 or 6 in the morning. ...
View Poll Results: Do you need your husbands with you during your hospital stay after birth?
Yes 138 64.19%
No 62 28.84%
Not sure never given birth. 10 4.65%
No - we are not together anymore 3 1.40%
No - but I have somebody staying with me. 1 0.47%
No - But, I wish he is going to be gone (military or whatever) 1 0.47%
I'm a man and will never give birth. 0 0%
Voters: 215. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-02-2009, 04:48:10 AM   #41
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

Nope - didn't need him. DD and DS both spent their nights in the nursery and then the nurses would bring them in around 5 or 6 in the morning. They would then spend the day in the room with me until they went back to the nursery at night.
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Old 05-02-2009, 08:35:52 PM   #42
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

In my opinion (which often isn't popular, but I don't care) the husband/father of the child should be there. My husband was there with #2 (#1 is a long story, but we we're even speaking or married, he had to rebuild himself). I am so glad he was there. Without him I would have had to rely on strangers more. Our second daughter was born with pneumonia. I needed him for my sanity. Our eldest stayed at home the week we were in with various relatives coming to stay with her. She spent a bit of time at the hospital with us during the days. #2 was in the special care nursery until 2 days before release, without him there it would have been me and the tv and that would have given me too much time to obsess on things. Thankfully baby girl got better, but at first it was not a given that she would even be able to stay at the hospital she was born at, she almost was transferred she was that sick.
It's a great time for the parents to bond with the baby, and I would never not want him there, he needs the time with the child too! I could never be so selfish.
If/when we have #3, he will stay again. We have relatives who will gladly stay with our older kids at night. And just those moments of getting to know our newest child together, we got closer to each other too.
My uncle stayed with my aunt the whole time she was in with my 9 year old cousin. He loved it, they both said they grew closer together during that time, so I thought it would be great to do.

It isn't just about needing help with the baby, we spent hours talking and it was really great. My husband loved it. He just assumed he would stay, and I was going to demand it, not because he's a child, but because I don't demand much and it's only right. He demands that I don't push myself too hard after my section. We both have demands I guess!
My dad was ticked he wasn't allowed to stay when we kids were born. He said that he thinks men should cater to their wives after the babies are born. They don't have to have the pain, so they should be there to take care of whatever their wives need. He's such a great guy.
Sorry to ramble, but I am on percoset for pain (kidney stone laser stuff yesterday), and I am rambling a bit.
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Old 05-03-2009, 01:00:44 AM   #43
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

Just to add my 2 cents (I didn't have time to read through the entire thread)... I absolutely did demand my husband to stay with me. I had a C-Section and they didn't even take my catheter out for 24 hours. So I couldn't get out of bed at all. Even then, I was in so much pain, I couldn't get to the baby quickly if he was crying. My husband wanted to go home and get some things and check on our dog (My SIL was staying at our house "babysitting" her) and I made him promise that he would be back in an hour. This was on day 3. Drive time to our house was about 20 minutes, so I wasn't being very accomodating lol. On Day 2 he wanted to leave and get fast food for dinner and I freaked out because he was gone so long, but he had stopped to buy me flowers at the flower shop :D But it was my first baby and I was in so much pain, I was terrified to be alone. My hubby got 3 weeks off of work when we had the baby and I am SO grateful. He was amazing.

Oh, and I should add, we were in the hospital for 4 days because I had high blood pressure and they wanted to monitor it to make sure I didn't get pre-eclampsia. My hubby stayed every single night.
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Old 05-04-2009, 01:55:31 PM   #44
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

I'm going to comment again, since yesterday DH and I toured the birthing center. Yes, I will absolutely need him there! This doesn't differ from my previous comment, but I'm even more convinced that he needs to be there. My local hospital birthing center has pull out couches for husbands to sleep on, and since I'm going to be there for two whole days (which is an eternity to me since I HATE hospitals), he has to be there, too.
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Old 05-04-2009, 06:43:01 PM   #45
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

When I had my DD my husband thought he could go home...haha. I said yeah right mister I want you there. Everything went great with my delivery, but having him there was just nice ya know. I do feel bad bc he has a really bad back and sleeping on the fold out chair was not comfy for him! (I let him go home the next day to catch up sleep-wish I had gotten some too!)
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Old 05-08-2009, 01:26:53 PM   #46
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

I am going to add that with DD, it was nice that he went home after the first night. I had a c/s and was there for 4 nights. They said I could go home after 3, but I knew it was the only peace and bonding time I would get for a while.

I am glad I did the 4th night, because it was more like a hotel than a hospital. The nurses basically left me alone, I was at the end of a hall, and it was peaceful. I watched TV, had my laptop, read some magazines and snuggled with DD.

She's my last baby, and I am glad that I have good hospital memories from her birth.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:01:44 PM   #47
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

depends on the women...I had a c-section with my twins and my tubes tied at the same time, so I could not get out of bed without help because I was so sore and in pain. my c-section was long way not across and the doctors say its worse that way but due to twins thats how they had to do it. And my twins were took away because they were born at 31 weeks and needed help with their breathing, so I needed him there to go check on them for me and to help me out of bed to go potty, but you belive me he did not want to be there for I could have beat him up evertime I had to get up and go the pain was so bad...so I was kind of mean to him............
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Old 05-08-2009, 04:29:34 PM   #48
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

The hospitals here let dads stay overnight here during labor and the first night (sometimes two) after delivery. Then they bring a menu for you and him to pick out the next day's supper. Two trays come for you and dad to have a "celebratory dinner" together.
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Old 05-18-2009, 09:07:28 PM   #49
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

With kid #1, yes, I absolutely needed him to stay. I had given birth about 2:00 pm and was not able to be up caring for the baby during the night.

With kid #2, we decided to play it by ear as to whether DH would stay or go home to be with kid #1. As it turned out, I gave birth at 5:00 am and felt great by that night, so he went home.

We are expecting #3 now. I expect that he will go home again if I am feeling okay.
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Old 05-18-2009, 09:20:13 PM   #50
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Default Re: Do you need your husbands during your hospital stay?

They wouldn't let my husband stay overnight. Our son was born at like 8 pm and they moved me to my room at 9, he had to leave by 9:30 because it was already after hours. It was a horrible experience and I am so glad that when we decide for #2 we will be at a different hospital.
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