Am I a "Bad Mom" if I use a Pack N Play instead of a crib?

[tmocini]

[quote=tmsmalley;1700103]Theresa Marie which gives you options for Tess, Tessa, Teri (Terri, Terry), Tracy and several other variations :)

Sorry to get off topic.... but I vote for Theresa Marie too (lol, thats MY name!)

[VivaciousJewelz]

LOL, duly noted. I'll take that into consideration.

[mandigirl_12879]

My son would only sleep in the pack 'n' play until he was almost 10 months. Now he's 12 months and we're going to convert our crib into the toddler bed. If a friend of ours and my husband had not built the crib themselves we would have never had one. We're expecting baby #2 in Feb. and planning on using the pack'n'play for this baby until he/she is ready for toddler bed and then we'll move ds to a twin.

[gabriel_maddie]

I know this is probably a little late, but I am pregnant with number 8. My oldest is about to turn 9. I had a beautiful crib for number one....brand new cherry, sleigh crib. I used it for 1 baby. I bought a smaller, portable, fold-up one for number 2. I think they are about 99 to 150 new. It is what we used for all the other babies. The pack and play worked well, at first. Then, when the baby starts to move around a bit, the mattress tends to move too. I thought I had to have a nice, full-size crib because everyone said I did. Do you know how much money we spent on things that everyone said we needed? What works for some may not work for others because your lifestyle is different than others'.

It was hard getting rid of my crib. It was beautiful, expensive, and sentimental, but we just never used it. I like the one that folds up a lot better. It is easier to clean. It is adjustable to put the baby higher when he/she first comes home and down when he sits up. It works well for us....it may not work for other people, but I love it.

The point is that no matter how much money you have, what works for you should not be determined by other people's preconceived thoughts. That includes the number of children you have. I think my parents thought we should only have 1 too, but quite frankly, it is no one's business but you and your husband's. In retaliation for having more than they think I should have, they offer no help. You know the old saying, "You made your own bed, now lie in it!".....well, that is their philosophy. They have always helped my siblings with babysitting (I mean for weeks at a time)or whatever they needed, but with me, it is like pulling teeth to even get help if I have to go to urgent care or something. It is because my siblings have met their expectations of what is appropriate. Also, they feel if they help me in any way at all, it is "enabling" me to have more children. They haven't helped me out a bit, but I am having number 8, so how's that plan working for them?....ha ha! : ) BUT, do you know what? It is my parents who are the ones missing out on having wonderful experiences with their grandchildren and causing a bridge between us that probably can't be repaired.

So, as far as your sister, she should really mind her own business, and keep her opinions to herself. Do what is best for you...with the crib, porta-crib, or whatever you decide. Like someone mentioned, it might work at first, and then you can go from there. It might change with each child or if your lifestyle changes. The best advice I can offer for you and your sister is that the more you let her give you her opinion, the more you will eventually be hurt by it. I have let my family give me their opinion for the last 9 years, and quite frankly, I wish I would have cut them off 9 years ago. It would have caused a lot less heartache and a lot less disappointment.

[terrisue]

We borrowed a crib from a friend. DS would nap in it, but at night, for the most part, he slept in our bed. We had a pack-n-play and he could climb out of the thing at about 4 months--of course, he could also climb out of his crib shortly after that, too. A lot of times, he would fall asleep in the car and we would just let him sleep in his car seat, or his swing. The kid was a heavy sleeper! I could even change his diaper without waking him up. DD--complete opposite. Didn't want anything to do with sleeping in a crib. She would fall asleep while I was nursing her and I would go to set her down in the crib, she would wake up and start screaming. She spent most nights in our bed until she was 3 or 4, and she had her big girl bed then. It's funny, for all the problems we had with her not sleeping, for the past 8 years (she is turning 12 in a week), she will get herself ready for bed every night and just go on her own--never fought us about staying up late. You will find that you need to be flexible and do what is right for your family and your child. We let our kids sleep in our bed--it worked for us. I would never tell anyone to do that. I agree with gabriel maddie--your sis should MYOB, but that will not happen, so when she gives her unwanted advice, and believe me, you will get a lot of it--I'm still getting it with a 16 and 12 year old--just smile, nod and let it go in one ear and out the other.

[VivaciousJewelz]

8 kids?? Wow! That's awesome! I thought I was pushing my luck by wanting to have 4!

My sister has backed off a lot in the last month or so. One reason is b/c my cousin (who is the same age as me) and her husband are having a baby (despite doctor's orders and recommendations), and it's a really scary thing b/c they are a LOT worse off than DH and I. Also, my other sister and her DH are struggling too, and have asked her for money, so I think she's relieved that DH and I are doing okay and haven't been having any issues. Also, my work was super nice and they pitched in to buy me a crib and a rocking glider. So I will have the option of which to use.

We've been so blessed so far with how generous people are. When I first discovered I was pregnant, there were so many people that freaked out and commented on how I couldn't afford it, and blah blah blah, but so far, I think I've only spent $200 out of pocket, and that includes stockpiling 2500 wipes and about 30 packs of diapers, a nice, used Pack N Play, and some odds and ends from a consignment store. I really feel like we can make it work if we decide to have another baby after this one.

That being said, we're going to wait at least a year (hopefully) before getting pregnant again, since twins run in both our families and it would be our luck that we'd try for one but actually get TWO!

[Sculpture Widow]

Originally Posted by ASweetHeart You going to find that you get a lot of unwanted advice with kids - go with your insticts and don't let any one else's opinions get to you.

Perhaps it might be trial and error.....but you will figure out what works best for you and your family.

My kids never used a pack-n-play OR a crib. they slept right by me on a mattress on the floor. They are/were always happy, always attended to.

I never worried about my kids getting caught in a rail, or falling out, or feared about anything tipping over, or something of that sort. They were 7 inches to the floor -- but in the middle of a king size bed, them rolling off the side was never a worry either.

Have never had an issue with travel, the baby just sleeps with me.

[gabriel_maddie]

We probably "couldn't afford it" at first, in most people's eyes because we didn't have the house, college savings, etc. I was in college getting my master's, and my husband was just starting out in the airlines. Every time we had another baby, the money was always there. He just happened to get either new contracts, a change in pay, etc. We have always been taken care of, and it has always worked out for us. We have lived on one income the entire time we have been married. The coupon thing has helped us a bunch, and it helps that I love craigslist and can't imagine buying things new anymore. I have always heard that if you wait until you can afford to have kids, you will never have them because no one can truly afford them. You make trade-offs. I don't go on the 2-3 vacations a year. I don't go to Disney. We are rich in other ways. My kids go to private school. We are surrounded by cousins that they play with all the time. They don't have to leave the house to have a playmate. They have never done without anything they needed....despite my families insistence that they need all the material things that have turned at least one of my sibling's kids into a spoiled, disobedient, and disrespectul brat.

As far as letting things go in one ear and out the other, it only works for so long. People need to be put in their place once in awhile, and the sooner the better. They need to know that their place is not in your business. I wish I would have been as upfront as I am now with my family because the more you let it go on, the worse it becomes. I have also realized that when you accept help or even presents from those same people, it always has strings attached...for instance, they gave your child a birthday present, so now they feel they have the right to say whatever they want or criticize your parenting. It is so not worth it. I wish I could go back in time, tell people to mind their own business, if they didn't follow that advice, cut them off. I wouldn't have accepted the nice gifts they gave because it always had strings.

I wouldn't worry about having your 3 more or even worry about having your one more. Just get through your first. Relax and enjoy it. Don't worry about what will happen in the future, how you will pay for college, etc. Just get through today. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't be prudent with spending or your planning, but worrying about things that aren't even here yet will help no one. JMO, of course.

[JOURDYSMOM]

Not reading all the posts..too tired LOL....

Both of my LO's are in Pack and Plays. Camrynn moved to the PnP in my room at 14 months old as I couldn't lift her in and out of the crib after climbing the 14 stairs to get there.

She is still in it as we started to remodel her room and it isn't done yet (whole other story LOL)

The baby has been in a separate PnP since day one, as the room isn't done and I have no other place to put her. I set them up every night in the living room and they go to bed. I take them down in the mornings to have space.

They are just fine. Baby will sleep just fine and be perfectly safe.