Am I a "Bad Mom" if I use a Pack N Play instead of a crib?

[regbyandjulie]

So, my DH and I have been thinking for awhile that a good way to save money that works for us, is to just have a Pack N Play and use that for the baby to sleep in instead of buying a traditional crib. Not only are we both terrified of putting a crib together ourselves (and if you have ever seen our IKEA couch and coffee table, you'd understand our fear ), but we do a lot of traveling to visit family and friends, and I'd like to still be able to do that even after the baby comes. So to me, a Pack N Play is the perfect solution since we can just toss that in the car for my DD to sleep in when we travel.

Well, my sister asked us when we were going to purchase a crib and I told her that we probably weren't, we were thinking about just purchasing a Pack N Play. She was stunned, and not in a good way. She said that it is a "bad idea" and that I was being "cheap" and that if I couldn't afford a traditional crib, maybe she should be concerned that we'd have enough resources to raise the baby. Then she said "Well, I guess I could buy one for you." And I told her that we were still considering the idea, and until we made a decision about it, I'd rather she didn't, and if she wanted to, she could put the money on a gift card. But THEN she said that it didn't sound like I was making good decisions and she didn't know if anyone should trust me with such a large amount of money (like $150 or so). We also preceeded to argue about other stuff, one of the issues being whether DH and I should have more children (she thinks 1 should be enough for us, EVER, even though she doesn't have a good reason why. And DH and I want at least 4, though not all at once).

Anyway, all this all happened about 2 weeks ago when she came to visit us. I didn't tell my DH what she said, and thank God, because he already hates her b/c he thinks she's controlling and she looks down her nose at everything (which is very true). So, last night, we were at Target price checking some things, and he saw this Pack N Play that he really likes and said this is the one he wants to get since we can reuse it for all the kids. And I said we should talk about it more and he asked why, and I said, I just wonder if we should get a crib. And then he got mad and asked me what my sister had said and that he knew she must have said something b/c I was all for the idea before.

Obviously, I have issues with my sister. She is the only one of my siblings that even talks to me, really, and it's hard for me to push her to the back corner of my life like the others, even though DH wants me to, and in all honesty I probably SHOULD. I hate that she is always "worried" and "concerned" that DH and I will be able to take care of the baby, and I just wish she would stop telling me how worried she is b/c I have complete faith in my DH and myself to provide a great home and great care for any children we have and I'm tired of everyone doubting us just b/c we don't have a million dollars. But I know that's something I have to work out with her myself.

My question (and thanks for reading such a long post) is:

Am I a "Bad Mommy" if I use a Pack N Play and just not buy a crib?

[ASweetHeart]

Nope.

You going to find that you get a lot of unwanted advice with kids - go with your insticts and don't let any one else's opinions get to you.

You can always buy a crib after if you find you need one.

Oh, and with my middle, she used a pack & play after she was a few months old (she twisted her arms really bad in the slats and got stuck - thought I was going to have to destroy the crib to get her out). Anyways, I used a portable crib matress in it to make it a little more comfortable for her. Plus, it's easier to clean if they get sick/ diapers explode.

[MrsPinecone]

A PNP would be OK for the first few months, but in the long term, I would really recommend a regular crib. They get mobile, and start pulling up, and a PNP isn't sturdy enough for constant abuse. They also don't have a mattress, and the foam ones that they sell are not thick enough. Adding your own foam raises them up and makes it easier to get out = less safe.

We had to use a PNP for a couple of months when DS was older, and it's an experience that I would not care to repeat.

I paid $109 for our crib, new. You can get one for less on Craigslist or in the local paper or at a yard sale.

Pack n plays can be had used, as well, and are often in good condition because people only use them for travel.

[chriscree]

First off your Sister will not be the mother of your child. Its hard not to want to take her advice but you have to do what you think is best.

As for the pac n play neither of my boys would sleep in one. it does not have support for long term sleeping. I had one with the bassinet sp? attachment and they out grew it in two months then it was very hard to lean over the side to get them in/out. We did use it for travel and outside in the yard. I even remember it saving us on Christmas morning keeping them confined so everyone could open presents.

I know cribs are expensive, even used ones with a new mattress, but I think you will be happier in the long run.

[Lucky1307]

I used a crib for my DS's, but we didn't travel alot. When my DS's visited grandma they slept in one. My sister sends one with my niece(1) to sleep in when she stays with me. My only caution would be that as they get older they can cause the things to tip over. They do this by leaning to far over the side or by rocking them. A little boy did that at daycare after he got up from is nap. Again that is not until they are older. My sister does have a crib, but has spent alot of time sleeping in the pack n play, her crib was recalled and they still haven't sent her the part to fix it. I don't think she is a bad mommy for that. I would keep an eye out for a good quality crib. We found great deals on line after my niece already had one. I am so sorry your sister is like that. Money doesn't raise kids, good parents do.

[Ggbwg]

Your not a bad mommy. Your a concerned mommy. The only bad thing abut not using a crib vs. a pack & play or alike is that they are very hard for the back i think. We used our pack & play a lot they are handy for sure.

[mrsjschultz]

I agree with MrsP. For the first few months you should be o.k. but in the long run you are going to want to get a crib. You could always find one on Craigslist or at a yard sale or in the local newspaper for cheap ($50)

FWIW, DS hated sleeping in the PnP. Your LO might love it though. You do what works for you.

[MariaT]

I think you need a crib too. The babies start to move around and such and need all the support. I agree with the others, there is always great baby furniture to find second hand on craigslist. You can find one very cheap and use it for the other children you plan to have.
As for your sister, maybe not exclude her totally but put a little space between you two. You don't need fancy expensive things to be a good mommy. The baby just needs you and your husband.

[aimeemarie]

I don't think you are a bad Mommy! However I do think baby needs a nice mattress to sleep on. Would you want to sleep in a Pack N Play type surface every night until you are old enough to have your own bed? If you can find a used crib, the cheapest mattress at Walmart is $38. We are using my own crib from 1984 so it is 25 years old but works fine.

[Cynthiabutterfly]

Just so you know, any choices you and your DH make about your own children is what is right for you, and doesn't concern your sister. I had some meddling family with both of my kids and it really did get to me that they thought I wasn't making good choices.

As for the pack 'n play, both of mine slept in theirs on a regular basis with no problems. I got one with a bassinet insert and that was a lifesaver. We also used a crib though.

I do agree that if you are doing it to save money, you probably won't, especially if you want to reuse it for 4 kids. Your best bet to save money is get a decent crib for less than $200, and you will be set for your whole brood. I doubt a pack 'n play will withstand exclusive use for 4 kids, and you may end up spending more money down the road.