I need brutally honest opinions from parents

[VivaciousJewelz]

So, I'm pregnant, and the plan was for DH to be a SAHD after the baby is born. He's great with kids, has lots of experience. The problem is that the bills are creeping up (including DH's student loans that his parents didn't tell us they stopped paying last year... but I digress).

My friend suggested that after the baby is born and he gets accustomed to our newborn, that he try to also provide daycare for 1 or 2 other children in our area. He would love to do that, however, he's got 2 things going against him that I think will keep anyone from wanting him as a daycare provider. 1) He's a man and 2) He's black.

My question is: Would you, as a parent, trust a responsible, caring black man to watch your children IF the following conditions are met?
1) He has current,up-to-date CPR/Infant CPR/First Aid certifications
2) He has solid references
3) He has current background check information which is redone every 6 months
4) (Making sure our home is appropriate for a child, of course)

If he has all these things, would you trust your child with him? And, if not, is there something else he do that would make you comfortable, or, would you never be comfortable with a black man taking care of your kids?

Please be honest, I won't be offended, I just wanted some opinions. Thanks!

[ASweetHeart]

References might help his case and make people feel more comfortable. Do you have friends, family, neighbors ect that have kids he's watched?

[ASweetHeart]

Opps!!! NM. You already said he does.

[judymd]

I bet there is someone who would love to have a black man in their child's life.

There are "mannies" out there, just have to be patient for the right kid/family.

[cooktre]

Gosh. I would hope his race wouldn't be a factor (it wouldn't for me), but I could see how his being a guy would. When I think about that, though, I think that's sexism, really (I'm a big pusher of "daddy rights AND responsibilities"!!! Hehe)

So, I don't think I'd be more hesitant to have a black man to watch my kids than a black woman or a white woman or whatever. But... I'll be honest and say I think I would be really funny about who watched my kids, not matter what race or sex they happened to be.

The references are good and the certification and background checks. How about if you offered a nanny-cam (just a cheap web-cam on the living room) so parents could watch in sometimes during the day? I think that makes parents feel better. I'd also like to get to know my sitter on a personal level. Maybe you guys could host dinners and invite the prospective parents over once in a while? I'd also feel a little more secure using someone I knew from school, work, or church so maybe it would help to recruit parents from those places.

[chrissyf3]

I honestly wouldnt be comfortable with a man or a woman unless I'd known them for years.

[judeshoney]

My kids have always gone to daycare, and I can tell you that the men there are just as wonderful as can be.

That being said, when DD was potty training and she had a male teacher, I was a little uncomfortable. I talked to the director to make sure he wasn't going to be part of the process.

He happened to be white (as are we) but being of another race wouldn't have bothered me. And it didn't bother me when males at daycare changed her diaper as an infant. I was just weird about the potty training thing.

I think depending on the age of the children, you may run into more interference because he's a man than the color of his skin.

[beth119]

I would see NOTHING wrong with it. I had a guy babysiter when I was little, and he was my FAVORITE.

IMO, men tend to be more fun with kids and ladies more nurturing (not in all cases).

As far as race... who cares? Really.

[VivaciousJewelz]

Originally Posted by ASweetHeart Opps!!! NM. You already said he does.

Yes, he's got references from friends, family, acquaintances, and a reference from the county as he used to do autism therapy as well as child care.

Originally Posted by cooktre The references are good and the certification and background checks. How about if you offered a nanny-cam (just a cheap web-cam on the living room) so parents could watch in sometimes during the day? I think that makes parents feel better. I'd also like to get to know my sitter on a personal level. Maybe you guys could host dinners and invite the prospective parents over once in a while? I'd also feel a little more secure using someone I knew from school, work, or church so maybe it would help to recruit parents from those places.

Good ideas! Thanks!

Originally Posted by chrissyf3 I honestly wouldnt be comfortable with a man or a woman unless I'd known them for years.

I totally understand. It's HARD finding people to trust with your kids!

[VivaciousJewelz]

Originally Posted by judeshoney My kids have always gone to daycare, and I can tell you that the men there are just as wonderful as can be. That being said, when DD was potty training and she had a male teacher, I was a little uncomfortable. I talked to the director to make sure he wasn't going to be part of the process. He happened to be white (as are we) but being of another race wouldn't have bothered me. And it didn't bother me when males at daycare changed her diaper as an infant. I was just weird about the potty training thing. I think depending on the age of the children, you may run into more interference because he's a man than the color of his skin.

Yeah, he said he would be uncomfortable with that, too. We would probably do something where he only watched babies OR already potty trained girls for just this reason.