Godparents

[meems]

I couldn't really answer the poll..

I am a Godparent 2 times over..which is kind of funny given my lack of religious leanings & the fact that GP's roles are for religious guidance.

My 1st was baptized & has Godparents, my 2nd was not baptized so no GP's. I did the first "because it was the thing to do" with my second I said , no, it was the wrong reasons & I certainly didn't believe she would go to he!! because some water wasn't sprinkled on her head.

[flower$]

Yes, I am a godparent AND my children have godparents
We made a choice based on who would be a good role model,
best influence
& the people we thought could be the best examples
of living our faith for our daughter.
I am so happy with the choices we made.

Some people pick their friends....
Some people pick the people they think will give the child the best monetary gifts growing up...

I'm glad we chose the people that are capable of giving the gifts money can't buy!

[mandybeyl]

Originally Posted by tmsmalley Godparent means different things to different people. The traditional definition is religious. If you're Catholic, there are very specific requirements for who can and can't be a Godparent. In this day and age and this country, it can be tough to find good Catholic "qualified" godparents (not divorced, practicing, etc.). Their role is spiritual. They're to help the parents guide the child through life in the church. They're there for the baptism, may be involved with first communion, confirmation, etc. The idea is that they help the parents raise the child in the church and if the parents aren't able to do it themselves (death, incarceration, illness, whatever), they can step in and assist. Many other religions also have "Godparents" but generally aren't so strict about who can do it and all the rig-a-ma-role that Catholics have about it. There's also a secular "honorary" term of Godparent used by many people. It is just an honorary title however and doesn't mean anything. Remember, that whether it is a religious or secular or honorary title, naming a Godparent DOES NOT GRANT CUSTODY of your child to them in case of your death. You have to formally name someone as a guardian in your will. You can also name a financial guardian and a physical guardian if you know someone who would be great with your child but lousy with their money. Tess

She's right here. If you are Catholic, the Godparent is someone who will guide the child in the Catholic faith. NOT necessarily the person who would assume custody if anything were to happen to you (although it could be the same person, it is in my children's case). I cannot speak to what a Godparent's specific role is outside of the Catholic faith however I think it is less well defined and determined more by family tradition than any specific set of rules.

Regardless of your faith, it definitely seems out of line for someone to ask to be the Godparent (although, he obviously must care for your family a great deal and just wanted to express his love and support).

[regbyandjulie]

Originally Posted by Cin42382 I have godparents, although I'm not 100% sure who they are. I am not a godparent myself, but I hope to have godparents for my child, although right now we have no idea who that will be. :(

For us it was a fairly easy decision, but that was because the people we chose were the only people we knew would take good care of our kids. If they had said no, or didn't want the responsibility of being godparents/guardians, DH and I would have been extremely nervous about anyone else we chose, so I know what you mean about not knowing who would be a good godparent.

Originally Posted by tmsmalley Godparent means different things to different people. The traditional definition is religious. If you're Catholic, there are very specific requirements for who can and can't be a Godparent. In this day and age and this country, it can be tough to find good Catholic "qualified" godparents (not divorced, practicing, etc.). Their role is spiritual. They're to help the parents guide the child through life in the church. They're there for the baptism, may be involved with first communion, confirmation, etc. The idea is that they help the parents raise the child in the church and if the parents aren't able to do it themselves (death, incarceration, illness, whatever), they can step in and assist. Many other religions also have "Godparents" but generally aren't so strict about who can do it and all the rig-a-ma-role that Catholics have about it. There's also a secular "honorary" term of Godparent used by many people. It is just an honorary title however and doesn't mean anything. Remember, that whether it is a religious or secular or honorary title, naming a Godparent DOES NOT GRANT CUSTODY of your child to them in case of your death. You have to formally name someone as a guardian in your will. You can also name a financial guardian and a physical guardian if you know someone who would be great with your child but lousy with their money. Tess

Hi Tess! Yes, I know I have to name a guardian in my Will. DH and I are currently in the process of drawing up our Wills and will finalize them fairly soon after the baby is born, since our the chosen godparents have graciously agreed.


I kind of had to force DH to help me choose since he thinks the whole thing of choosing who will take care of your kids if you DIE is rather depressing (which it is). But knowing my background (both my parents died before I was 18 without making any provisions of who would care for me, so I was left with awful people) I really do not want to take the chance that something will happen to us and my kids will go through the same thing.

[faeryedark]

Originally Posted by puakinikini This is an important decision in all religions, but it means something different depending on your religious views. So I would meet with your spiritual leader (the person who will baptize your child) to discuss this. I am Catholic and the fact that I was not married with my twins was a big deal. It was important to me to baptize them Catholic - as this was very meaningful to my grandmother. I went and talked to a priest and worked it out.

Very True. Our children have god-parents and their godmother(my best friend) is not the same religion as we are (Brethren) But has made a promise that if anything were to happen to us, our children would be brought up in our church.

[hiding57]

See I had never until maybe a year ago heard of thinking of godparents as having anything to do with a child's spiritual development. I always though it meant who would take care of your children if you died, period. Presumably you would pick someone who would also raise them in your same religion but had never thought of that as a separate obligation. I never had any, though I knew who probably would have raised us had something happen to my parents, and they were very close to our family and always spent a lot of time with us. We haven't picked anyone yet. Our closeest friends have five kids of their own and since we're planning to have about so many we've been a bit stumped.

[regbyandjulie]

Originally Posted by hiding57 See I had never until maybe a year ago heard of thinking of godparents as having anything to do with a child's spiritual development. I always though it meant who would take care of your children if you died, period. Presumably you would pick someone who would also raise them in your same religion but had never thought of that as a separate obligation. I never had any, though I knew who probably would have raised us had something happen to my parents, and they were very close to our family and always spent a lot of time with us. We haven't picked anyone yet. Our closeest friends have five kids of their own and since we're planning to have about so many we've been a bit stumped.

That's another good point. If you choose a godparent for your first kid, does that mean any OTHER kids you have will automatically have the same godparent? Also, what if you have 4 kids and your chosen godparent has 4 kids? Will they really want to take the chance that they'll have to raise 8 kids?

[tmsmalley]

No, again from the religious side of the house, you do not need to have the same godparents for each child. From the guardian standpoint if that's what you really mean, typically you would want the same person to take all the siblings together if possible.

Tess

[talk2ham.1]

To be honest, I don't know the history behind the term "Godparent". We have chosen guardians for our children should "the unthinkable" happen. And those people are ones that our kids know well, we have a good relationship with, and whose child rearing styles, family traditions, faith, values, etc. blend well with our own to make an easy transition for our kids if something happened. But we don't really consider them "godparents". They are just trustworthy folks who take a special interest in us and our kids that we feel would care for our kids well in our place.

[MrsPinecone]

Godparents and guardians are two different things.

One is responsible for the religious guidance of the child.

The other is a legal caretaker in the event of the parent's demise.